Prayer Request and Chain

Well I have been praying for Stellan over at Mckmama, you can follow my link off Noodles Nest on the side bar to read about him.

In the mean time one of the baby's in my own church is very sick and was rushed to CHKD. Please uplift Baby Hannah and her family. They are good friends of mine too. Here is her link: http://jennturnage.blogspot.com/


Thanks for your prayers.

Oh where oh where did the TomTom go!

The new TomTom GPS that my mom received for Christmas went missing. We discovered this as we were getting ready to head to over to Virginia Beach to the Cheesecake Factory and to the Boardwalk Christmas lights. We backtracked to our business where was the last place she remembered having it in her hands. No TomTom. We went back home and searched and searched and searched, no TomTom. I prayed that it would show up but no TomTom. We finally went and picked up my sister and her family who were already mad we were late because we couldn't find our TomTom, she was doubly mad because she gave it to my mom for Christmas. My mom is now in tears and then my brother in law said he didn't want to go because he said my mom would ruin their night because she was upset. She did eventually calm down but still no TomTom. She worried and worried but tried not to show it. When we got home we went back to our business and looked all over her desk. No TomTom. I was beginning to think that she accidentally left the car unlocked this afternoon and someone took it. We came back home, looked all over the computer, her room, no TomTom. Then I told her to pick up the bag I had from Sunday School and lo and behold there was Betsy, the TomTom. How did Betsy get there since we do know the route to church, she has only driven it for 55 years? I know, I rode with her today to save gas and she slammed her brakes on two times and things went flying. I have to assume that the TomTom dropped in my bag then because I had no reason to have the TomTom in my Sunday School bag. I don't need GPS to teach preschoolers. Well sometimes I need some serious help but never what a GPS can help me with unless I may neeed to find one of the munchkins. ( It has happened during a presentation, she went and sat with her aunt and I did not know it, really scared me.) Well anyways despite the upset, TomTom was found and my prayer was answered but in God's time not mine. Thank you.

Very productive day

What I accomplished between 9AM and 2 PM..... washed four loads of laundry, made carmelitas ( recipe later), made pasta salad, grits casserole, hashbrown casserole, sausage balls, chopped summer sausage, ummh lots of it for sandwiches, tomatoes and onion, wrapped six gifts and colored my hair. Wow, no wonder I am tired. Is it worth it. At he moment it is but now that I am exhausted from all my work and our family party, I really don't think so. The good thing is that I do not have to make breakfast tomorrow , I just have to reheat. So maybe tomorrow I will be thankful I did all that today. In the mean time, I must remember that Christmas is not for baking and running ragged it is about the birth of our Saviour. The Saviour that redeemed us on the cross 33 years later. Thank You Jesus and Happy Birthday.

One must remember the employees at the store want to go home too

OK, When you are shopping this Christmas Eve, please remember that the employees of the business want to go home too.
Now here is my rant....

This evening I was closing down the registers but had not flipped our closed sign yet. My employee was heading there to do that and to lock the door three minutes after technical closing time. This lady barged through the door asking what time do we close. I said, now. She pleaded please don't close before I can run next door ( we have a organic grocery store beside us) and buy something. The niceness in my agreed provided that she hurried but I also told her I had plans and needed to leave. The meanness in me was wondering what kind of audacity this woman had asking me to stay open after I told her we were closing and wait for her to shop at another store. Well she was back in no time because the other store closed on her which is really what I should have done. People think because we are a Christian business that we can be walked all over and it gets really old. She had a special order in which I had to then go to the back of the store to get and bring back up . Needless to say this was on my time and I was perturbed. I was also perturbed that her special order had been in the store since December 3 and she waits til the 23rd after closing to come get it. I told her the total. She looks at me and then says here is my coupon. I was perturbed again because she could have handed it to me all along. Then she wants the coupon back because she wants to make sure my total agrees with the total she had calculated and had written on her coupon. My patience is getting very low now. The totals matched. Oh we are not done. She then goes searching and searching for her money while I patiently and impatiently wait. She then decides to use her credit card because she wants to keep her cash. I ring her out. Then she stops and says, " Do you have some pretty paper that you can wrap this in for me?" That was the last draw . I know I have paper and I can wrap for a small charge but we are now into 15 minutes of my time and I am late for a Christmas party. I looked at her and said, " no I do not have any paper at this time to wrap for you but behind you I have some beautiful gift bags that YOU can buy and wrap yourself. " Oh, I was fit to be tied. She asked what my name was. I think she is going to call the manager and complain that I was impatient on my time. Ohhhh, if she only knows that I am the manager! HEEEHEEE!

Now some may say, well she didn't know you closed at 7. We have closed at 7 for years. We are not in a shopping center that has late hours. We are the latest closing store usually. If I told you that we are closing, why would you ask me to stay open for you to shop elsewhere while I just sit and wait on you. Oh that was rude. Then once you are in there , you proceed not to hurry even after the employee explained to you that she had to be somewhere and that we were closed. Then have the audacity to want me to wrap your present after we were closed knowing I was in a hurry. Technically I did not lie to her. Yes we had paper but no I was not going to wrap her present on my time under these circumstances . So technically it was not available at this time. ARRRRGH! I really am usually very polite and helpful but this lady was pushing it.

