Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Family Resemblence

Some family history on who looks like who:

My brother always favored my mother, he is the oldest. I, the youngest, always favored my Dad. My sister, the middle child, did not favor either parent. We always said that she was the milkman's child. However, when I hit puberty, I began to favor her. At 21 , she hated to be told that we looked like twins because I was 13. It was appalling to her. At 48, she loves to be told we look like twins because it means she looks 40 or I look 48, that's scary.

Upon my brother's death,  I really looked hard and could see a huge resemblance in he and I in the eyes ( My Dad's eyes). However, you could not see that he favored my Dad at all even though I did. If you put us all three together ( siblings and me ), you knew we all came from the same gene pool.

All of this to say.... This evening my Dad , who has grown a beard, bent over to tease my cat by blowing on his ears, gave me a huge flashback of my brother. When he puckered with that beard, you may have well have been looking at my brother. It was eery, really.

I miss my brother so much. The holidays are approaching and even though this is our second year of holidays, it does not make it easier.

I don't always get my names straight but I think Luke Bryan wrote a song and sang it at the CMA's in memory of his two siblings that have passed. I tear up just because of the meaning of the song not because of them drinking a beer. This morning the song came on while I was getting ready for school then as soon as I turned the car on at the end of the day. With hearing that song and seeing his reflection in my Dad today made me realize he is always with me in heart and spirit.

Thanks for letting me journal through my grief.

Monday, November 4, 2013


Please pray for me... It is not serious but comical....We found a great deal on a new laptop today for my Dad.... Well Mom got jealous and wanted one too and they don't share nicely so we had to have 2. Sounds great......NOT FOR ME..... It is Windows Operating System 8 which I know nothing about and you can guess... They know nothing about either. . In the first hour, I decided to change my name, they called it so much. I went from one room to the other for hour. AHHHH!

School is out tomorrow , so I dont work. I am leaving the house and getting as far away from their questions that I can.

PLUS.... I didnt get a new laptop so I am jealous too. :)