Death Angel Thoughts

I have never really thought about whether there is or is not a death angel.

My grandmother in her final weeks would see a man from time to time either over her bed or just in a room. She described him as being a bald man, that was it. She saw him and a little boy all the time.

I do know she had dementia and could hallucinate.

The last two days my grandfather has seen a man standing over his bed or sitting in a chair in his room. He has seen kids but not just one boy. Today he asked my Mom why this man was sitting in the gold chair in the living room and wanted to know who he was. My Mom just looked and was speechless. Later , she had left the room and when she returned he asked her where the man went that was just there. She did get a little spooked because it is just her and him there. He told her that the man took his hand to take him somewhere and my grandfather refused to go.

I do know he has been confused with his power being out for 2 days.

My Mom's sister just called to tell us that he asked her to tell the man in the gold chair to leave that he had been there all day and he was tired of looking at him just sitting in his living room. I am getting spooky chills typing this. At this point , his power and lights had been restored for several hours.

Is there a death angel? I am beginning to wonder.

We survived

Well, we survived Hurricane Irene. I discovered that the houses in the neighborhood I live in were built to last. If I was in the living room, I could hear very little of the wind. I kept looking out at our cedar tree in our yard thinking that it wasn't moving much. I forgot this cedar tree is solid. It is our neighborhood landmark. It barely moved so I was fooled. The few times I ventured into the side rooms, oh boy was the wind whipping. We lost a small limb at the beginning of the storm and during that storm that limb went all over our yard.

I kept my car around the corner at the DMV because it is higher ground and should we need to leave for an emergency with my Dad we could get out by walking and sloshing through water. Our street only flooded halfway the first half, my house is halfway, unfortunately. The second half it flooded all the way but never up to our houses, Praise the Lord.

As for others, they were not so lucky. Early in the day a tree fell on an apartment complex less than a mile from my house. The Mother was able to escape but her 11 year old son did not escape and perished. Heartbreaking. Please pray for this Mother. They had just moved to this apartment on Tuesday, so you can imagine she is rethinking her decisions of moving there right now.

As for others in my family, my grandfather, brother, and sister all lost power. Long story and drama later about my grandfather, the hurricane, the aide and my Mom's sister. My Brother's property was the worst hurt this morning in the family when a gigantic tree landed on his detached garage. Praise the Lord it was the garage and not the house.

Tomorrow , I have received the message that our church will be used as a sleeping shelter for disaster relief workers and I am on that committee so I may be busy manning the church during the next few days.

Below is a picture of my brother's former garage. Smashed to smithereens.

Update...

AS of the moment , I still have power. It has flickered twice. There has been a lot of rain and wind but the worst  will be here around 2 Pm today.

Our street has not flooded, yet but it will probably in the bad wind and rain later.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Questions...

I just asked the question.... If we are forced to evacuate for Hurricane Irene, where will we go?

All of our family is here. My sister and her family will go to Ohio or Florida to be with his family. My brother and his wife will head to Illinois to be with her family. Where will we go? My Dad has family in Connecticut but that is in the track too. We also are not close to them to go raid their house for a few days. What about the indoor and outdoor cats? I am not leaving without the indoor one, at least. I will want to take the outdoor one too but because of her outdoor instincts we may lose her somewhere. She stays in a garage most nights that has an upstairs so she can get to higher ground. Wow, I can only imagine what the residents of New Orleans felt as they had to make these choices. We have not been told to evacuate but all these things are going through my mind at the moment.

As for my Grandfather. My Mom's sister will have to take care of him because of my Dad's health problems we will have to get him to electricity and air condition somewhere.

Hopefully , we wont have to face any of these problems.

Earhquake...

Earthquake... What earthquake?

