Wednesday, December 10, 2014


Our Pastor has been choosing advent devotions to put in the bulletin each week. He is getting them from a devotional booklet that various members contributed to years ago. The one for this week dates back to 1992 and was written by my brother and I want to share.

The Often Forgotten Gift
John 14:14 and 26
Romans 8:26

At this time of year all of our focus is on God's gift to us, Christ Jesus. The importance of and the great sacrifice God made in giving up His only Son to save us will never be repaid in its full value.

Until the time of Jesus' return, God gave us another gift that is so often forgotten. The only mystery about this gift is why so many Christians tedn to live their lives on their own with no consideration of that power this gift could have. It is like giving a gift at Christmas to someone who is very close to you only to find out years later that this person took these gifts , put them in the closet and never opened them. The contents of these gifts could have made life incredibly easier.

It's the same concept with God's gift to us. What are we missing by not fully using the gift that He gave us? If only we would open His gift, we would find this gift would guide us in all understanding in every aspect of your life. Not just in your worship Sunday, but in our every decision that we have to make. Do you think He would count the hairs on our heads and not help us in every chore and decision we make? I don't think so.

Let's not forget one of His promises that He made to us that can only be fully appreciated after we open His gift to us. " You may ask me for anything in my Name, and I will do it." Isn't about time we unwrap the gift God gave us, the Holy Spirit and benefit walking the Spirit filled life?

Sunday, November 23, 2014


  • Thanksgiving is this week. I am in a depression. I miss my Dad, my brother and the family we used to be. The "New Normal" stinks.
  • Some days I feel guilty because I feel ok knowing they are together with Jesus.
  • Some days I am just angry with everything.
  • Some days I have great days then someone says something and that is the end of the great day.
  • Today someone asked at church....are you placing a poinsettia in the church in memory of your Dad and brother. I stood there and looked at them like why....then it hits me again ,,,they are still seems so unreal.
  • One thing I have learned is to never question God just keep on believing and having faith....that is what I do because without faith and hope there is nothing. My God is too big and powerful for nothing. I have hope in being reunited with all my loved ones one the mean time....Keeping the Faith!

Love this Christmas Cd.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Some Things

My sister surprised us on their anniversary and had requested the slide show that was presented at my parent's 50th anniversary celebration 4 years ago. We thought we would never see it again because of stupid decisions and circumstances of a certain person but my sister broke down and asked for it .Lots of tears.

My nephew and I have great conversations in the car. We were driving past the cemetery yesterday and I got a little teary eyed and shared with him that I miss my brother and my Dad, his Be-Bob. This lead into me asking him to guess what I had for dinner last night. His hint was it was Be-Bob's favorite dinner. He first guessed Eggo's, well you have to know my Dad had two Eggo's every morning for breakfast. He then guessed fish. I told him BeBob liked fish but it wasn't his favorite. Now, I have to let you in on a secret. My Dad hated catfish on pure principle that it had whiskers and he loved cats. My Mother and I love fried catfish and she can cook it wonderfully. We would never tell him we were having catfish, we would just say fish. If he was persistent, we were just as persistent at just saying fish and he would eat it. I let my nephew in on this secret about a year ago. So after I said no to the fish answer, he asked, "I think BeBob knows about your catfish secret now". I had to laugh cause I am sure he does know but at this point he didn't care anymore. He finally guessed I had a hamburger but could not guess where from. I finally told him the local What-A-Burger. He would call and say 2 all the way with no salt and they knew it was for Mr. Bob. Lots of smiles after this conversation.

We have been thinking of the 4 words to put on my Dad's marker at the cemetery. He is a veteran and the military provides his marker but with only 4 words. I thought of the perfect phrase but my Mother does not see my sense of humor. My suggestion was....LET GO MY EGGO......I still smile cause of his morning Eggo ritual......when I die tell my family to put something fun on mine. Life is too short to not be silly sometimes. The person that has pre-bought the one across from my brothers and fathers says.....What a strange journey this has been. I laugh everytime I see it .

