I posted last night about the lack of a family gathering on Easter.
We had decided to have a Easter dinner Monday evening at my sister's house BUT my nephew had a last minute ball practice so that was put off. I had text my cousin on Friday to tell him our plans for Monday. His response was...Thanks for the information. I was like alright , I take that as a I am not coming.
My Mom decided to go ahead and cook and take a plate to me sister and her family but my sister decided we could come and eat with just us and her hubby and son could join us later. I am collecting the final things for dinner when my cousin text...Is dinner still on? I said... Yeah! He responded...Stephen (his brother) may be coming. I was like great but knew we didn't have enough ham or potatoes. So I grabbed our frozen meatballs out of the freezer and threw some gravy in a pan. I also nuked three potatoes with butter and added them to the scalloped potatoes. We had roasted one head of cauliflower and had 6 ears of corn cut in half already. My sister had cabbage from Friday they didn't finish. I reheated that , added the potatoes to the scalloped ones and heated the meatballs while the boys drove a mile away to visit my Dad. We had a feast of sliced ham, scalloped ( and nuked) potatoes, deviled eggs, fresh corn on the cob, cabbage, meatballs, roasted cauliflower, bread and brownies.
See how God turned my depression around. It really made my night that my cousins decided to join us. I miss my family. I was really surprised by Stephen because he lives 40 minutes away and works 40-45 minutes away. By the time he gets off work, it is usually too far for him to travel but today, miraculously, he got off at 1:30.
Tonight was such a blessing and a treat. Thank You, Lord.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Spiritual High!!!
Yep, it is one of those Sundays that I am on a spiritual high.
This is one of the first times in my life that I know where I am at this moment is in God's Will.
I struggle every Sunday with how small our church is becoming. I know most Sundays that I am there for the few children who faithfully attend. We have been working on a creative movement song for a few months and we presented it today. They children did wonderful. I was so happy. I ran into a church member at Cracker Barrel who said that it sent chills down his spine at their presentation. I wish I could share but I don't know how to transfer from facebook to here. I am not tech savvy.
Another situation has occurred in a long term position I am working until the end of the school year. One day in the work room, a conversation occurred with a fellow co-worker about my brother. I don't know how the conversation occurred except through God. He did not know my brother but we were in the same industry at the same time and had seen each other and done business together yet did not know each other at all years ago. We talked for a long time. I saw him a few days later and told him he had depressed me because I wanted to tell my brother all about our conversation yet I could not. He said he went home and shared everything with his wife and told me he knew our conversation was of God. The reason being , he had not stepped into church in 12 or more years. He knew God had put me into his path to work on getting back into church. A few more coincidences happened involving another coworker who ended up inviting him to Easter service at her church. I don't know if he went but I pray he went somewhere today and that it is the beginning of him renewing his life for Christ.
I am also working with a student who could lead a life of real trouble. I have some inside information on him that should have me scared but I am not. Since this child found out I am a Christian, he says no profanity around me, he doesn't talk about getting high or smoking pot around me. I pray for him daily, he does not know that though. I really know I have been placed in his path to make a difference. I cant share my faith but I can take an interest in what he is doing and taking my time to help him improve his work. I know this is where God wants me right now.
On to another note, it has been a depressing day. I know it is Resurrection Day and I should be so happy. My brother always cooked Easter breakfast at our church. It is hard to go to Easter breakfast and for him not to be the one in the kitchen doing what he did best. It is also hard to walk in the Fellowship hall to these spring flower arrangements.....That we donated after his wedding reception. My brother is all over that church. Most Sundays I am ok but then Easter Sunday hurts. BUT I have hope in Christ, who died and rose again for me and my sins and you and your sins. All you have to do is accept him as your Savior and you can live in Heaven with Christ. I know that is where my brother is, I know he loved Jesus. I know I will see him again but sometimes humanness smacks me in the face. I can have a spiritual high and a human low at the same time.
I was also depressed because this is the first major holiday that we did not have any kind of family gathering because my sister had to work. Life is hard sometimes. I did not realize things would change so drastically when my brother died, but they have. I went to Easter breakfast and church then Mom and I went to a movie, dropped off Easter for my nephew , then went to Cracker Barrel. We made the best of it.
