Things that make you go hmmh....

Things that make you go hmmhh.... I have been going through another slump in life again. Still wondering why evil seems to outweigh good. Still wondering when my day will come to land a job and start my teaching career. In the mean time, I was watching television and heard two things that made me laugh and think....HMMMH!

• Cell phone company announces that in a certain local area their service is down. Well, ok so no cell phones for a few. It is not convenient but it could be worse. Yep, you could need to dial 911 and not be able to. The news recommended that if you have an emergency situation and only have cell phone ability with this carrier that you drive to your nearest fire station. I know it is not funny but it was to me. So if I fall and can't get up, I have to get up and make my way to the fire station. If someone is breaking into your home then you should tell them to wait so that you can go to the fire station and get help. Maybe I am weird but I found this hysterical. I pray no one truly needs 911 during this time.


• The next thing was a local but national animal rights organization is running a new campaign. You can register to win a free vasectomy if you have your animal spayed or neutered. Oh come on. Is that something you really want an animal rights organization to do for you? I know they wont physically do it but but but..... If it were my husband if I had a husband, I would not want him winning nor relying on them for such a procedure. They need to stick to a spay or neutering animals campaign and not humans. On another note , I know many of human who needs the procedure.... Did I say that?

Sorry if you don't find this the least bit funny but I guess it takes very little to make me laugh right now. If you could really read my mind somedays , you would take off running. Scary, scary.

The latest name....

The latest thing that I was called by a high school student...... A BEACHED WHALE.

Yeppers I heard him in the hallway say...." Dang, We got a beached whale in our classroom today."

If I said it didn't hurt I would be lying. I go weeks with no remarks and then there is that one fool that runs his mouth.


By the way, my lunches are still a problem but for the last two days I have pre-made a breakfast burrito and am able to microwave, eat and drive. It has been pretty tasty too.

Wheat tortilla, little shredded cheese, two eggs scrambled with mushrooms then a little salsa. Yummy!

I am struggling...

I am struggling with some things with my healthy lifestyle adjustments.

I am upset that for the last two weeks I have lost nothing.

I am burnt out on my breakfasts. I like a certain bread that Costco sells but can not always get to Costco to buy it. Costco is on the other end of town. I have tried other breads when I am out . Usually I will skip breakfast even if I make a sandwich out of another bread. Later in the day it becomes birdfood. I know that is wasteful but I just like that certain bread. I have to have something easy for breakfast that I can just grab out of my bag and eat in the car. I enjoy a peanut butter sandwich every day. I leave too early most days to fix something. The kitchen is also off of my Dad's room so I can not do too much messing around at that time in the morning because he is sleeping. I am just frustrated.

As for lunch, I am just as frustrated. I stopped eating school lunches because most of the time they are not worth the $2.75 I pay for them. That is sad. My dilemma is I am not always able to get to a microwave. Some days I can. I try to find lunches that when I am at certain schools that are good and do not need to be microwaved. Most of the time I resort to cold pizza or pasta salad. That is old now. I need a change. When I know I am a school with microwave access I have no problem. When I worked at the bookstore, I never worried about lunches. I knew I would have some vegetables from the chinese restaurant or Subway. I miss these options. I enjoy veggies for lunch but my options are few and far between.

HELP! Any suggestions.

I feel like a celebrity...

I do feel just like a celebrity when I go out in public these days.

It only goes to show you that you are being watched and you need to watch your actions.

You see everywhere I go now, someone knows me from being a substitute teacher or from our bookstore. I used to roll my eyes when we went out anywhere and everywhere and someone knew my mother...even in a hotel lobby in Louisiana. Now it has switched and some child knows me somewhere and every where. I know now not to show myself out in public.

Today I went to Busch Gardens for passmember preview day. Well I could give a rant in itself on that but the new owners of BG are not honoring some things from old owners of BG and somehow twisted it to look like it was our fault. Like I said, a whole different post on that.

I was standing in line to take the tram. This girl points at me and starts waving. Then she asks if I remember her. I hate this question because I see 80-90 different students a day if I am in middle or high school . Then I am usually a different teacher 5 days a week. Multiply this out... that is how many students I may see in a week. Sure honey, I remember you. I do remember most of the faces but not names. I smiled and just asked which school she went to and shook my head like oh yeah I remember you. This not only happens at BG, it happens in stores and restaurants.