I do have to say, it is very hard going to gravesite and seeing my brother and my fathers names there. I am so young to have lost the two most important men in my life.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


I know I have not posted in a while. I have things to type then I don't want to type.

Please pray for our family tomorrow as it is a bittersweet day.

My parents would have been married 54 years. He left us 5 weeks shy of that momentous day.

My sister and hubby celebrate their 20th anniversary tomorrow also. What a joyous occasion for them.

Tears will be shed as we remember my Dad and the love that brought me and my siblings in the world.

Smiles will be seen if only briefly of celebrating the sanctity of love and marriage that is still carrying on.

Thursday, August 7, 2014


I want to share with you the last two days but I am tired, real tired. I will tell you my Daddy was well honored and the salvation message told and heard and hopefully seeds planted.

Well, off to rest. This is the time of night reality sets in and my heart hurts. Not sleeping much at night because of my active imagination knowing he is no longer in the house as a presence to protect even though in last few years he was slow moving,

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Photo: My brothers marker. Thank you dee it is so perfect and beautiful

Some peace today when we went to identify my Dad's grave. My brother's marker had been laid. WE have waited for this for so long. I sent my former sister-in-law a thank you text. It was such a pleasant surprise and gave us such peace.


Saturday, August 2, 2014


My Daddy went to be with Jesus and my brother today. My heart breaks here . My heart rejoices he is with Jesus and my brother...what a reunion!

Friday, July 25, 2014



not much to say....a lot going on losing my ICU with septic kidney infection, possible pneumonia, low blood pressure, and cant move either leg from knee down....blessed my sister works at hospital and can see to it he has good nurses so we can go home and rest.

I have been at hospital mostly late afternoon to evening because I am keeping my nephew occupied during the day so my sister with her medical expertise can be at hospital. It may look like I don't care.... I do. My cousin reminded me are where God wants you and are gifted. I can not sit all day watching him suffer. My sister is doing what she is gifted at....medical. It works while he is in the hospital. Believe me when neither are not in the hospital, she doesn't help. It has been a long 5 weeks and not getting easier.

Please pray for strength , peace and comfort.

Sunday, July 13, 2014


Currently trying to decide and unfortunately experiencing at the same time.....

Is it harder to lose someone suddenly without warning or to lose someone slowly and watch them suffer through life?

I have experienced the first and it was awful. I am experiencing the latter and it is awful.

Today was a whoah is me day. Alot of nothing, alot of thinking, a lot of dazing. A lot of eating because thats what I do.

Tomorrow, I put on my big girl panties and not let what I am currently facing stop what I have accomplished so far with my health, I will get my act together and continue my weight battle.

Please pray for my Dad as his health is failing. He fell again today and took 3 of us to get him up. My Mom is frustrated because she cant help. Just pray.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


I have lost 5 pounds since May 21...making a total of 20 this year. I know that is not a lot but it is to me. GO ME!

Monday, June 16, 2014


Well last week was awful but all of us are on the mends.

We went out of town for a high school graduation. In the car on the way to celebrate at a restaurant, my mom complained of pain in her neck and right arm. It was so intense that I had to pull over and call 911. We thought she was having a heart attack, my sister thought a stroke and the paramedics were just casual thinking she just pulled something. Her right arm and leg went numb and essentially she was paralyzed on her right side from shoulder down. The docs were pushing for a stroke diagnosis and to give her the TPA drug for strokes because the time frame was ticking away. My sister didnt like the diagnosis because my mother was mentally fine but slow and no facial paralysis. She pushed for an MRI... The doc wanted to give the TPA and MRI but TPA first... my sister said...nope... MRI FIRST. They rushed her in for an MRI and found a hematoma on the spine. Very rare and very intense. They immediately took her to surgery. The doc and nurse said that if they had given my Mom the TPA , it would have killed her with these clots. Later I will share with you exactly how GOd was working in so many ways that weekend even prior to this situation.

