Saturday, October 15, 2011

My smirk said it all....

My smirk said it all... Yes, it did. I walked down for the processional behind my parents with this really weird smirk on my face. I know the congregation thought it was strange but it was a victory smirk. I know that sounds horrible at a funeral but yes it was a victory smirk but it was not just for me it was for my grandfather too. It was a " See What We Did to Make Her Mad" smirk.

Well, they started to line us up to walk down the church. She , you know the crazy lady , had told the funeral director that the grandchildren should be lined up oldest to youngest with their families. One problem, that left me on the end with no one. I had already asked my Mother if she wanted me beside her because I know my Dad is not a "comforter". She said yes. The crazy lady was having no part of this. It had to be oldest to youngest. Why? Because her kids would be first because my brother , the second oldest was upstairs doing the sound system. How convenient, her kids first, even in the obituary, her kids first. She kept insisting and so did the funeral director. All four of us that were downstairs took a stand and refused. The director was at a loss. She kept fussing and was holding up the funeral fussing. So my cousins took two steps forward and told her ok we will go oldest to youngest. She was happy. Once she started down the aisle with her husband, we changed the order back around to where I was with my Mom, then my cousins and their family and my sister last with her family because she chose to be.

Ohh, the look on her face when she looked down the pew to see that I was not her son. That face scrunched all up with disapproval. I looked at her with my smirk and grinned from ear to ear. We trumped her. Then I was thinking Saxe you would be so proud, we got her. The last few weeks he almost hated her and definitely regretted his anger decision a few months ago towards my Mom. Like I said, it was too little too late but oh he would have loved to have seen that face too.

She is such a control-freak hung up on the "oldest child " syndrome. That is what she says to my Mother all the time. I am the oldest child. I was born first. So this little stand we took may seem small to most families but it was huge to us. It meant, #1 we are tired of the control, #2 we are tired of her putting such importance on the first born pecking order #3 we were tired of her and  #4 we were all united and she was not winning. She did not win this battle. Oh she thought she did until she looked left and saw it did not go her away. She stewed the whole funeral. It was so worth it.

Side note.... My father proved me a little wrong. I said that he was not a "comforter". Well during the funeral, I was the one comforting my Mom with my arm around her. I was planning on walking down the aisle with her and holding her hand while he walked with his walker. He shocked us all at the recessional. He took his walker with one hand then reached out for hers and held her hand down the aisle with the walker. That made me cry even more. My Dad just does not do that. I was so proud of him ......well until he pooted in the limousine.

Had to leave you with a chuckle.

Well not really. One more thing. My grandfather gave my Mother his prized wallet weeks ago full of money. Almost 10 grand. He told her to keep it until the will is read. If the will is read that everything should be 50/50 then they should split it. If the will is not read that way, my Mom is to keep it until which time her sister did what was right. If she did not do right then my Mom was to keep it as a gift. On the limo ride home from the cemetery , her sister asked for the wallet. She said it either it needed to be split or put in the trust. My Mom simply said that she had just buried her father and wishes not to discuss such things on this day. Her sister was peeved again. She will be even more peeved when she has the notarized last wishes written by my grandfather 5 weeks ago put in her face at the reading of the will.

1 comment:

The Brown Recluse said...

Her brain just must work differently than most folks, even when she's not having a alzheimer's moment.

Does she know about the last notarized will? If she contests it, won't it go into probate? That takes a long time.

Anyway...I'm glad that day is over for you, and I hope once the reading of the will is over, you all can go on about your lives.