Later in the day , I was walking with my nephew, my great friend , her son and her parents when a girl about 13 suddenly walks up to me like she has known me forever. I slightly recognized her but she remembered me. She was scared because her Dad was supposed to meet her at 5:30 at that spot and it was 5:40 and she could not find him. I was flabbergasted. My friend didn't know I had been stopped and she is walking ahead with her family and my nephew. I could not leave the poor girl stranded. I walked with her to the nearest concession stand in which the supervisor was there with a walkie-talkie. I asked him to help and he took over. I was torn between losing my party which included my nephew whom I was in charge of at the time and helping this little girl. ( NOTE: I am getting so old that I consider a 13 year old to be a little girl.) I stayed for a moment and made sure the girls were being cared for then caught up with my party.

On our way home, we exited the interstate and stopped at a stoplight near a local mall. Two teenagers were crossing the street right in front of my car. Once again, it was one of my students from a high school. He recognized me first and started waving to me. I waved back. I did know him because I frequent this high school and he is classified as a "runner". Nice kid but he will weedle a pass out of you for anything then he roams the halls for 30-40 minutes before returning but he always gets the pass because he is such a nice kid and negotiator.

Wow, I feel like I could not get away with anything anymore without someone seeing me somewhere.

So, I will be giving autographs out on Fridays at 3Pm for a fee of $5 a piece. At this rate I should have at least one fool. LOL!

Family drama update

Had a family situation today in which we all had to be together briefly. It was my great-aunt's 92nd birthday. For the sake of her, we put our differences aside and all showed up.

My mom's sister put on the biggest show. This celebration was not for her it was for their aunt. She came up and hugged my Dad and stated she has missed him and has not seen him in so long especially with all he has been through medically. Also said she was surprised he was able to come. She then came up and hugged me. I just rolled my eyes. She said that she never sees me anymore. Well Duh, I am over her abuse. Man, she put on the show. Even came back up to me later to tell me how much my grandfather LOVES me and I am the smartest woman he knows. He may have said all this, but I don't trust anything she says,ever.

I was thinking later. She probably was real happy because she brought my grandfather and she was in control of him and everything he does now. She is in her glory being in control.

I was appalled at her excitement over my Dad after the heck she has put him through and the accusations. It was unbelievable. Some of you may think she is turning a corner. Oh no, she was an actor because tomorrow she will be back to her old ways again when she does not have an audience.

As for my grandfather, he has told my mom fifty million times that he will make peace with my brother when he apologizes to him. He has nothing to apologize about. He saw him for the first time today since the pow-wow in October. He looked at him and said that he was not mad at my brother. Oh, he is not mad but he turned all the pictures of my brother and his wife backwards in his house. My sister went up to him and he was cold to her. He still thinks she is behind social services and was trying to put him in a home. She was not trying to put him in a home but trying to get him cared for.

As for the new member of the family, my mom's sister's husband. He just eggs all this on. He is the reason my grandfather is mad with my sister and was mad with my brother. He tells my grandfather all sorts of lies about what they are trying to do. They are doing nothing. Since this man is always buying my grandfather something he believes everything he says. My grandfather is always bought and will always be bought. Whoever buys him the most gets his respect.

This past week, my grandfather confessed that he went to a lawyer with my mom's sister. He says he does not remember what he had done but he knows she manipulated something when he was not in his right mind. He says he does remember 5 witnesses coming in the room. None of which he knew. All five testified that they knew my grandfather and knew he was in his right mind at the time of the change of the will. He swears he did not know any of them.

So as for the drama in my life, it really has not changed. My mom still checks on him at least once a day, five days a week. She has it thrown in her face every few days that she may go up five days a week but she only stays about an hour or so but when her sister comes up just 2 days that she stays for several hours. Of course, this comes from her sister. Every time my mom reminds her that the last year of my grandmother's life that either her or my Dad were there 24 hours a day. The response from her sister... That was then and this is now. So then my mom says, WHATEVER! Then she does what she can and what she cant she doesn't with no shame or guilt.

