It was good

I tried to make poached salmon for the first time this evening. I succeeded in making poached salmon this evening. It was ummh-ummh good. It was oh so moist. It was oh so tasty. I want some more.

I am not a recipe follower. I looked at one and thought, Ok what can I do. This is what I did. I sauteed a few green onions with garlic and olive oil. Then I added enough water to cover an inch of the pan. I added some Old Bay, butter and some salmon seasonings we already had. Let it come to a boil then placed my big piece of salmon in the pan. I put a few of the fresh green onions on top and some Old Bay. Let it boil then cover it for about 12-15 minutes. I had a big piece of salmon, you can adjust this by just uncovering and check to see if the salmon flakes.

I will never bake or broil salmon again. I may never grill it again either. This was that good.

Observing....

This evening my nephew came over and was visiting at my house. He was on the computer playing games and I was observing him. He is such an awesome child. He has his days, he has his weeks but he is still awesome.

I was thinking of the life he may have had if he was not placed in this family. The thought that he would be with a no-good mother went through my mind. She has three other children that she does not have custody. Then I thought that it was mean of me to think of her being no-good. She was a good mother. She knew she could not care for him and gave him away to a family that could. In my mind, that is the way it is. I don't want to hear other wise. I don't want to ever hear that the real reason she gave him up was because she was all about her. Well, even if she was she knew with that attitude she couldn't raise him and still did the most awesome thing she could have done. She gave up her own flesh and blood to someone who could give him what she couldn't even if it is no more than she couldn't give love. She showed more love by letting him go to a home that loves him beyond your imagination.

On our drive back to his home , I told him that I love him. He said I love you. I said I love you more. This went on for awhile and he finally won the game by saying he loves me more 80 times. That is a lot of love. I did tell him that I loved him 100 times more. He said that is a lot of love. I said , Yes it is. I am so grateful for that love.

Thank You God for my nephew. I know I post a lot on adoption but it is the most awesome gift I have been given so far , my nephew. I hope to get stable and pursue adopting a child of my own one day.

I Love You More My Handsome Nephew.

I am trying....

I really am trying to get back on track with exercise.

The good news is since last Sunday I have walked at least one mile six of the seven days. Go me.

As for my eating, I have good and bad days. Today was bad, bad, bad. I never sat and ate a meal. I ate a bunch of non-meals, junk and sodas. I am trying to get back on track with exercising and know that my eating will come naturally after that, I hope.

Everyone enjoy your President's Day off. I will be working because of one too many snow days around here.

Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

That is the scripture God laid on my heart in my early twenties. I quote it everyday. I trust him with all my heart but I am struggling. What exactly are his plans for me? I keep waiting and waiting for things to happen but they never do. I am not questioning him just wondering when....

When will I find a husband?
When will I find a job?
When will I make enough money to survive?
When will I have a family of my own?
Will I have a family of my own?
What lesson am I learning at this point in my life?

The list goes on but I always cling to my Lord and my verse. I know he has a plan and one day it will be very clear.

Even my computer...

Even my computer makes fun of my weight.

I went to synch my old Ipod just now. The file name it gave me was FAT32. Now what exactly does that mean. Now I would really be offended of it said FAT37, since that is my age. Though I don't feel it.

Seriously , did it have to give me the file name FAT. I don't need any more hints or teasing?

Do you know who you are?

Today I started off in a regular ed Math class but was moved to a special education class for the second half of my day. I did not know it was autism until I got in the room.

One child walked up to me and read my name tag with no mispronunciations. The regular ed students cant even do this all the time. I never realized how hard it is for some people to pronunciate it. I also never realized that since part of it sounds like the word Southern that it would raise so many questions out of different students. It is Scottish. So for this child to walk up and just pronounce it like he says it everyday was astounding to me.

This same child started introducing me to the other 4-5 students. I listened and was impressed by his leadership. He shook my hand and started pointing and telling me who everyone was. The sub that was leaving who is a regular teacher who had to fill in until I was done with my previous class asked him if he had introduced himself to me. He looked at her with the straightest face and said, " No, I know who I am."

I could only laugh. That was the highlight of my bummer Valentine's Day though. He knows who he was but .... DO you know who you are?

Kids can be cruel...

"Man she eats a dozen doughnuts. "

"Not just doughnuts probably cheeseburgers too."

" Man, she is huge."

"Obese."

"She might eat you too."

Chuckles

" Look at how fat that sub is."

"Whoah"

More laughs.


Yep this is what I heard today in the hallway before classes started. This was by far the the cruelest kids yet I have endured. I pretended to ignore them. It was getting to me though but I would not show it. Class bell rings, announcements are over and then I introduce myself. This was followed by a lecture of how immature these kids were and questioning if they had ever seen an overweight individual before because they were acting like they have not. I also informed them that I was here the day before for a lower class and they acted more mature then this upper class of middle schoolers. I also told them that I do not eat a dozen doughnuts or cheeseburgers but that people are all different sizes. Their mouths dropped and the room was silent. You see, they had just been called out for their foolishness.