My sister stayed the first two days with her then I returned for the remainder of the stay. When I came home the first two days, I brought my Dad back who proceeded to fall on the way out the car. We found out the next day that his heart defibrillator went off and he had fractured his shoulder. Double whammies!

So that was our drama this week. What was supposed to be an overnight trip turned into almost an 8 day trip.

Mom and I drove the 4 hours home Saturday and everyone is in their rightful place but in alot of pain. I am not in physical pain but an worn out from all this all week and then taking care of them.

SO please continue to pray for healing for them and strength and a peaceful spirit for me.

I promise to share the whole story at a later date.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Can it get worse


I am at my breaking point... Dad fractured shoulder last night and needs care at home but I have to leave to go be with Mom...someone has volunteered through Friday... Praise God

Sunday, June 8, 2014


My Mom needs prayer... she is in hospital, 3 hours from us and is a living miracle sister is with her.

My Dad needs prayer as to dealing with all this with my Mom with his own health issues. He has done over 9 hours travel in 2 days which is way more then he can handle with all the other stress.  He fell getting out of car tonight from weakness but has moved about since then.

Me...cause I am  here with him and am under a lot of stress.

My sister dealing with my Mom...

Saturday, May 3, 2014


I asked you a few months ago to pray for a family friend in need of a heart transplant. He passed away Thursday morning. He fought to stay here for his family for three months while awaiting his transplant. He had a setback for every progress but in the end his body wore out and he is now with Jesus.

My heart aches for this family because I know how hard death is on earth. He was like my brother in many ways.... A great Godly man gone too soon from earth but living forever in Eternity with Jesus.

My heart is heavy in worrying about my sister spiritually. This is her best friend's husband. My sister already took several steps back spiritually trying to understand and deal with my brother's death. It is my prayer that she will lean into Him and grow stronger in her faith.

God is in control even when we don't understand we have to trust his plan.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Easter Update

I posted last night about the lack of a family gathering on Easter. 

We had decided to have a Easter dinner Monday evening at my sister's house BUT my nephew had a last minute ball practice so that was put off. I had text my cousin on Friday to tell him our plans for Monday. His response was...Thanks for the information. I was like alright , I take that as a I am not coming. 

My Mom decided to go ahead and cook and take a plate to me sister and her family but my sister decided we could come and eat with just us and her hubby and son could join us later. I am collecting the final things for dinner when my cousin text...Is dinner still on? I said... Yeah! He responded...Stephen (his brother) may be coming. I was like great but knew we didn't have enough ham or potatoes. So I grabbed our frozen meatballs out of the freezer and threw some gravy in a pan. I also nuked three potatoes with butter and added them to the scalloped potatoes. We had roasted one head of cauliflower and had 6 ears of corn cut in half already. My sister had cabbage from Friday they didn't finish. I reheated that , added the potatoes to the scalloped ones and heated the meatballs while the boys drove a mile away to visit my Dad.  We had a feast of sliced ham, scalloped ( and nuked) potatoes, deviled eggs, fresh corn on the cob, cabbage, meatballs, roasted cauliflower, bread and brownies. 

See how God turned my depression around. It really made my night that my cousins decided to join us. I miss my family. I was really surprised by Stephen because he lives 40 minutes away and works 40-45 minutes away. By the time he gets off work, it is usually too far for him to travel but today, miraculously, he got off at 1:30.

Tonight was such a blessing and a treat. Thank You, Lord. 

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Spiritual High!!!

Yep, it is one of those Sundays that I am on a spiritual high. 

This is one of the first times in my life that I know where I am at this moment is in God's Will. 

I struggle every Sunday with how small our church is becoming. I know most Sundays that I am there for the few children who faithfully attend. We have been working on a creative movement song for a few months and we presented it today. They children did wonderful. I was so happy. I ran into a church member at Cracker Barrel who said that it sent chills down his spine at their presentation. I wish I could share but I don't know how to transfer from facebook to here. I am not tech savvy. 