Speaking of Heaven and movies.... I think you know where this is going.....HEAVEN IS FOR REAL....It is . I cried and I smiled. My honest opinion is it was great. My other honest opinion.....They missed the ball on the salvation message that they had such an opportunity to reach so many people. They talked about Jesus, they talked about Heaven but they never truly told you how to get to Heaven.There is only one way....FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST...Accepting him as your Savior...plain and simple. They went all around it....don't be shy....put it out there. My third honest opinion.....it was a movie about Heaven and that it truly was. It was not about Hell or Salvation but about Heaven but I still think they blew a huge opportunity to present the Gospel....Of course, only my opinion.
Ok, I am done.......Don't forget.....GOD IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of the first times in my life that I know where I am at this moment is in God's Will.
I struggle every Sunday with how small our church is becoming. I know most Sundays that I am there for the few children who faithfully attend. We have been working on a creative movement song for a few months and we presented it today. They children did wonderful. I was so happy. I ran into a church member at Cracker Barrel who said that it sent chills down his spine at their presentation. I wish I could share but I don't know how to transfer from facebook to here. I am not tech savvy.
Another situation has occurred in a long term position I am working until the end of the school year. One day in the work room, a conversation occurred with a fellow co-worker about my brother. I don't know how the conversation occurred except through God. He did not know my brother but we were in the same industry at the same time and had seen each other and done business together yet did not know each other at all years ago. We talked for a long time. I saw him a few days later and told him he had depressed me because I wanted to tell my brother all about our conversation yet I could not. He said he went home and shared everything with his wife and told me he knew our conversation was of God. The reason being , he had not stepped into church in 12 or more years. He knew God had put me into his path to work on getting back into church. A few more coincidences happened involving another coworker who ended up inviting him to Easter service at her church. I don't know if he went but I pray he went somewhere today and that it is the beginning of him renewing his life for Christ.
I am also working with a student who could lead a life of real trouble. I have some inside information on him that should have me scared but I am not. Since this child found out I am a Christian, he says no profanity around me, he doesn't talk about getting high or smoking pot around me. I pray for him daily, he does not know that though. I really know I have been placed in his path to make a difference. I cant share my faith but I can take an interest in what he is doing and taking my time to help him improve his work. I know this is where God wants me right now.
On to another note, it has been a depressing day. I know it is Resurrection Day and I should be so happy. My brother always cooked Easter breakfast at our church. It is hard to go to Easter breakfast and for him not to be the one in the kitchen doing what he did best. It is also hard to walk in the Fellowship hall to these spring flower arrangements.....That we donated after his wedding reception. My brother is all over that church. Most Sundays I am ok but then Easter Sunday hurts. BUT I have hope in Christ, who died and rose again for me and my sins and you and your sins. All you have to do is accept him as your Savior and you can live in Heaven with Christ. I know that is where my brother is, I know he loved Jesus. I know I will see him again but sometimes humanness smacks me in the face. I can have a spiritual high and a human low at the same time.
I was also depressed because this is the first major holiday that we did not have any kind of family gathering because my sister had to work. Life is hard sometimes. I did not realize things would change so drastically when my brother died, but they have. I went to Easter breakfast and church then Mom and I went to a movie, dropped off Easter for my nephew , then went to Cracker Barrel. We made the best of it.
Speaking of Heaven and movies.... I think you know where this is going.....HEAVEN IS FOR REAL....It is . I cried and I smiled. My honest opinion is it was great. My other honest opinion.....They missed the ball on the salvation message that they had such an opportunity to reach so many people. They talked about Jesus, they talked about Heaven but they never truly told you how to get to Heaven.There is only one way....FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST...Accepting him as your Savior...plain and simple. They went all around it....don't be shy....put it out there. My third honest opinion.....it was a movie about Heaven and that it truly was. It was not about Hell or Salvation but about Heaven but I still think they blew a huge opportunity to present the Gospel....Of course, only my opinion.
Ok, I am done.......Don't forget.....GOD IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
God's Not Dead!!!!!!!!!
In my struggles with grief, I sometimes have questioned my faith. It is natural. I always come back to the fact it is God that has pulled me through.
Today is my 41st birthday, not a day goes by I don't think about my brother and long to see him again. Because of my faith in Jesus Christ and my brother's faith I will see him again one day. We ate out tonight and we had a good time but I must admit that several times in the evening my thoughts go to the one person missing, my brother but this is our NEW NORMAL.