I went to Busch Gardens this afternoon with my Mom and nephew. They were busy and I was fussing about how far we had to park. We get on the tram and head to the entrance. We get in the park, stop at the restroom and go straight to Loch Ness Monster roller coaster which is closed. Then we head to another ride, which was closed. Strange, very strange. Then I remember when we walked in that they also were closing the skylift. All sorts of things are going through my head. Then I look on my phone and my sister had text me asking if we were ok. I responded, yeah why. It is not like her to be so concerned about us. At that moment one of the employees told me there had just been an earthquake. I was shocked. My sister said the hospital shook. Evidently , we were on the tram. Strange day. We went shopping in some of the shops we never go into. My nephew was fascinated by some magnetic rocks so I bought them. We spent about an hour at a picnic table playing with the rocks and eating lunch. We made the best of it until the rides re-opened. It was definitely a day to remember. Now every noise or vibration is freaking me out now. There have been some aftershocks but I have not felt them either.

We will get over this shock and now prepare for Hurricane Isabel which is projecting to hit us Saturday.

This song is in my  head..... It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

UPDATE...

My Grandfather is hanging in there. He is surviving off ice chips then maybe two to three spoonfuls of yogurt. He is heading back home this weekend where he wants to be when he dies. He is still alert and knows everything that is going on. He has been very concerned about the way he has left his will. He has felt guilty and worried about the power he has left my Mom's sister. He wrote a paragraph stating that he wanted everything divided 50-50 between them. We did a little inquiring and found out that if it is notarized, it is legal. It was notarized yesterday.
My Mom's sister at the moment has no idea that my Mom has co- medical power of attorney. We think she will find out today because she found out last night that the nursing home called my Mom to tell her something and her sister was not happy. We know she will go and inform them that she does not want my mother called when she will find out about my Mom also having Medical Power of Attorney.
My Mom's sister was approached by her daughter about the Alzheimer's issues. She denied she had it. My cousin had to admit that she found out from the doctor. My Mom's sister had never told her husband either. Great honesty in a one year old marriage. She finally did admit she has Alzheimer's or dementia but said she will never add my Mom to any of their father's affairs. She was warned that legal proceedings may begin under the circumstances of her being in control with Alzheimer's. She stormed out of the nursing home and told my cousin that she was after blood this time. We do know she went to the doctor and removed my cousin from the forms of her doctor's office. I think she will come up with a forged note from her doctor saying she does not have Alzheimer's. I know it will be forged because she also forged a DNR for my grandfather. She is evil.

As for other news.... It is 2 weeks before school starts and I have no job prospects. That is depressing.

I went for a Blood pressure check up the other day which was great. Unfortunately we did a random blood sugar test because of my last blood work and I have diabetes. I also had my throat checked out because I had a soar throat for days. It wasn't strep but he said it was something weird and also a nasal drip. Finally after 8 days it is starting to reside but now I think I have bronchitis. I hope the antibiotic is strong enough to kill the bronchitis too.

Pray for positive changes in my life.

Prayers Needed

The psycho sister is back in town and with a vengeance. My Mom went up to the nursing home to help show her how to feed my grandfather the proper way so that he wont choke and aspirate. She refused to listen. Even at one point started yelling at my Mom for no reason and shoved my Mother. Yes she shoved my mother. My Mother called the nurses in so that she would have witnesses of her trying to explain. The psycho woman kept talking and over talking my Mother even making fun of the food they were feeding him. All of that the nurses witnessed but not the shoving. I am so mad right now that if I was not in charge of my nephew today I would be up there giving that woman a piece of my mind right now. It is useless though, she is that crazy. Finally the nurses told her you have tried, walk away and my Mom did. The nurses then proceeded to inform her sister that she was in the wrong and they would not explain anything to her because she had refused to listen. She then walked over to my sleeping grandfather, sat beside him and said "Poor Daddy, I see all the stress you have been under all week." STRESS... He had no stress until she returned. He is due to come out of the nursing home Friday , this date has been pushed up since she came back. SHe still thinks he is ok at home by himself. He is so weak he cant situp by himself. This woman is PSYCHO and can not see that he is dying or sees it and is denying it.