While I am on my soapbox. We ran a free gift with $35 purchase promotion. When we go to our conventions we receive tons of pre-release books that we can not sell. I took the books and added candy, snacks and a coupon off your next visit. Remember folks this is free, ok. The number of people that were perturbed that my snacks and goodies blocked the back of the book so they could not read the synopsis was unbelievable. One lady even went and took the bags apart to see the synopsis. I was quite peeved. Did they not understand this was free? I did not have to give them the choice of books. I could have just grabbed a bag and threw it in there bag. These people were choosy and picky over something that was free. One woman said she noticed that there was a coupon in there and she was planning on buying $35 and wanted to know if I would go ahead and give her the bag so she could get the coupon out of it and use it towards her $35 purchase. Needless to say that was a big No and I explained it was on a next purchase. She said well this is my next purchase. I explained yes but the bag does not belong to you yet it belongs to me until you pay the $35 purchase. I was just trying to do something nice and reward people for spending $35. WOW! It was unbelievable.

I am done ranting and will try to get my Christmas spirit back.

Christmas play pictures

Christmas through the eyes of a child.... Including the collie dog in the right corner. And yes we have sheperhesses and only one shepherd. What can you do when you have mostly girls, you improvise.

No time to explain them now but I have to post some cute pictures of the kids I teach at church and their Christmas play. Now realize out of 10 kids, 7 are under 5. I was exhausted. My nephew is the one wearing the yellow tie and he was also Joseph. It was a great Sunday even though the

the preacher ended early and cut our Christmas party real short. I mean real short, we had just sat them down to have snacks. Needless to say they were packed up and sent home.

Well I am late for work.

PS... Thanks to Jen over at
http://www.jennturnage.blogspot.com/ for letting me steal her photos. I was so busy helping direct that I did not get any photos. Her son was the wiseman in the yellow hat. He is also wearing the Christmas sweater on the back right in the singing photo. Oh yeah, her baby, Hannah was baby Jesus.

Kids say the darnest things...

I was driving to Wal-mart, yes my once or twice a year visit, with my nephew. I was planning our church Christmas party for this Sunday. I was asked to bring sandwiches in Christmas shapes. I asked my five year old nephew what kind of sandwich he thought the kids would like. He said, " Peanut Butter." I said," How about peanut butter and jelly." His response, " OK.... noooo it has to be peanut butter and jellyfish jelly sandwiches." Of course, my mouth dropped . I had to figure this one out. I repeated, " peanut butter and jellyfish jelly sandwiches." He said , " Yep, that is what Sponge Bob eats." I had to call my co-coordinator and tell her that. After her laughter, she asked if any kids had peanut allergies. I told her my group didn't have peanut allergies but I was not sure about jellyfish jelly allergies. Doesn't that sound quite tasty... Peanut Butter and Jellyfish Jelly Sandwiches.

YAYYYY!

YAYYYYY! Michelle won the Biggest Loser. You go girl!

Another dippy moment....

Well I could have labeled another blond moment but I think dippy sounds better for me now.

I took a shower this morning, like I do every morning. I was in a hurry though. I did all my necessary things to be clean for the day . So I thought. I got all lotioned up and was smelling good. I was getting dressed and in a good mood but low on time. I had five minutes to leave and still had to blow-dry my hair. Yep that was the problem, I wet my hair down but I did not wash it. I have to wash my hair daily because it looks very oily if I don't. What was I to do with five minutes left. Well I dried it enough, through some baby powder on it to absorb the oil, brushed it and went on. Nobody knew but me and now all of you. I could not be late to go rewash it and take the chance of my nephew crying at lunch because he thought I was not coming. His needs were greater than mine. I was ontime and he was happy. Needless to say I washed it as soon as I came home.

Whooh! I hope I get over all this ditsyness soon. Have you ever done such silly things?

Blonde Moment....

One of the many reasons I color my hair blond is to match my personality. Shhh! Don't tell everyone my secrets.

I went to the Y last week and saw that they were trying to "GO GREEN!" They are using cloth towels now instead of paper towels for the members to wipe the equipment down after use. This particular day was the first day for offering the cloth towels so they still had the paper towels available for someone like me, a blond. I grabbed my paper towel and cleanser and was on the equipment thinking hard about this "GO GREEN " thing. I was thinking it is really neat that are doing this but I do not know where to get a clean towel . I saw the two buckets, one labeled clean towels and the other labeled dirty towels. I just could not comprehend where the towels were that I was supposed to use. I understood that if you took a towel and did not use it then it would go in the clean towel bucket. I also understood that if you used the towel , it would go in the dirty bucket. By the way, I did not mention that both of these buckets were like kitchen trash cans with a cover, so I could not see in them. I kept going from machine to machine thinking and thinking. I finally let it go and thought they had a lot of people that used the towels and they were out of them. On my last piece of equipment the light came on in my head.... Can you guess? DUH! You get the clean towels out of the clean towel bucket and when you are through they are considered dirty and go in the dirty towel bucket. Nobody who takes a towel will keep it clean when it's purpose is to be used. What a revelation! Really I did graduate from high school, a community college and a university .... Priceless, well I should not say priceless, the degrees cost a lot especially for me to be so ditsy sometimes. I think I over think things sometimes, I often do that with my nephew's kindergarten homework too.