The principal came by to see me later in the day inquiring about my day. I told him everything. He was embarrassed and ashamed. He was feeling me out to see if I would say anything because the teacher in the next class had heard it herself and had already reported it. He agreed with me that the kids he has this year were cruel. He was thoroughly embarrassed.

I refused to let this get to me. I refused to let these middle-schoolers see me get upset or cry. When I lectured them I kept a straight face. No emotions. This taunting went through my head for hours. I wanted to just leave but I refused to let them know they had run me away. I would prevail. I survived the rest of the day until I was leaving. As I passed some girls outside to leave. One looked back at me , laughs and then says, "Whoah." That was it for me. When I made it to my car, the tears came. I had lasted all day but that was the final straw.

I am due to go back there Thursday. I have had good days at this school, this was a first. I have been wavering with cancelling the job and going somewhere else that day. There is that part of me though that refuses to let the kids get to me.

I must confess a few hours later I did go get a doughnut. I tried not to but after all that crudeness today, my emotional eating gave in.

Dinner

Sometimes I have to share something that was good. I found boneless pork loin on sale last week so I bought one. I usually slow cook them in the crock pot with dry onion soup mix and water. Turns out great. I always shop at Save-A-Lot and my store carries a lot of the Goya products. We get the flan for my grandfather because he loves egg custard and this is as close to what my grandmother used to make. I have been eyeing a marinade for weeks. I go in there several times a week to pick up milk, bread or some last minute item we are out of. We have a small store so I love our store. I can get in and out yet still get good quality products too. Oh, back to my marinade. It is the Goya Mojo Criollo. It really interested me because of the word mojo, sounds like mojito and I like a mojito every once in a blue moon. I finally broke down and bought it. It was around $3, it was not the price holding me back but the wondering if it was sweet and if it was salty or not. I took my pork loin and marinated it over night in the Mojo Criollo. I used 3/4 of the bottle to cover the loin 3/4 of the way fat side up and poked the loin with my fork to let the marinade seep in on the other side. This morning we drained off over half the marinade then placed it in the crockpot for 8 hours. Oh my , it was delicious. It was fork tender and just enough flavor to be good but not overpowering. I am now plotting in my mind how it would taste over chicken. If your store has this , you have to try it. I did learn that Mojo Criollo is a cuban marinade. Needless to say, it will be on my shopping list again.

My other latest food venture is roasted vegetables. This evening I roasted peeled eggplant. I sliced it about 1/4" thick but did not chunk it. When I chunk it , it has a tendency to reduce to nothing. I also bought the precut butternut squash and some cauliflower. I take a little garlic, olive oil, Mrs. Dash and Molly McButter. It was delicious too. I cooked it all in the same pan on 400 for about 30 minutes.

See, I am trying to eat healthier. I accompanied all this with Mrs. Miller's Amish Spinach noodles.

Yummy!

http://www.goya.com/english/product_subcategory/Regional-Specialties/Caribbean

Pondering....

Why are avocados so good? Bland but real good when lightly salted. Why do I have to salt avocados? I don't salt any other fruit.
Why are they a fruit when they are so savory and not sweet? I know, I know they have a seed. So technically tomatoes and cucumbers are a fruit too, right. Yes, I salt them too sometimes.
Why do they have so much fat? I know it is a good fat but 26 grams of it, wow!

How did I eat a whole 12 oz bag of Christmas peanut M & M's over the last week? Can I say they were a healthy fat too? I did read that gastric bypass patients eat them as a treat because of the protein levels. One thing though, I have not had gastric bypass. At least it was over a week's time and not all in one night, right.

Why did walking one mile today wear me out? I am exhausted. That is sad.

It is mine, all mine

Two posts in one day but I had to share the good news.

I received my state tax refund today. It was for one dollar more than the payoff on my car.

I paid my car off five minutes ago. Thirteen days late but it is paid.

It is mine all mine..... well except for the $130 I owe my mom for helping me make it in December.

So according to the paperwork it is all mine. According to my conscience it will be all mine when I pay her back the $130.

That is $300 less coming out of my pocket each month. Things will still be tight just not as tight.

Thank You Lord for seeing me through this.

When you think your life is tough...

When you think your life is tough, try walking through someone else's shoes.

I have been battling the winter blues. Not wanting to do anything. Not even exercise. I have been sneaking more veggies into my diet though but not avoiding eating wrong. Just been down in the dumps waiting for spring.

I read the obituaries yesterday when I saw a friend (long old friend from years ago) of mine's father. I had just worked with her last week and knew her father had his leg amputated due to complications of diabetes. Her father was younger than mine so it hit home on how precious life is. Then I mentioned it to a mutual friend last night at a meeting. She asked if I knew about my friend's sister's husband. I knew the sister off and on through the years from camp and her husband was a contractor so my previous job he came through alot. I knew they were separated. What I didn't know was that he had committed suicide last week. Her sister buried her husband one Friday then buried her Father the following Friday. Separated or not, it was still her husband. How devastating all in one week's time. My heart just aches for her. She is the same age as I am and is now the single mother of 3.

You always think you are going through a valley until you hear someone else's problems. It is then you realize you really are not in a valley but climbing up the mountain compared to their problems.

Help me to keep on climbing, Lord.