For my birthday, I went and saw the movie, GOD'S NOT DEAD! It is what I needed for a spiritual renewal for me. GO SEE IT!
I love Newsboy's song , "GOD'S NOT DEAD!"
I leave you with the link because... GOD IS NOT DEAD! HE IS SURELY ALIVE! LIVING ON THE INSIDE! ROARING LIKE A LION!
God is our hope when we feel hopeless. He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for all of us. I mean the nails pierced his hands just so we can choose to accept him and live eternally in Heaven. WOW! What love!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_OTz-lpDjw
Today is my 41st birthday, not a day goes by I don't think about my brother and long to see him again. Because of my faith in Jesus Christ and my brother's faith I will see him again one day. We ate out tonight and we had a good time but I must admit that several times in the evening my thoughts go to the one person missing, my brother but this is our NEW NORMAL.
For my birthday, I went and saw the movie, GOD'S NOT DEAD! It is what I needed for a spiritual renewal for me. GO SEE IT!
I love Newsboy's song , "GOD'S NOT DEAD!"
I leave you with the link because... GOD IS NOT DEAD! HE IS SURELY ALIVE! LIVING ON THE INSIDE! ROARING LIKE A LION!
God is our hope when we feel hopeless. He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for all of us. I mean the nails pierced his hands just so we can choose to accept him and live eternally in Heaven. WOW! What love!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_OTz-lpDjw
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Books....
In case you are wondering what we are doing with the 30,000 books or more that we have from the store. Right now, most are in storage. We are clearing out one unit and storing in our church to save $280 a month. We will start on the next unit next month. It is the largest unit with Christian and Secular books.
At night, in my free time, which is very little, I put in ISBN numbers into our main site's system to see which are worth selling and storing, We have two piles, one for selling online which is over taking our house and one for garage sales which is more than we have in the house. My church has allowed us to set up a table in the back of the garage sale books. We add more when they are sold and rotate them every month. No book is over $2 and our small church has bought quite a bit of books.
We are going to a flea market in April to see how we do and will have one garage sale at the house. After that, that set of books will be donated. We have several organizations we are looking into.
You may ask, why do we take the time to sell and store books online. It is not really for the money, though it will be nice to have some because I do find a rare book here and there. It is to keep my Father's mind busy. He works all the books online after I do the initial sorting. As long as it keeps him busy and I dont run out of money paying storage fees, we will continue.
All of this to say, if you are looking for any books, mostly used and rare, some new but not within last two years. Here is the link to our main site we sell on. At this time, it has 940 books listed but we will be adding thousands more slowly.
http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/StoreFrontDisplay?cid=59150620
We sell on Marketplace Barnes and Noble and Biblio.com too but Abe's gives us our own little web address.
I am on ebay with a few church supply items, should you know anyone who may need some things. I am actively working on that when I get my camera fixed.
http://www.ebay.com/sch/rmslil/m.html?_ipg=50&_sop=12&_rdc=1
Then ebay has a site just devoted to books, music and dvds with ISBN's. We are on that too.
So , if you may wonder.... we stay pretty busy around here but today, I am taking a break. Taking my nephew to Busch Gardens.
At night, in my free time, which is very little, I put in ISBN numbers into our main site's system to see which are worth selling and storing, We have two piles, one for selling online which is over taking our house and one for garage sales which is more than we have in the house. My church has allowed us to set up a table in the back of the garage sale books. We add more when they are sold and rotate them every month. No book is over $2 and our small church has bought quite a bit of books.
We are going to a flea market in April to see how we do and will have one garage sale at the house. After that, that set of books will be donated. We have several organizations we are looking into.
You may ask, why do we take the time to sell and store books online. It is not really for the money, though it will be nice to have some because I do find a rare book here and there. It is to keep my Father's mind busy. He works all the books online after I do the initial sorting. As long as it keeps him busy and I dont run out of money paying storage fees, we will continue.
All of this to say, if you are looking for any books, mostly used and rare, some new but not within last two years. Here is the link to our main site we sell on. At this time, it has 940 books listed but we will be adding thousands more slowly.
http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/StoreFrontDisplay?cid=59150620
We sell on Marketplace Barnes and Noble and Biblio.com too but Abe's gives us our own little web address.