Sorry if I offended any blonds who are smart. Obviously I am not one of them. I think I may have colored my hair too much and the chemicals are seeping in my brain.

I have a secret...

Shhhh!... But my secret is.... Oh my!..... There is a dozen KK doughnuts in my kitchen. Well , less than a dozen now... Shh!.... Really I have not had even one. There are six missing but I have not had a desire for even one. Can you believe it, KK doughnuts and I have not even had one? I am in shock myself.

I am off to eat some steamed spinach for my midnight snack. That is what I want, not a KK doughnut. I can not believe it, can you?

I'm so cold.....

I am so cold. It is about 33 outside which is early cold for my area. Usually it is this cold January-April here. Yes, April sometimes. I went out to our city's hollydazzle tonight. It is a real nice night of strolling, caroling, bells, crafts and hot beverages. The highlight is the fireworks around the fountain before the city tree is lit. This was one of the first years it was actually cold for a Christmas event. After that my mom and I went for our new tradition that started last year at Waffle House. It was freezing in there too. They had accidentally turned the heat off. I was sitting there in my winter coat and scarf freezing. Now I am home and can not get warm. I don't wear socks to bed but tonight may be a socks night.

Well off to find some socks and all the blankets in the house.

Pretty Tasty Chicken Chili Soup

I was reading the December issue of Better Homes and Gardens (YMCA copy) while exercising on the elliptical the other night . I never read that magazine but it had some really interesting recipes. So interesing that I had to go buy my own copy for the recipes. In the winter I make a lot of soup, I mean a lot. I also must say I never completely follow a recipe , I exchange and play with what I think may be good. A recipe is only a suggestion. This was simple and easy too.

Chicken Chili Soup

1 can garbanzo beans ( chick peas), drained
1 can northern beans , drained
2 cans chicken broth
1 can chopped tomatoes with chiles ( Rotel, I used Save-Alot brand)
1/2 pack chili seasoning
1 cup crushed tortilla chips
1 cup shredded cheese
garlic ( I use alot, others may use a little)
1 onion
olive oil
cooked or canned chicken ( as much as you want, I was in a hurry and deboned a rotisserie)

Saute onion and garlic in olive oil. Add 1/2 packet of chili seasoning. Add chicken broth , then use the cans to add 2 cans of water. Add both cans of beans, chopped tomatoes, crushed tortilla chips and cheese. Stir and add chicken. Let cook on medium for about 30 minutes. Ohhh, I also added a little garlic and herb seasoning ( salt-free) but I add that to everything.

It was and is very tasty . It made enough for three hearty eaters for dinner and two bowls for lunch tomorrow.

Update..

Thanksgiving was not so bad. My aunt only had one outrage moment that I saw . She went ballistic over someone dropping one small smidgen of cocktail sauce on the kitchen floor. My dad rescued the day. He brought his new scooter that he has that he uses at Busch Gardens and various places. He took all the kids outside for about two hours letting them ride with him around the block if they were little and actually letting them ride it if they were older. This relieved the parents worrying about anything in the house being messed up. Yayy Dad!

Thankful Thurday!

In my first post I was complaining and not being thankful. So here goes:

THANKFUL THURSDAY!

• Spending Thanksgiving with my family, especially my grandparents.
• Already having all my outside Christmas decorations
• The case of fresh collards my neighbor just gave us, ummh good.
• Food on the table this Thanksgiving.
• Jesus, for eternal life.
• A job , even though my paychecks run late, at least I get some.
• Friends
• Macy's parade.
• Health, next week will be one year since my cancer scare and surgery.
• Clothes in the closet, well on the floor and on the bed too.
• Christmas music
• Christ's birth.
• Running water.
• A car to drive
• Gas prices that are decent
• My Bible

Happy Thanksgiving All! Remember to give thanks to God for all your blessings and not just your meal. It is way more than the feast.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

I am taking the day off and not worrying today about what I consume. Tomorrow I am back on track. Someone made me wedding cookies yesterday. Oh my! The are my weakness. Thank goodness they only gave me twelve. This morning I had my annual Thanksgiving breakfast of sausage balls. I did not over indulge because they were delicious. I listened to my tummy and it said to stop. My taste buds say we want more but my tum-tum says that is enough.

I am celebrating the afternoon at my aunt's house. This is a stressful day because she is a stressful person. She acts like she is OCD. She will freak out if you accidentally drop one little morsel on the floor. The kids can not even play without the parents worrying about anything being broke. She freaks no matter where they play. Even if they play toys on the bed she will fuss that her bedspread is out of place. If they play on the floor she worries about the carpet. This year we have been informed that all 20 of us must eat in her dining room and sun room. OK for some houses that might not be bad. For hers though, it only holds about 12 comfortably in both rooms. She wants a Norman Rockwell moment where we are all at the table. Great but my family is hefty and 20 people for a table of 8 and 4 is not happening. Why she wants us to come to her house is beyond me except for the fact she puts us all to work after eating with getting her Christmas decorations down. See actually she uses us. So while all of you enjoy your afternoon with your family, I will enjoy parts of it but being at her house is far from enjoyable. It is all we can do to tolerate. She also informed us that if we eat at 2 no one can leave before 4. What a dreadful day! I will enjoy being with my grandparents since they are 90 and 94 and going downhill fast. I will tolerate her for their sake as long as they are alive. Well have a great Thanksgiving. Thanks for letting me vent.