Another situation has occurred in a long term position I am working until the end of the school year. One day in the work room, a conversation occurred with a fellow co-worker about my brother. I don't know how the conversation occurred except through God. He did not know my brother but we were in the same industry at the same time and had seen each other and done business together yet did not know each other at all years ago. We talked for a long time. I saw him a few days later and told him he had depressed me because I wanted to tell my brother all about our conversation yet I could not. He said he went home and shared everything with his wife and told me he knew our conversation was of God. The reason being , he had not stepped into church in 12 or more years. He knew God had put me into his path to work on getting back into church. A few more coincidences happened involving another coworker who ended up inviting him to Easter service at her church. I don't know if he went but I pray he went somewhere today and that it is the beginning of him renewing his life for Christ. 

I am also working with a student who could lead a life of real trouble. I have some inside information on him that should have me scared but I am not. Since this child found out I am a Christian, he says no profanity around me, he doesn't talk about getting high or smoking pot around me. I pray for him daily, he does not know that though. I really know I have been placed in his path to make a difference. I cant share my faith but I can take an interest in what he is doing and taking my time to help him improve his work. I know this is where God wants me right now. 

On to another note, it has been a depressing day. I know it is Resurrection Day and I should be so happy. My brother always cooked Easter breakfast at our church. It is hard to go to Easter breakfast and for him not to be the one in the kitchen doing what he did best. It is also hard to walk in the Fellowship hall to these spring flower arrangements.....That we donated after his wedding reception. My brother is all over that church. Most Sundays I am ok but then Easter Sunday hurts. BUT I have hope in Christ, who died and rose again for me and my sins and you and your sins. All you have to do is accept him as your Savior and you can live in Heaven with Christ. I know that is where my brother is, I know he loved Jesus. I know I will see him again but sometimes humanness smacks me in the face. I can have a spiritual high and  a human low at the same time. 

I was also depressed because this is the first major holiday that we did not have any kind of family gathering because my sister had to work. Life is hard sometimes. I did not realize things would change so drastically when my brother died, but they have. I went to Easter breakfast and church then Mom and I went to a movie, dropped off Easter for my nephew , then went to Cracker Barrel. We made the best of it. 

Speaking of Heaven and movies.... I think you know where this is going.....HEAVEN IS FOR REAL....It is . I cried and I smiled. My honest opinion is it was great. My other honest opinion.....They missed the ball on the salvation message that they had such an opportunity to reach so many people. They talked about Jesus, they talked about Heaven but they never truly told you how to get to Heaven.There is only one way....FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST...Accepting him as your Savior...plain and simple. They went all around it....don't be shy....put it out there. My third honest was a movie about Heaven and that it truly was. It was not about Hell or Salvation but about Heaven but I still think they blew a huge opportunity to present the Gospel....Of course, only my opinion.

Ok, I am done.......Don't forget.....GOD IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Official God's Not Dead (Like A Lion) Lyric Video

God's Not Dead!!!!!!!!!

In my struggles with grief, I sometimes have questioned my faith. It is natural. I always come back to the fact it is God that has pulled me through.

Today is my 41st birthday, not a day goes by I don't think about my brother and long to see him again. Because of my faith in Jesus Christ and my brother's faith I will see him again one day. We ate out tonight and we had a good time but I must admit that several times in the evening my thoughts go to the one person missing, my brother but this is our NEW NORMAL.

For my birthday, I went and saw the movie, GOD'S NOT DEAD! It is what I needed for a spiritual renewal for me. GO SEE IT!

I love Newsboy's song , "GOD'S NOT DEAD!"


God is our hope when we feel hopeless. He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for all of us. I mean the nails pierced his hands just so we can choose to accept him and live eternally in Heaven. WOW! What love!

Saturday, March 22, 2014


In case you are wondering what we are doing with the 30,000 books or more that we have from the store. Right now, most are in storage. We are clearing out one unit and storing in our church to save $280 a month. We will start on the next unit next month. It is the largest unit with Christian and Secular books.