I am on ebay with a few church supply items, should you know anyone who may need some things. I am actively working on that when I get my camera fixed.
http://www.ebay.com/sch/rmslil/m.html?_ipg=50&_sop=12&_rdc=1
Then ebay has a site just devoted to books, music and dvds with ISBN's. We are on that too.
So , if you may wonder.... we stay pretty busy around here but today, I am taking a break. Taking my nephew to Busch Gardens.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Birthdays
Today was the beginning of birthday season for us. This was the sad one that we tried to make good. It is my brother's birthday.
I cried when I saw some people posting on his facebook page and what they had to say. I cried when I came home and looked at his page again.
After school, Mom and I met my sister and nephew at my brother's gravesite. I bought 4 balloons and we released them one at a time. Three flew higher and higher. Mine did not. It got stuck in the nearest tree. We waited and waited for it to break loose. It never did. I told my Mom and Sister that it was God telling us that my brother still lives in our memories and hearts here on earth. ( I typed all this without crying until now and to be down right honest. I dont want him to live in my memories and heart. I WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH WITH US! A piece of us is gone forever. It is the truth,,, I know all the spiritual answers. If I told you we were fine , I would be lying. We miss him dearly and have to move forward with our New Normal. DO we like the New Normal.....no but we have to get used to it.) Don't ever say that I am not honest... cause that side note is straight from the heart.
My nephew asked me if they were coming over for dinner tonight like last year. I had forgotten all about that but he didn't. My sister wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. Mom and I went to a mexican restaurant...the same chain but different location of our last lunch together before he died. Evidently, the dinner meant something to my nephew and she text me to say next year we need to have dinner to celebrate Rob's life and keep his memory alive for my nephew. So Mom and I both ordered my brother's favorite dish which was Nachos Supreme. We ate in his memory.
Just so you know this March 4 was 17 months since he left us. I still look at his picture and ask for the nightmare to end. It is still hard to realize he is gone. Ok... the tears are coming again. I want to end on a postive celebration.....
God Gave my Parents 49 years
God Gave my Sister 47 years
God Gave me 39 years
God Gave my nephew 9 years
of being Blessed with My Brother's Presence and Life.
Thank you God for that Gift.......
.................
but I would have liked a lot more ... me being selfish .
Til we meet again.
I cried when I saw some people posting on his facebook page and what they had to say. I cried when I came home and looked at his page again.
After school, Mom and I met my sister and nephew at my brother's gravesite. I bought 4 balloons and we released them one at a time. Three flew higher and higher. Mine did not. It got stuck in the nearest tree. We waited and waited for it to break loose. It never did. I told my Mom and Sister that it was God telling us that my brother still lives in our memories and hearts here on earth. ( I typed all this without crying until now and to be down right honest. I dont want him to live in my memories and heart. I WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH WITH US! A piece of us is gone forever. It is the truth,,, I know all the spiritual answers. If I told you we were fine , I would be lying. We miss him dearly and have to move forward with our New Normal. DO we like the New Normal.....no but we have to get used to it.) Don't ever say that I am not honest... cause that side note is straight from the heart.
My nephew asked me if they were coming over for dinner tonight like last year. I had forgotten all about that but he didn't. My sister wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. Mom and I went to a mexican restaurant...the same chain but different location of our last lunch together before he died. Evidently, the dinner meant something to my nephew and she text me to say next year we need to have dinner to celebrate Rob's life and keep his memory alive for my nephew. So Mom and I both ordered my brother's favorite dish which was Nachos Supreme. We ate in his memory.
Just so you know this March 4 was 17 months since he left us. I still look at his picture and ask for the nightmare to end. It is still hard to realize he is gone. Ok... the tears are coming again. I want to end on a postive celebration.....
God Gave my Parents 49 years
God Gave my Sister 47 years
God Gave me 39 years
God Gave my nephew 9 years
of being Blessed with My Brother's Presence and Life.
Thank you God for that Gift.......
.................
but I would have liked a lot more ... me being selfish .
Til we meet again.
Friday, March 14, 2014
It's empty
Have you ever tried to explain something to someone and break it down as simple as you possibly can? You try again. You do everything but give the answer. Then you finally look at the person and it dawns on you. There really is nothing up there in the space that holds the brain. I am not being ugly but truthful. It is empty, it has checked out. There is nothing there. Oh, it looks pretty but really there is nothing there. I truly had that moment today. Then I have to admit after spending my energy breaking it down that I truly had checked out and there was nothing there.
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