Damage Control... Holiday Stress

This evening the last thing I wanted to do was go to the Y and workout. You see I had let one bad choice today control my thoughts. The bad choice was a whole meatball sub. The thoughts were rapid. The first one, you already blew it today with the meatball sub so just keep going. It is Thanksgiving week , you know you will blow it Thursday so keep going. The third, well its the holidays, you might as well just forget your lifestyle change and have fun. Oh the devil was having fun in my head. What did I do? Well I came home, ate dinner and went to the Y. Oh boy, I did not want to go to the Y but I did . I had some serious thoughts during my 25 minute elliptical workout and 25 minute circuit training. What were those thoughts, you ask? Ok , here goes. I am proud of me for being here, first off I know this is a bad week with Thanksgiving celebrations but I am not going to let that control my whole week. I am here now and performing damage control. If I over indulge on Thursday, it is ok, it is only one day. I will just have to get my booty up and out at the Y as much as possible this week. I can and I will. I was also thinking about a conversation today about seeing people who you don't see often and will know you have gained weight. We all dread this. I had the same situation this Saturday for a baby shower. It was for a friend I have known all of my life. I had not seen him or his wife nor his family in awhile, nor some mutual workmates from years ago. I did not want to go but I put on my big girl panties and went. Luckily, only one former workmate was there and she was nice. My friends and their family embraced me like I had just seen them yesterday. They were friendly. In fact I received an email from one today stating that she thought I looked great and could tell I had lost weight. Well that day totally went the opposite of what I thought it would. It was actually encouraging. My next thought was on stress eating, yep that includes holiday stress. I need to take control of my eating and not my emotions. I can not blame situations. I have to blame me. The situation did not make me eat the taco, chips, soda, whipped cream, cookie, the whole pizza or the whole sub. I chose to , I chose to let the emotions control me and not me control the emotions. I need to remember this and use it as mental training in the midst of this economy, work stress, home stress and holiday stress. It is hard but I can take control. I can choose to journal, walk, exercise, read, pray, etc. If I am insistent on eating , I can make healthier choices, instead of chips, choose a crisp salad, instead of chips, choose pretzels, popcorn, etc. I need the control not the food. It is my prayer to remember these thoughts and revelations each day when faced with the stress of life, work, family and the holidays. As for the holidays, I can control my choices before the big day and I will . I will continue to go to the Y even when I don't want to because when I come home I feel great and I love that feeling. ( By the way, off the subject, I cant get the paragraphs on blogger again, so sorry this is one big thought)

Little one prayers...

Working with preschoolers in Sunday School you learn that these precious little ones will some how let you know something is not right at home. Most of my kids are brought by their grandparents, how sad. This one little girl kept telling me that she was going to see her mommy last Sunday. I found this just a little odd because she lives with her mommy but spends Saturdays and Sundays with nanny and papa. I asked her grandma why she was so excited to see her mom. Then did I find out the sad news. Her mom came home one day over five weeks ago and told her husband to leave and to take their daughter because she needed a break. This broke my heart. This little girl is so precious and beautiful from the inside out. During this five weeks or more she has seen her daughter very little. The mom will come get her for a few hours and bring her back and then not call or talk to her for a week or two. There are so many women that would love to have a child and can't and here she is not wanting to see her daughter. It breaks my heart. Today the little girl was sick and went to the ER, the mom did come but the mom got upset because the little girl cried for Nana not momma. What did she expect her to do?Nana is the one taking care of her every day. I can not give you her name but please pray for this little one in your prayers this week.

Thankful Thursday from Lilbit the cat

Thankful Thursday from the me the cat, LILBIT!

Thank you for the bright sunshine and warmth for me to take just one of my many naps in a day.

Thank you for black hair bands , you know the one you see in the picture that I am guarding by my left front leg .My missy bought them for herself than I hijacked and use them for fetch and tug of war. I didn't even let her keep one. I would see them on her vanity and steal them . Now they are all mine, did I say ALL MINE!

Thank you for my missy's big feet so I can attack them and bite them on her way to the shower. Oh it is so fun!

Thank you for bathroom faucets. I do have a water cup but I much prefer to drink the drips out of the bath tub faucet.

Thank you for my missy's recliner that I sleep in all day except at night when I allow her to sit in it.

Thank you for my missy's bed. As soon as I hear her get up I go and steal the warm spot. That is so nice of her to warm it for me all night.

Thank you for my food. My missy always gives me some though I never beg for my food . I only beg for her ice cream! Though I only want a little but it is soo good.

Thank you for my missy seeing me that day at the SPCA and falling in love with me. I was so cute and little at the time. Well, hmmh, I still am cute, at least I think.

Thank you for my Big Mrs. finding me in my neighbor's backyard after I escaped for five days last October. I really was scared and skinny. I know now that house I am stuck in is safe and warm. I won't do that again.

Thank you for that little boy, I think the Mr. and Mrs. call him their grandson and missy calls him her nephew. I do love him and he is my buddy. I do miss him not being here as much now that he started school. Though I do not miss hiding all my toys from him. Now I do not have to hide all my rubber bands and fluffy balls under the television stand anymore. Uh-Oh, I hear him coming... I have to get busy... BYE!