At night, in my free time, which is very little, I put in ISBN numbers into our main site's system to see which are worth selling and storing, We have two piles, one for selling online which is over taking our house and one for garage sales which is more than we have in the house. My church has allowed us to set up a table in the back of the garage sale books. We add more when they are sold and rotate them every month. No book is over $2 and our small church has bought quite a bit of books.

We are going to a flea market in April to see how we do and will have one garage sale at the house. After that, that set of books will be donated. We have several organizations we are looking into.

You may ask, why do we take the time to sell and store books online. It is not really for the money, though it will be nice to have some because I do find a rare book here and there. It is to keep my Father's mind busy. He works all the books online after I do the initial sorting. As long as it keeps him busy and I dont run out of money paying storage fees, we will continue.

All of this to say, if you are looking for any books, mostly used and rare, some new but not within last two years. Here is the link to our main site we sell on. At this time, it has 940 books listed but we will be adding thousands more slowly.

We sell on Marketplace Barnes and Noble and too but Abe's gives us our own little web address.

I am on ebay with a few church supply items, should you know anyone who may need some things. I am actively working on that when I get my camera fixed.

Then ebay has a site just devoted to books, music and dvds with ISBN's. We are on that too.

So , if you may wonder.... we stay pretty busy around here but today, I am taking a break. Taking my nephew to Busch Gardens. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Today was the beginning of birthday season for us. This was the sad one that we tried to make good. It is my brother's birthday.

I cried when I saw some people posting on his facebook page and what they had to say. I cried when I came home and looked at his page again.

After school, Mom and I met my sister and nephew at my brother's gravesite. I bought 4 balloons and we released them one at a time. Three flew higher and higher. Mine did not. It got stuck in the nearest tree. We waited and waited for it to break loose. It never did. I told my Mom and Sister that it was God telling us that my brother still lives in our memories and hearts here on earth. ( I typed all this without crying until now and to be down right honest. I dont want him to live in my memories and heart. I WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH WITH US! A piece of us is gone forever. It is the truth,,, I know all the spiritual answers. If I told you we were fine , I would be lying. We miss him dearly and have to move forward with our New Normal. DO we like the New but we have to get used to it.) Don't ever say that I am not honest... cause that side note is straight from the heart.

My nephew asked me if they were coming over for dinner tonight like last year. I had forgotten all about that but he didn't. My sister wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. Mom and I went to a mexican restaurant...the same chain but different location of our last lunch together before he died. Evidently, the dinner meant something to my nephew and she text me to say next year we need to have dinner to celebrate Rob's life and keep his memory alive for my nephew. So Mom and I both ordered my brother's favorite dish which was Nachos Supreme. We ate in his memory.

Just so you know this March 4 was 17 months since he left us. I still look at his picture and ask for the nightmare to end. It is still hard to realize he is gone. Ok... the tears are coming again. I want to end on a postive celebration.....

God Gave my Parents 49 years
God Gave my Sister  47 years
God Gave me 39 years
God Gave my nephew 9 years

of being Blessed with My Brother's Presence and Life.

Thank you God for that Gift.......
but I would have liked a lot more ... me being selfish .

Til we meet again.

Friday, March 14, 2014

It's empty

Have you ever tried to explain something to someone and break it down as simple as you possibly can? You try again. You do everything but give the answer. Then you finally look at the person and it dawns on you. There really is nothing up there in the space that holds the brain. I am not being ugly but truthful. It is empty, it has checked out. There is nothing there. Oh, it looks pretty but really there is nothing there. I truly had that moment today. Then I have to admit after spending my energy breaking it down that I truly had checked out and there was nothing there.

the things I could talk about

If I had the time and energy... I could tell you some stories. Things that involve me directly and things that involve me indirectly.

I cant give specifics but I was working when someone walked in late and walked past me. As he walked past me , the scent blew me away. It was not body odor. It was a familiar scent but not from me personally. It was a scent from riding the bus in high school. The kids in the back smoked some things but back then it was called by a street name and not by the medicinal name it is today. I came home one day and my mom said... what do you smell like. I said...oh , only  ________. They smoke it on the bus. Let me tell you within a few weeks of turning 16, I had a car to drive and did not have to ride that bus anymore.

