Things that make you go hmmh....

Things that make you go hmmhh.... I have been going through another slump in life again. Still wondering why evil seems to outweigh good. Still wondering when my day will come to land a job and start my teaching career. In the mean time, I was watching television and heard two things that made me laugh and think....HMMMH!

• Cell phone company announces that in a certain local area their service is down. Well, ok so no cell phones for a few. It is not convenient but it could be worse. Yep, you could need to dial 911 and not be able to. The news recommended that if you have an emergency situation and only have cell phone ability with this carrier that you drive to your nearest fire station. I know it is not funny but it was to me. So if I fall and can't get up, I have to get up and make my way to the fire station. If someone is breaking into your home then you should tell them to wait so that you can go to the fire station and get help. Maybe I am weird but I found this hysterical. I pray no one truly needs 911 during this time.


• The next thing was a local but national animal rights organization is running a new campaign. You can register to win a free vasectomy if you have your animal spayed or neutered. Oh come on. Is that something you really want an animal rights organization to do for you? I know they wont physically do it but but but..... If it were my husband if I had a husband, I would not want him winning nor relying on them for such a procedure. They need to stick to a spay or neutering animals campaign and not humans. On another note , I know many of human who needs the procedure.... Did I say that?

Sorry if you don't find this the least bit funny but I guess it takes very little to make me laugh right now. If you could really read my mind somedays , you would take off running. Scary, scary.

Saw this on a status on facebook today and had to share.

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our body. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief..., look how smart I am!" Must be where the term "Smart A$$" came from.

I am not fat , I am educated beyond my means.

Dam or Damn

I picked my nephew up from school yesterday when he discovered some kids book in my car with the words "mad scientist" on it. Well smartypants is learning to read and decided that he found out that mad spelled backwards is dam. He thought he was bad with his new word. I explained to him that dam is a word and it is what beavers make in a river or stream to stop the water. I also explained to him that we really should not go around saying dam because it is also means a bad word when we put a n on it. One may ask, how does he know that word anyways.....Well you can blame his Nanny because this summer she hit the fence and was mad and used the one with the N on it. He repeated it and received a lecture. Also his Nanny and Bebob were having a heated argument one day when I took him outside in the rain so he would not hear it but munchkin was listening through the storm door when his Nanny said it in anger again. In her defense, that is the worse word she knows and it only comes out when she is mad. I found out later that his mommy uses it too in a fit of anger. SHHH!

On with the story, so he sits in the back seat saying...Oh Dam, Oh Dam, Dam. I turned around and told him that we do not say that word and he knows that and that I was just trying to explain the difference because he is so smart now. He looked at me with a straight face and informed me that he was not saying the Dam with the n on it but the beaver dam. I thought I was going to bend over laughing but I kept a straight face and gave a stern lecture. He may be smart but not smart enough for me to explain the context of what he was saying. He just thought he was getting away with a bad word.

Ohh to get in the mind of a child.

This reminded me of a story of me as a child in church. I was questioning the use of the word a$$. I did not understand why it was in the Bible but I could not say it. I just did not understand. My dad tried to explain to me that the use of it in the bible as another name for a donkey. ( He used the word in his sentences, though) Then he explained that it is a derogatory word now in today's society.
Well the next week in Wednesday night church, the subject was things we want God to forgive us of or others of. Well my mind was going. I knew my dad had used that word to explain to me the difference in context. In my mind I knew he had said the bad word. I wrote on my paper that my dad needed to be forgiven for bad words. The next day I was telling my mom all about Wednesday night church and forgiveness and I told her that I wrote my Dad's name down for saying the A word when he talked to me about it. I also told her the leaders were going to post them in the foyer so the church can see we are learning and asking for forgiveness. She about went through the roof. Needless to say a few phone calls later and my forgiveness poster was intercepted. I was still clueless as to why she was so upset that I had written for the whole church to see that my daddy needed forgiveness for saying bad words. I was being oh so honest on my forgiveness project.

Some Thursday Laughter.

First off this afternoon I am taking a very hard literacy test that is four hours long which will decide on what the next chapter of my career life may hold.

This morning my mother went to Wal-Mart to order a party tray of chicken for a rehearsal dinner I am catering tomorrow. She came back with Wal-Mart chicken tenders, fried okra and potato wedges. Aside from being fattening, it really was a bad choice for me on a test day. Okra has a way of working through my body real fast , if you know what I mean. Sorry to get personal. So I only ate a few knowing in just a few hours I will be in a room for four hours testing. My mom said, " it can't work that fast." Hmmh, I know better.

All this salt and fried food , I wanted more than water. I walked down to Dollar General and was trying not to get a carbonated soda. I picked the Dragonfruit Vitamin Water. I came back drank a bit and then decided to research exactly what dragonfruit was. So ok , it is the fruit of the cactus species. Well ok, I kept reading and this is what wikipedia said.."In Mauritius, it is known as "Débousse-to-fesse" because of its laxative properties."
WHAT!!! That is the last thing I need right now.

Needless to say the vitamin water is now in the refrigerator for another day and I am drinking water. Whooh! I am glad I did some research.

Now pray for me this afternoon to do the best that I can and that I have no unplanned interruptions during the four hours.

A funny thing happened....

A funny thing happened at lunch today with my nephew at school. Between my sister and I we meet him everyday for lunch at school. ( Yes, he is spoiled but he is still adjusting to how long the school day is so we meet him for lunch and it breaks up his day. )Anyways, I go on the day she works. I understood that she was working a half-day today and would not be at lunch so I went. Much to my surprise , she showed up too.

This was very confusing to his fellow kindergarten friends. See my sister and I look alike so everyday they thought we were the same person. One kid, Tyrone, would always say, "Cameron, your mom is here." I would respond, " I am his aunt." The other days it really was his mom. When Tyrone sat down he looked at us and said.." Cameron, do you have two mommies?" My sister and I just laughed. Oh my the rumors will fly soon. We did try to explain to him that I was the aunt and his Mommy's sister but was he listening was the question.

This is the same class that last week one of the little boy's told my sister that his daddy was going to be mad at him. She asked why.He proceeded to tell her that he was going to tell his mommy that his daddy slept with another woman last night. Remember these are kindergartners.

Oh the odes of public school. Sad to say though, private school may not be any different.