A funny thing happened....

A funny thing happened at lunch today with my nephew at school. Between my sister and I we meet him everyday for lunch at school. ( Yes, he is spoiled but he is still adjusting to how long the school day is so we meet him for lunch and it breaks up his day. )Anyways, I go on the day she works. I understood that she was working a half-day today and would not be at lunch so I went. Much to my surprise , she showed up too.

This was very confusing to his fellow kindergarten friends. See my sister and I look alike so everyday they thought we were the same person. One kid, Tyrone, would always say, "Cameron, your mom is here." I would respond, " I am his aunt." The other days it really was his mom. When Tyrone sat down he looked at us and said.." Cameron, do you have two mommies?" My sister and I just laughed. Oh my the rumors will fly soon. We did try to explain to him that I was the aunt and his Mommy's sister but was he listening was the question.

This is the same class that last week one of the little boy's told my sister that his daddy was going to be mad at him. She asked why.He proceeded to tell her that he was going to tell his mommy that his daddy slept with another woman last night. Remember these are kindergartners.

Oh the odes of public school. Sad to say though, private school may not be any different.

Prayer Request

I do not know this blogger but ran across her blog off my friend, Jen's blog. She is going through a heart-breaking experience with an adoption. I am an adoption advocate and most of you know my nephew is adopted. In my state the biological parents have one year to change their minds. That is a hard year when you have the child and love him more than life itself. You wonder the entire year if today is going to be the phone call that they want him back. I give all glory and praise to God that the dreaded phone call never happened and the adoption was legal after that year. Unfortunately this woman has had the dreaded phone call. The baby was born last week, she had not taken her home but she had held her , fed her and bonded with her. I can not imagine what she is going through. Please visit her blog, pray for her and encourage her.http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/2008/11/in-tears.html

Conflict... How do you handle it?

I am just curious as to how different families handle conflicts within the family.

Do you express how you feel , get it out , and let it go? I do in most cases.

Do you hold it in until you explode? I have done this.

Do you just pretend there is no conflict and never deal with it? I know a few that do. It seems so unnatural pretending things are always honky-dory when they are not.

As new members enter our family and circle of friends, I am discovering alot more of the latter question. How can you pretend there is no conflict? My blood pressure would be through the roof. If the opportunity surfaces, I will express my concern, grievance or conflict. I will fuss, yell or talk about it but once it is off my chest it is gone. I am ok thirty minutes later. I have run across a few people recently that think everything in a family is supposed to be wonderful all the time, no conflict. You never snap at one another and you never point out anyone's short-comings . Not that we look for them but faults do surface. Well how can we become better people if we don't express our feelings, learn from it and move on? Shouldn't your family be the one place that you can expect honesty no matter what. Are we really being honest with each other when we don't solve conflict or just pretend it does not exist?

As you can tell my mind has been wandering and discovering hypothetical questions. . Wow tomorrow may be the true meaning of life.

Thankful Thursday

I have been going through some personal struggles that have left me wondering if I was thankful for anything at this stage in my life. I have contemplated it for these few Thankful Thursdays and decided that maybe this would life my spirits.

I am thankful for

• God's love... he is always there we just have to find him and get our minds off "me"
• My beautiful nephew... Praise the Lord for adoption
• The love of my nephew... he loves for me for who I am
• My parents
• My grandparents, she is 90 and he is 94
• My health, last year was pretty scary
• My preschool sunday school class... oh I love those kids
• My siblings... even when we argue, we were all blessed with different opinions
• My handsome orange tabby cat... even though he plopped on my stomach at least 15 times this morning because he felt I needed to get up
• Roof over my head
• Food in the cupboards, refrigerator and freezer
• DVR
• Clean clothes
• Running water
• YMCA-cheap membership so I can work out and work my frustrations out
• Blogger and my followers that let me vent
• Jen, for reading the long emails I can not blog about

Well, actually I could go on but I will save some for next Thursday.

gastic bypass thoughts

I started this post the other night. I went to watch a television program and fell asleep until 3 AM. So here goes again...

Gastric Bypass....

I have been thinking about this subject for weeks. I am a candidate but I have no desire. My neighbor came over to do some plumbing things around here and he has lost 100 ponds since his surgery this summer. He was trying to encourage me to do it but everything he said turned me off. He went on to say he has to have these protein shakes 3 times a day and he does not take his vitamins he can tell . He can only eat an ounce of food at a time. He went on to say, I can not have soda, red meat.... etc. Well what about that do I want to do forever. If I had that much self control for all that, I have the self control to do it on my own and am determined to do so.

I am not against gastric bypass for anyone else that feels led to do it . It is a life-saver to some but at this time I do not feel led to have it done. I know five people that have had it done. Four of which have not had many problems and do not regret it. I know one who wished she could redo life and not have it done. She has had nothing but problems since day one. One day when I am down and discouraged I may opt to have it done but at this time it is not an option. In the meantime, Weight Watchers is still my choice for guidance and encouragement.

Thoughts anyone....