But really , you should have seen the acting today. She could win an Academy Award.

Disappointed...

I walked more this week. I cut out my high sugar sodas. I was really psyched for a loss but unfortunately it was a .4 gain. I was upset but not going to let it bother me. I am trekking on and hoping for better results next week.

BEWARE

BEWARE.....

Beware of buying gift cards for other places at gas stations and big box stores. It is always best to buy it directly from the source.

You have seen the displays at Wally World, convenience stores, and other places selling gift cards to restaurants. Beware because the cashiers do not always activate the cards. That happened to me tonight. I did not have the receipt because it was given to my parents for their anniversary. I went to Panera with one of their gift cards to bring dinner home from them. I did not know it was not a card Panera sells but a gas station sells for Panera. The card would not go through. The manager came out and made a few phone calls and found out it was never activated by the store that it was purchased. I was so embarrassed.

The manager was soooo nice. He could tell I guess by me reaction that I was really flabbergasted. He gave me the meals for free. I felt horrible and offered to pay for them with cash but he refused. I was also nervous because the cashier had said my check card was denied and I knew it could not have been denied. I did find out she had not worked the transaction right and was processing my check card as a gift card.

I felt embarrassed and awful about leaving with food that I did not pay for but I did offer. I told the manager that if we got the card situation straightened out I would bring it back in to him. I hope he does not think I stole that gift card I would never do that. I still feel like I stiffed them out of two sandwiches but I did offer to pay and did have cash to pay for it but knew the gift card would cover it.

All this writing to warn you to either not buy the giftcards at those stands or to make 100% sure the cashier activates it because I know you would not want your recipient to go through what I went through and be so embarrassed.

Kudos to Brian at Panera though for being so nice.

Odds and Ends...

Some odds and ends...

• I have almost kicked my soda habit. This week I have had two half cans of Pepsi and a can of Sprite. I am used to a soda a day if not two cans.
• I have been drinking sweet tea. I like the taste of tea with just a little sugar, so unlike a typical Southerner that likes a little tea with their sugar. Oh, I know what you are thinking... It is no different than soda. But it is... I use less than 1/4 cup of sugar per pitcher. I like the taste of tea with just a little sugar. That is only 4 tablespoons per pitcher and I was drinking half of that in one soda. I USUALLY share the pitcher of tea with the family.
• I am burnt out with working with the children at church. I love them. I love my Sunday School class too but since the first of the year I have had to do children's church also every Sunday but 1 . That is prepping for my small Sunday school class and then prepping something for 10-12 kids at all age levels during church time too. My co-worker has been sick ALOT this year. We are usually on an every other week rotation, but that has not happened. I am tired and out of ideas. I cant do videos but so many weeks. I do my lesson and activities on my week but when I have to do her week too I have a habit of finding a movie but I am running out of movies.
• I am still walking at least a mile a day 5-6 days a week. Some days more. Yesterday my outdoor cat followed me along with another cat I feed when his owners kick him out. I tried to get a picture but they were walking too fast.

That is it for now for this post.... I am supposed to weigh tomorrow but hate weigh-in days. I am afraid of a disappointment because I have been working so hard.

Sometimes answers are clear....

Sometimes the answers are clear from God then sometimes they are very hazy.

Someone in our church has started a Women's Bible Study on Tuesday nights. I participated in the one on Ruth and thoroughly enjoyed it. The worst part was the drive to her house. She lives 30 minutes from me on a good day. She chose the book of Revelations. Studying end times does not excite me at all at this time in my life. The other side of me wanted to go for the fellowship and support with other women in the church. I have struggled with this for weeks. Today was the first meeting and as of 4 PM , I was still struggling.

Why was I struggling so much?

• Because of Revelations,for one.

• I watch my nephew after school on Tuesdays, it is 5:30 sometimes before I get home and then I cook dinner. I knew on nights like this I could utilize the crockpot. That still only gave me 30 minutes of rest and dinner before my 30 minute drive. Most days I will have left the house by 6:30 AM also.

