Saturday, March 22, 2014


In case you are wondering what we are doing with the 30,000 books or more that we have from the store. Right now, most are in storage. We are clearing out one unit and storing in our church to save $280 a month. We will start on the next unit next month. It is the largest unit with Christian and Secular books.

At night, in my free time, which is very little, I put in ISBN numbers into our main site's system to see which are worth selling and storing, We have two piles, one for selling online which is over taking our house and one for garage sales which is more than we have in the house. My church has allowed us to set up a table in the back of the garage sale books. We add more when they are sold and rotate them every month. No book is over $2 and our small church has bought quite a bit of books.

We are going to a flea market in April to see how we do and will have one garage sale at the house. After that, that set of books will be donated. We have several organizations we are looking into.

You may ask, why do we take the time to sell and store books online. It is not really for the money, though it will be nice to have some because I do find a rare book here and there. It is to keep my Father's mind busy. He works all the books online after I do the initial sorting. As long as it keeps him busy and I dont run out of money paying storage fees, we will continue.

All of this to say, if you are looking for any books, mostly used and rare, some new but not within last two years. Here is the link to our main site we sell on. At this time, it has 940 books listed but we will be adding thousands more slowly.

We sell on Marketplace Barnes and Noble and too but Abe's gives us our own little web address.

I am on ebay with a few church supply items, should you know anyone who may need some things. I am actively working on that when I get my camera fixed.

Then ebay has a site just devoted to books, music and dvds with ISBN's. We are on that too.

So , if you may wonder.... we stay pretty busy around here but today, I am taking a break. Taking my nephew to Busch Gardens. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Today was the beginning of birthday season for us. This was the sad one that we tried to make good. It is my brother's birthday.

I cried when I saw some people posting on his facebook page and what they had to say. I cried when I came home and looked at his page again.

After school, Mom and I met my sister and nephew at my brother's gravesite. I bought 4 balloons and we released them one at a time. Three flew higher and higher. Mine did not. It got stuck in the nearest tree. We waited and waited for it to break loose. It never did. I told my Mom and Sister that it was God telling us that my brother still lives in our memories and hearts here on earth. ( I typed all this without crying until now and to be down right honest. I dont want him to live in my memories and heart. I WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH WITH US! A piece of us is gone forever. It is the truth,,, I know all the spiritual answers. If I told you we were fine , I would be lying. We miss him dearly and have to move forward with our New Normal. DO we like the New but we have to get used to it.) Don't ever say that I am not honest... cause that side note is straight from the heart.

My nephew asked me if they were coming over for dinner tonight like last year. I had forgotten all about that but he didn't. My sister wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. Mom and I went to a mexican restaurant...the same chain but different location of our last lunch together before he died. Evidently, the dinner meant something to my nephew and she text me to say next year we need to have dinner to celebrate Rob's life and keep his memory alive for my nephew. So Mom and I both ordered my brother's favorite dish which was Nachos Supreme. We ate in his memory.

Just so you know this March 4 was 17 months since he left us. I still look at his picture and ask for the nightmare to end. It is still hard to realize he is gone. Ok... the tears are coming again. I want to end on a postive celebration.....

God Gave my Parents 49 years
God Gave my Sister  47 years
God Gave me 39 years
God Gave my nephew 9 years

of being Blessed with My Brother's Presence and Life.

Thank you God for that Gift.......
but I would have liked a lot more ... me being selfish .

Til we meet again.

Friday, March 14, 2014

It's empty

Have you ever tried to explain something to someone and break it down as simple as you possibly can? You try again. You do everything but give the answer. Then you finally look at the person and it dawns on you. There really is nothing up there in the space that holds the brain. I am not being ugly but truthful. It is empty, it has checked out. There is nothing there. Oh, it looks pretty but really there is nothing there. I truly had that moment today. Then I have to admit after spending my energy breaking it down that I truly had checked out and there was nothing there.

the things I could talk about

If I had the time and energy... I could tell you some stories. Things that involve me directly and things that involve me indirectly.

I cant give specifics but I was working when someone walked in late and walked past me. As he walked past me , the scent blew me away. It was not body odor. It was a familiar scent but not from me personally. It was a scent from riding the bus in high school. The kids in the back smoked some things but back then it was called by a street name and not by the medicinal name it is today. I came home one day and my mom said... what do you smell like. I said...oh , only  ________. They smoke it on the bus. Let me tell you within a few weeks of turning 16, I had a car to drive and did not have to ride that bus anymore.

So this student walked past me and I could get high too, it was that strong. I chuckled. Well, it took a few minutes for the other authoritative figure to catch on but she did. She told the guy to go spray himself down. Well, he did .... with Disinfectant Spray....Now talk about a combination! This time I could get high and kill all my germs at the same time.

Oh the life....

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


I must confess that during my second round of Griefshare Bible Study that the videos bore me. I have seen them once and the second time around, they plain bore me. I go because I enjoy the big group leader's lectures and the small group discussions.

I must confess that tonight, I took a book to read during the videos. I sat in the back and read while the video played. I did look up a few times and fake paying attention.

What was so funny.... I have the sniffles from my allergies . So everyone in front of me though I was being emotional during the video. One person even asked me when I was looking up if I needed tissues because she knows it was an emotional video.

What is also funny....I had no idea that people thought I was crying until my Mom told me at the end of the night.....

Sometimes you just need a laugh.... All those people thought I was paying attention.