By the way, I have been down about the weight I have gained back in the last few months. The other night at the Y , a guy came up and told me he could tell I had lost weight. I chuckled, thinking, ok not a good line to flirt with at this time. Then as I talked to him , he told me to remember to not think about the gain. Get my mind back in gear and realize my loss for the year. I am 15 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year. How true! Now it is my prayer to actually be able to say that again next year.

Struggles and Trials

I am struggling with my weight, emotions, finances, work, and so much more. It seems everything around me right now is negative.

PROBLEM:I went to work-out last night and was thinking deep on the treadmill. I loved the feeling of losing weight , getting smaller and seeing results but I can not get that feeling again right now. I have no desire to exert energy. What has happened? I don't know. I know I am in a slump and need to pull out . Heading into winter does not help with the winter blues. I do not want to gain weight, my jeans are already feeling tight again. I don't like that.
SOLUTION:I will keep trying. My goal is to go back to WW meeting tomorrow. I have been following plan somewhat but have slipped.

PROBLEM:Our business is going through another trial which makes my paychecks very periodic. This week is only two days late. I am trying to hang on during the trials but I have bills haunting me. I may live with the parents but I have car payment, insurance, property taxes, cell phone, student loans, medical bills and some credit cards I keep trying to pay-off but they keep haunting me.( Not to mention , Christmas presents to buy) I have removed my credit cards from my wallet but the balance goes no where.
SOLUTION: I have already cut back my eating out and this month started a budget. I knew I had a birthday dinner and gift to buy for my sister so I put that money away so I would not spend it. I even took my check card out of my wallet because I have a habit of playing beat the bank. Beat the bank has cost me dearly in the last few months. I also put some to the side for savings so I will never be broke... I even forgot where I put it. I have now made it a point to pray everyday for our business.
As for Christmas presents, I have a habit of buying all year and putting away, well last night I found a pile of presents. I found items meant for my mom for mother's day which will be Christmas now. I found photo albums and stationary which will go to my sister-in-law. I also found candles and other things I bought for various friends and employees. Praise the Lord. No, they are not regifts but new ones I bought on sale. Alot of names knocked off my list already.

PROBLEM: Emotions... the stress around me at work and home leads to the emotional eating. My parents have been married for almost 50 years and this last year has been the most trying. They bicker alot here. My grandparents are 90 and 94 and failing fast. I know the time is coming for them to go onto glory but I can not imagine life without them. My mom has to do more for them on top of her stress here taking care of my dad. I do try to help but I am not a caretaker.( That is why I am not making the money my sister makes as a RN.) My grandparents are both hard of hearing so when my mom talks to them on the phone you can hear across the house and outside. My dad needs a hearing aid but he doesn't think so... everything you say you have to repeat... it gets old. ....it gets old . Do you see stress?
SOLUTION: Move out... refer back to the finance situation.

PROBLEM: Stressing about my love life. I look around and so many people in my life have met and married their soul mates. Yet at 35 , I am still single. I have a bad habit of looking at someone and thinking, wow how did he/ she get a husband/wife? I know that is wrong. Then I think , what is wrong with me. I am nice, I am pretty, somewhat, why can't I find anyone. My brother did eharmony and so did a friend. My brother is married and my friend is engaged.... Well I am worried about rejection when men meet me because I am not skinny. SOLUTION: Get some self esteem and courage... Pray!

This is only a brief synopsis of some of my struggles. I am trying and I am praying . Maybe blogging about it will release some of the negativity . I can hope and pray. Actually i do feel better. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read, now you are my prayer partner and warrior.

MY HEART HURTS

Those of you who know me know that I work in a Christian business that supposedly deals with Christian people. I say supposedly because not all people who profess to be a Christian are a Christian. Take this from first-hand experience.

In the move of closing my store, we ran across some invoices that were never posted on accounts. The customer took the invoice with them and know they are responsible. Unfortunately they were never posted to show up on a statement. We have no legal obligation to send them a statement. That is stated in our policy when they apply for accounts. It also stated that all money is due 30 days from the invoice... invoice, not statement. We know it was a mistake on our part. We issued letters to about 20 churches about this along with a copy of the invoice. We did have one church pay their invoice without a statement. Out of these 20 churches , most of them have come in or called to take care of the situation. One called yesterday and started off with attitude. She said she was not paying on behalf of her church, that it was never on a statement. I explained to her we don't have to send a statement that you are responsible for the money off the invoice. Well she had more lip to give me. I held mine because I wanted to say..." So your church is using stolen merchandise since it was not paid for" but I didn't . I remember my mom telling me that a soft answer turns away wrath. I went on to tell her we apologize for the mistake and by sending the letter we warning them that it will show up on next month's statement. DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID? No, you don't.... She told me, " YEP , IT IS YOUR MISTAKE AND YOU CAN PAY FOR IT?" I was heartbroken because the first thing in my mind was... What if Jesus said that to us? I did not say this to her but I told her she could call back and talk to the owner, in the mean time I had an authorized signature of a charge to her church. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE TOTAL WAS? No, you don't. It was for a measly $18. This woman ruined her Christian witness to me for $18.