• I also have been struggling with things at church. I love my church but in my heart it is time to make a change. I am tired of some things and ready to move on. I love my church though. Make sense.

• I love the women taking the study but really had thoughts of whether I am taking it to not let them down or to truly study the Bible.

• I already prep a Sunday School lesson and children's church activities every week for our kids at church. I love those kids. I dont know if I could add another study on top of my other things to my list right now.

I made the decision today on my walk. My walk which was awesome. I did 2 miles in 36 minutes which is great for me. I listened to my newly synched IPOD with all scripture and Praise and Worship songs. It was me and God time. I decided that on the Tuesdays I did not have my nephew that I would attend the study. After all, I was supposed to have him today but his Dad stayed home sick and I did not have him after all. What a sign from God, right. In my mind, I made the decision to go but my heart was still heavy not really wanting to participate. As I kept walking I kept praying about some things in my life. A lot of things, my health, singleness, church, family. I was back to being wishy-washy again. I felt the Lord telling me that I needed to work on things with me including my health. See that has become my time with God. It was like he was telling not to take on anything more right now because I can not handle it. I then decided I was not going to participate. I know that sounds bad from a Christian perspective. I was relieved. I made a decision to concentrate on getting healthy and using my walking time to concentrate on praying and praising. I was satisfied with my answer then it was confirmed. My phone rang, it was my nephew. He wanted to go to baseball practice from 5-6:15 and did not have a ride because his Dad was sick and MOm was at work. He knows who to call and to count on. I then got in my car and took him to baseball practice. I knew then I could not go to the Bible Study and God had made it clear. I will miss the socialization of it but not the hustle and bustle of having to get there. I did realize I would be participating only to not disappoint the other women but knew if I started and didn't complete it, I would disappoint myself.

Another women's Bible Study has started at a local coffee shop on Mondays. I am seriously considering joining that one. It is closer. It is also on Mondays not Tuesdays which are easier. It is also not on Revelations. It also is more of a praise and church time which I am missing out on in my church because of working with the children.

I feel like I should feel bad for not participating in my church's Women's Bible Study but I don't. Is that bad?

I lost an arm....

I lost an arm.... and a leg at the gas station today. It should not be $40 to fill up a compact car. A compact car that is all mine, I must remind you . I received the title for it on Saturday. Good thing because with the price of gas I needed that extra money this month.

I lost something else these last two weeks......9 pounds. YAYYYYY!

Why walk a dog?

Why walk a dog?......When you can walk a cat.

I have been trying to walk at least a mile a day for the last few weeks. Some days I succeed and some days I fail. I have tracked an even one mile walk from my driveway down 2.5 blocks, across one and down three winding up at the other end of my street. I have walked this a few times by myself.

Saturday I made the mistake of walking near dinner time for my outdoor cat which means she was out and about and not sleeping somewhere. I cant call her a stray anymore because she is mine. I feed her and care for her. She decided to follow me. She usually on a normal day stays between my house and the two houses beside me and never crosses the street. She followed me all the way to the end of the block. I was very concerned because I would cross two busy streets and she would have to too. Then if she got lost I would worry. She was very skiddish too at this point. Thankfully this day some of the teenagers in the neighborhood were gathered on a porch and she decided to go get some attention. I told them I would be walking and just to shoo her on back down to my end in a few. They said they would and were delighted to pet her. She mosied her way on back home within 45 minutes.

This evening my Mom and I set out to walk. I was smart this time and fed her so she would be distracted. It did not work. She followed us all the way to the end of the block. The worry in me would not allow myself to go any further. I calculated how many times I would have to walk my own block to make up this route. It would be three times up and back. This cat followed me the entire walk. She kept up with me. She did not complain until the last trip. She then slowed down and would wail if I got too far ahead of her. It was so funny watching her and if any of the neighbors were watching, I am sure they were amused too. I even had to wait on her twice as she did what a dog would do on its walk, potty breaks. When we returned to the house , she went straight to the outdoor faucet and waited for me to give her fresh water. Who needs a dog?

I have been wanting a dog just for walking but did not want give all the care for a dog right now. I guess God answered my prayer. He gave me a walking cat.

I need to take a picture next time.