Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I tried to stay out of it...

I really did try to stay out of it. My mother went to return the car that he gave to her that he claims he did when he was not in his right mind. I drove down the road 35 minutes from where the school was that I was working at today to pick her up. I walked in the door and the door slammed. I heard him yelling at my mom and accusing my Dad of some untruths. One of them was that my Dad has brainwashed her to hate her sister. No brainwashing was needed. Her sister did all this with no help. See up until this last year my Dad liked her and thought she was great too until he saw her deceitful ways.

It really broke my heart to hear my mom telling her father that she was sorry she was ever born and sorry she was born to a man who only had enough love for one child and that is her sister. He never has treated my mom right. He never denied any of it. Just kept telling her that my family had brainwashed her.

He also said he would pray for my Dad's salvation. I stood in the hallway totally flabbergasted. He kept going even after my mom pleaded with him to stop. There was more said when my mom screamed for him to stop because his granddaughter had heard it all. He then before knowing who it was accused me of being a sneak and a thief by sneaking in his house. I did not sneak, I walked in and the door slammed. I walked into his living room and looked at his face, he was shocked it was me because I had not been in all this mess. HE did not apologize for calling me a thief and a sneak. He started to tell me how he loved me so much but my parents were awful people. I told my mom to leave and went off on him. I told him my parents had done nothing to him but care for him for 3 months and that him being ugly to them was not right. He looked at me and told me that their good care was a matter of opinion and that he had been treated badly and had not said anything. Oh, this is so untrue. He also told me he knew I would see their side just like my brother because blood is thicker than water. I guess I don't come from his bloodline. Then he went on to remind me that he loaned my brother some money years ago when he needed it and he was ashamed of my brother for going off on my mom's sister. The money was paid back nine years ago. I wrote on his board that I loved him as my grandfather and I was ashamed of his attitude towards my parents. He continued to tell me that he loved me and that when I stand over his casket when he is dead that I can remember that. I waved goodbye to him as I uttered to myself... You loved me before or after you called me a sneak and a thief for just walking in the door.

The sad part of all this today is that she had a good morning with him. It wasn't until she was leaving that he wanted to say some things. Say somethings alright. He was plain mean. He was all nice to her when she was making sure he didnt go to bed tonight in a soaked bed and made him breakfast and a good lunch. Once again, he was plain mean.

I look back hours later. It was useless to talk to him. The man I talked to was not my grandfather this was a mean old stranger today. I don't know how he was deemed competent on Monday. Oh, I do know , my mom's sister took him to the doctor and lied to the doctor about things. Told the doctor the neighbors will check on him 2-3 times a day. How do we know all this? My mom called the doctor and talked to him. My mom also talked to the neighbors today and no such agreement was made. In fact, one neighbor says the next time he comes in the house and he is sitting in pee and wet, he will call social services. As for being competent, I don't know how a doctor can deem that out of a 96.5 year old after a 15 minute appointment and declare him able to care for himself with assistance from the neighbors. My mom's sister is that good.

In the mean time, my parents have backed away. My mom will go up there two times a week to see to it that he has food. This is what they have had to do for their own well-being. When he gets ugly , she will leave.

Oh and by the way, my grandfather said that he would pray for my forgiveness too. I asked him for what and he said for fussing at him even though he did not hear a word of it. Also said he forgives me even though I have not asked for his forgiveness. Since when is telling someone they are treating others bad a sin

I am tired of it all.

So, I still sit here wondering, spiritually wise... How is evil still winning?


That corgi :) said...

praying, Becky. I'm so sorry it is just so going downhill; this should be a time where everyone can rally around your grandfather and enjoy his final days (or however long the Lord gives him) It is so said it is filled with a lot of trauma and drama :(


The Brown Recluse said...

I wonder if he's more senile than you all realized? That may explain some of this behavior. I'm glad that your parents are backing away, that sounds like the best thing to do.

The rejection thing with your mom...yeah, that would be a really, really tough thing.

Try to keep in mind that he didn't call YOU, per se, a sneak and a thief. Remember that he's not all there, and don't take things he says personally. You already know he's not going to be nice, so don't expect anything less of him.

I'm praying for grace for you and your family to walk though this fire with grace, peace, and joy. With God, nothing is impossible for those who believe.