Now my heart hurts because I keep dwelling on the statement, it is your mistake and you can pay for it. What kind of life would we have here on earth or for eternity if Christ had that attitude. We do not deserve his grace but he died for us on the cross for our mistakes. He didn't have to but he did. He could have said, handle your own mistakes, why should I die for your mistakes. I can only imagine that if he , which I know he did, heard that conversation that he was also heartbroken. I was devastated because I was supposedly dealing with a fellow christian. How can that woman use the items in her church in good faith knowing they were not paid for? With all that Christ did for us , how can anyone say that to anyone especially a Christian?


Also it puts you in an ethical situation that if you know you charged items and they did not show up on your statement, as a Christian do we say, oh great what a blessing or do we call the place and make it right. I am not perfect but I would rather have the clear conscience. I have been known to go back if I was not charged for something that I received. In part of her defense, she may not have received the invoice to know there was a charge, you know church protocol but once it was called to her attention shouldn't she have remedied it instead of being ugly and demanding and refusing to pay.... Thoughts to ponder and hearts to heal.

new paragraph

Please help! Jen, you will chuckle at this one because you asked me about it a long time ago . How come sometimes blogger does not let you start a new paragraph on your post and sometimes it does? I can not figure it out and that is why some of my posts are so unstructured. Please help if you know what I am doing wrong.

What I learned....

I attended the Celebration of Life Service this evening of our dear friend and customer. It was close to three hours long. The family called our store and asked that someone from our family say a few brief things about her. First let me tell you about her, she was a saint in my eyes. I can not tell you when I met her except she has always been around. She was one of the customers who became your friend. She would come back to the office and just talk to us about her life and ours. I knew what she had been through in life. Her pastor husband had an affair and they divorced. Was she bitter? Nope, she praised God through it all. She never once talked bad about her ex to her kids. Her daughter at age 30 was at a doctor's appointment for her diabetes and complications. She was laughing and joking with the doctor and then was gone. Right there at the doctor's office. Did she get bitter with God? Nope, she praised God for her life of 30 years. A few years after this she had custody of her nephew. He was riding his bike in the neighborhood and was hit by and car and died. Did she get bitter with God? No, she praised him for the time she had with her nephew. What a woman! Tonight I was remembering the last time I saw her and it was just last week. I was at work and deep into thought. My mom came up and said, " Bonita ( name changed) is out there, go say hi to her." I was so deep in thought I didn't want to and thought, well she is in here all the time , I will see her next time. Well I did decide to go talk to her and I am glad I did. The first lesson I learned.... don't take people for granted for they may not be here tomorrow and it may be a long time before I go to heaven to see them again. My brother spoke on how she was Legacy. Everyone one else talked about her works and what she did for God but no one talked about her legacy. Oh boy did she leave one with her personal life and church life. She was her church's secretary since she was in junior high and she was 54 when she passed. Her mind was always on Christ and what she could do to show God's love. I have to correct myself, her mind was not always on it, it came naturally for her without thought. Lesson two learned.... what can I do to live my life as a legacy, not for myself but for what I did for Christ. Another friend spoke tonight and what she said I could see her saying. She said, I could imagine her as she approached the pearly gates and approached St. Peter. She probably said... I am sorry St. Peter to wake you so early but can I please come in. As a last thought and dedication to my family friend....... WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday Funnies & serious thought

CHUCKLE 1
I teach the preschoolers on Sunday morning for Sunday School. Some days are frustrating and some are quite comical. Today was a comic relief day. My nephew is one of the older ones in my class being in kindergarten. Our lesson was about sharing and the story was about Abraham and Lot at the well with the sheep. I was telling them today we are talking about Abraham and ... well before I could say Lot , my nephew pops in with Abraham and Lincoln. I had to belly laugh because Abraham Lincoln was so many years after Abraham and Lot. It made me see how much he is learning at school at such a young age. He thought he was showing off what he learned in school. My helper was quick, she responded, " well Abraham Lincoln was a great hero but he is not the hero we are talking about today." Wow a kindergartener learning about good old Abe and retaining it. I don't think I covered that until 1st or 2nd grade.

SERIOUS THOUGHT 1

I also went and bought a dozen KK doughnuts for Sunday School. I put the whole dozen in front of me and opened them. Their eyes were huge because doughnuts are a treat. I then said, " these are all mine." Their mouths dropped and faces were so dejected. Then I said, " but I am choosing to share them with you today because you are my friends." Remember our lesson was on sharing. They were so excited. This lesson was priceless and they will remember it.

Chuckle 2

The second funny came up in conversation today and I was telling my neighbor about it and she laughed and laughed. I live in a racially diverse neighborhood. One of my closest neighbors is African American and we can talk about all sorts of things and never have problems. We were discussing the subject of funerals and how they are different in the white and black society. A friend and regular customer of ours passed away this weekend. We were telling our neighbor about all this lady had been through in life and they we had attended her daughter's funeral in which we were the only white folks and the people in the church were kind of rude to us. I went on to tell her that I attended a funeral of one of my dear black pastor's in which the opposite happened. (He was so dear that when his apartment security realized something was wrong with him and broke into the apartment and found him deathly ill but not gone. He called us at my store. He said that number was everywhere in the apartment. I was so surprised because he had a decent size church but the security guard could not find any number but ours. I sent my employee to be with him at the hospital and I made some phone calls to find family or church members. One of the numbers I called was to another pastor who ended up doing his funeral.) Ok, back on subject. My employee and I went to his funeral. The usher knew us and told us to sit with family. We didn't because I felt awkward but we sat about midway and yes we were the only white people. The pastor that did the funeral came in the store the next day and said... I saw you at the funeral. I started laughing because how could he miss us. I am a blonde white girl and my employee is a grey-haired white woman. How on God's green earth could you not miss the two of us? I am still chuckling at the thought of this. My neighbor thought it was hilarious. Her words,
" oh my a church full of chocolate and then you two vanillas. I am sure he saw you too."