So this student walked past me and I could get high too, it was that strong. I chuckled. Well, it took a few minutes for the other authoritative figure to catch on but she did. She told the guy to go spray himself down. Well, he did .... with Disinfectant Spray....Now talk about a combination! This time I could get high and kill all my germs at the same time.

Oh the life....

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


I must confess that during my second round of Griefshare Bible Study that the videos bore me. I have seen them once and the second time around, they plain bore me. I go because I enjoy the big group leader's lectures and the small group discussions.

I must confess that tonight, I took a book to read during the videos. I sat in the back and read while the video played. I did look up a few times and fake paying attention.

What was so funny.... I have the sniffles from my allergies . So everyone in front of me though I was being emotional during the video. One person even asked me when I was looking up if I needed tissues because she knows it was an emotional video.

What is also funny....I had no idea that people thought I was crying until my Mom told me at the end of the night.....

Sometimes you just need a laugh.... All those people thought I was paying attention.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Getting healthy

I am trying to take control of my body again. My diabetic meds have been increased because my blood sugar levels are everywhere.

January 3 was the last time I had a soda of my own. I will confess I have had a few sips of my nephew's soda but only a few sips and literally sips. This is getting easier because now that I am not drinking soda, he chooses non-carbonated beverages too. Tonight during the Super Bowl, I ate some chips. Oh boy,, did I want a soda but I continued to drink water.

I am working on just a few things at a time. My first was sodas and increasing my exercise. I joined the Y a few weeks ago and am taking advantage of it. It has not been that hard because I have not been on a regular schedule in a few weeks thanks to the weather and school being out for road conditions and teacher workdays. I have one day in the next two week pay period... That is going to hurt. In the mean time I went to the Y almost everyday that the roads would allow it. I actually feel bad and guilty if I dont get at least a 30 minute workout in now.

The month if January my fitness minutes were 510. That was not bad considering I did not start until week 2 of January and the wonderful snow we have had the past two weeks. That 510 minutes is just cardio. It does not count any strength training which I try to do 5-15 minutes after my cardio,

Tomorrow I get bloodwork drawn to find out if my numbers have dropped for January... I hope so.


  • Super Bowl makes me miss my brother. So many memories of watching together. I used to think it was ok to talk during commercials. I learned real quick from him that you did not talk whatsoever during the Super Bowl.
  • Speaking of Super Bowl. I remember traveling twice on Super Bowl Sunday. Once was to Indianapolis for a convention. My brother said that he did not care if he missed it because his team was not playing. We made it there in the late afternoon, At dinner time we were ready to go to the Steak and Shake and we were waiting on him to get ready. We waited and waited and waited. He finally said, bring me something back because I am watching the Super Bowl. He sent two women out in Indianapolis in the cold to fend for their selves.... It was right across the street from our hotel. LOL! 
  • Speaking of Super Bowl traveling 2..... We were in Nashville for another convention.I had bought tickets to the Grand Ole Opry earlier in the week for Friday night, leaving us to travel on Saturday and be back home on Sunday.. NOT! A blizzard was coming through....literally. Everyone recommended we head home BUT I had bought tickets for the Grand Ole Opry and I was going daggoneit. So we went. It was great. Then we headed home Saturday and at first had no problems until about 4 when literally our wipers froze while wiping. It was time to pull off for the night plus a jackknifed tractor trailer was blocking the road. So we stopped at the only hotel and ate Subway. We started off the next day to another wrecked tractor trailer. We sat for hours. That did not stop my brother from being home to watch the Super Bowl. He sped the rest of the way home and we made it home with 15 minutes to spare. 
  • Speaking of traveling... for another convention in Kentucky we drove. He made the mistake of falling asleep after telling us to stay straight on that road. He had not told us to stay straight on 64 so when the road kept straight, my Mom kept straight. He woke up about an hour later wondering where we were and how we got there. Taught him a lesson. We were on a 2 hour detour and it was the first time I had even been through a tunnel in a mountain. I did not know tunnels went through mountains, only in water for my life. 
So many memories tonight flashing back... all because of Super Bowl. I miss him so much. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014


My friend of the family, Carl, is holding his own right now. He is still critical. He was placed on the heart transplant list but has been taken off because of a lung infection. Today they are going to move him around some so hoping and praying that will move some of this stuff out of the lungs. Please continue to pray for him.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Continue praying

Family friend is still not doing well. Please continue to pray.

So many things similar to my brother and is causing a lot of flashbacks for me.

The next 2 days are very critical.

Monday, January 27, 2014


I have a family friend who needs prayer tonight. My heart is heavy. He had a heart attack today and things are looking bleak. Please pray for Carl.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Prayer Request

Pray for my Dad... just hasnt been doing well since the last incident just before Christmas. I cant explain the details. I can just say....lift him and our family in prayer.

God Meeting

Upon my brother's death, there was one particular salesman that meant a lot to us that I wanted to contact. I could not find anything with his name on it and I knew he had left the company he had previously worked for. I googled him but came up with no one person. I knew this person would want to know. I had thought about him several times in the last 14 months wondering if he had ever found out.I knew he lived in NC and it was within 3 hours of where we live but still nothing.

December 30, I am at Busch Garden's Christmas Town with my cousin and meeting some friends also. My Mom says, Becky look up. I look up and see no one I know. She said look over there at the popcorn stand. Lo and Behold, it was our old salesman, he is not old though. He left his family and came up to us and was talking. I finally looked at him and said, "Steve, you do know about Rob?" He looked dumbfounded and said, "What about Rob?". I said , "He is in Heaven." He asked what did you say. I repeated it. He sat there with his mouth opened. Then he started asking the hows and whys. He asked why we did not contact his old company... I just did not think about that. He said that he would have driven in for Rob's funeral and was remorseful that he did not know.

Why is that such a God meeting? I had tried to find him several times, no success. We live just 45 minutes from this amusement park. He lives over 3 hours away, What are the chances we were there on the same night at the same time and run into him?.....God Meeting.

He also took our information to contact someone who may be interested in buying our stock in storage. That would be a huge God Meeting... I am praying.


FREE SPIRIT.....That is what I was referred to this evening. I never really have considered myself a free spirit but I guess I am. 

I don't like to plan things. Well, there are some things that have to be planned and I do plan those things. I have to plan traveling. I have to plan Sunday School lessons. You plan weddings, showers and birthday parties. I had to plan when to take my classes for college which were not classes for 6-8 years. I do not like planning to do anything at night anymore. I went to school from 5:30-10 most nights for 6-8 years. I am burnt out on knowing I had to be somewhere at certain times for so long. 

I don't like making plans and having to cancel for various reasons. I get disappointed in not being able to do something I planned because something came up to prevent it. This could be family problems, medical issues and etc. This happens a lot. 

It can be something I really want to do but me dedicating to it up until the day it happens is hard for me to do. It can be a one night meeting. I will spend the whole day dreading going to that meeting. It can be a Bible study I love but knowing it is every Wednesday night for so many weeks just puts a damper on it for me. 

I don't like rushing to do this to get to that. I don't like leaving something I am enjoying to go to something else I committed to. 

I know all this sounds crazy to some that have to plan everything. I have always said that I go with the flow but free spirit fits. 

I may wake up and decide to go to a movie, a local amusement park, the beach, shopping, you just never know. 

I may have eaten dinner and remember a free concert I wanted to see is in an hour and go. Thats me... go with the flow. 

Free Spirit Becky...if the mood fits I will go. It may be out of my comfort zone but if it strikes, I will go. If you call me at last minute and ask to go somewhere, I will probably go. If you call and make plans. I will tell you sure but my life changes at any given second and things could change. My friends have learned to adjust and accept. They know I will probably be there but they also know the circumstances in my life could change at any minute , like the wind.