SERIOUS THOUGHT 2

On my soap box, we will be going to the funeral this week of our friend. We will probably be the only white people. The funeral will be long because that is one of the differences in the society. We have short funerals. But why with as far as we have come with integrating society are situations like this so awkward. If your friend dies, you should go to show respect and not think about whether you may be the only white person , black person , puerto rican, mexican, etc. We are all equal. You are coming to show respect for the individual and the family. The fact that the person had so many racially diverse friends shows what a deep and well-respected person this individual really was.

Ok, I am off my soap box.

Helped One, Hurt One... It all balances

Last Thursday I had lunch with my nephew at school and was chatting with his teacher's assistant. I looked up because I heard a weird noise and saw one of his classmates choking. I yelled at the assistant who was closer who ran to assist the boy. At that moment he was able to dislodge the food by coughing with her assistance but it was scary. I was so thankful to see him choking before it was too late. I felt good after that, not because he choked but because I saw it when the assistant did not. Later in the day I took my nephew to the park with my SIL and the girl she babysits. They both had come up and said they were hungry and we both replied that they should play 10 more minutes. Well within five minutes, the young girl ( 9ish) was holding my nephew's hand and blood was streaking down his face. I don't do blood. I grabbed him and ran to the bathroom and tried to clean up and evaluate the situation. I was told he fell off the fireman's pole. How I did not see it, I do not know because you can see the whole play area from where I was sitting. He had a a small flap of skin hanging , so I took him to the hospital where my sister was working. She also could not tell if it would need a stitch. A doctor was doing rounds and looked at him and said, butterfly tape it. Well we did but he may have a little scar. I kept thinking in my care he is damaged for life. You know guilt. So for the day I had saved one and hurt one , even though I know I did not hurt him but it was on my watch he was hurt. The part that made me know my nephew was somewhat ok is that I told him we were going to see mommy. Now he knows mommy is a nurse and the last time he fell she peroxided him and bandaged him up. Well, he told me in the car, " NO not go see mommy, mommy do surgery, noooo, not mommy. " I had to laugh, peroxide is surgery.... wow does he have a lot to learn. The second part happened while I was driving. I had caught every red light on the way to the hospital and one turned yellow and I could have stopped but didn't. He was on the phone with his mommy in which he said...." mommy, aunt Becky just ran a red light." I was like wow he feels great enough to tattle tell but now my sister is going to say I was trying to kill him today. Oh boy, what a day!

I'm so sleepy

I finally went to the doctor last Thursday only to have it verified that I had bronchitis. He did give me some antibiotics and some more very tasty cough medicine with codeine. Blah! Tasty ... Blah! Cough Medicine... Blah! Just a spoonful of sugar will make the medicine go down. Ok , it will make it go down but I will be up all night coughing from the sugar high. Well I was up all night coughing anyways for five nights. I might as well have had the spoonful of sugar. Anyways, I am feeling better ( not great) now, Praise the Lord.
I have decided not to exercise or go to the Y for another week just to make sure I am over this mess. That is a good thing because I have been so sleepy even before the codeine. I am a night owl and I have been ready for bed by 9:30 PM and have been sleeping until 9:30 AM. I guess I do have five nights to make up for but oh my. If it wasn't for work, I probably would sleep long after 9:30 AM. Thank goodness I am the boss and come and go as I please most days. I do complain about the late shift but the last few days the late shift has been a lifesaver for my sleepiness. Well off to bed I go, after all 9:30 AM is awfully early and will be here before I know it. HA! Ha!

Cough medicine...

Have you ever wondered why things have progressed for the better on so many products but cough medicine? Why is it that the adult brand tastes so awful? Kids meds come in so many nice flavors but oh no not for adults. Oh my ! I dread taking my Robitussin and still hold my nose like I did when I was little. ... Somebody , somewhere make some progress on adult cough medicine..... PLEASE!

Biggest Loser Thoughts....

Anyone else watch Biggest Loser and think the game was changed to keep the yellow team daughter in the game? I am not for or against them but I found it very unusual that this early in the game they changed to only sending one person on the team home. One must remember that the weigh-in we see is not the real " weigh in". The contestants were weighed previously but do not know the results but the Biggest Loser producers do know them..... Hmmh! How odd! I am glad though that she does not get penalized for her father's health issues. By the way, you go yellow team dad for your weight loss since you went home. How proud your daughter must feel.

New month, New blog

Well I just received the email from AOL that AOL Journals are being discontinued. So I zoomed over here to blogger spot and started a new one. Same old person writing, just a new site and layout, Woohoo!



Not much to report today except I am fighting bronchitis and it has set me back on my exercise schedule. I may go to the doc tomorrow and then again I may not. I am such a procrastinator.