Update...

My grandfather was able to eat some babyfood today with a thickening agent added to it.  It was only about 1/4 cup of food all together. He was fed this over a course of an hour or so. She gives him very small spoons of food so that she makes sure if he chokes or aspirates it is a little amount. The nursing home will not feed him but we can feed him at our own risk.  My Mom just can not sit there and watch him want to eat, be hungry and not feed him. His esophagus is 99% closed. He was very quiet today but alert and in a good state of mind. He is no longer on an IV.

Speaking of IV. Here is a quick quip of what we go through with my Mom's sister. My sister told me this story earlier today because she was up there last night during a huge confrontation between the nursing home, my Mom's sister and medical power of attorney. That story in a moment. My Mom's sister was telling the nurse that my grandfather had an IB at the hospital. The nurse looked at her quizzically. My sister insisted she explain what she is talking about. She responded that an IB was that needle in your arm to take fluids. My sister corrected her and said it was an IV. "A what?" she said. An IV. V as in Victor. Her response was... "Who is Victor?" My sister gave up.

On to the drama. The drama started because she decided that he needed his diabetic meds even though his sugar is running fine because he is not eating. Sometimes it is 41 and she gives him the meds to lower it. Yep, she is a smart one. The doctor at the nursing home decided he did not need it any more. She decided her power of attorney over rides the doctor. Read on.... We finally are at a place where no one is scared of my Mom's sister. She is not happy. She was extremely not happy when she proceeded to plop her Power of Attorney at the nursing home administrator, doctor and the nurse. They looked at it and proceeded to inform her that the paper was not the Medical Power of Attorney. You see her Power of Attorney is for the financial end of things and in our state you must also have the Medical Power of Attorney to make all the medical decisions. She had a hissy. They argued for about an hour then she finally left. Then when she left they pulled out some legal paper work in which my Mother is now the Medical Power of Attorney. The Christian woman she is , she also listed her sister but nothing can be done medically to him without both agreeing unless one is out of town. So for the weekend my Mom is the sole Medical Power of Attorney and her sister has no idea. She will win in the end , somehow here on earth she always wins. They said in order to change this paperwork now that has my grandfather's signature on it she must bring in a lawyer, a notary, and two witnesses. I don't put it past her and to manipulate his signature. She is that evil.

My sister did say it was nice to finally see some nurses and doctors stand up to her and do their jobs and not buckle under her bullying and threats. In the mean time, she is in Pennsylvania and New York on vacation while her Father is here crying that she left him in this condition.

Please continue to pray.

Not going well...

My eating has not done well this week at all because of disappointment and stress.

Stress: My grandfather is going downhill fast. I am ok with him going to heaven. He has lived for a long 97 years. The stress is the things his daughter does to hurt my Mom. It never ends. My grandfather is being put in a nursing home for 21 days. I don't think he will be here for the full 21 days. His esophagus is pretty much closed. He was born with an irregular esophagus and now it is closing. He cant eat without choking which in turn causes him to aspirate which in turn causes pneumonia. He has had no food since Sunday night. The hospital will not feed him because of the risk of him choking. He has refused a peg feeding tube. He decided this long ago. So now we just sit and wait for the end. Right now he is still perked up because if IV's but that will soon slow down. Last night though he did start talking out of his mind. He insisted it was raining and it wasn't. Then this morning my Mom's sister went to see him and he asked her how she knew where he was. So the end is coming. Please pray for peace. Oh, by the way, my Mom's sister is due to start vacation tomorrow and she is still going despite the circumstances. Does this surprise you? Remember last year when both grandparents were in the hospital, she never came home from that vacation. Yet , she is the one in charge. Make sense.

Disappointment: I was really psyched about a potential part time job teaching. I thought I did great on the interview. They even called me and asked for a copy of my license and references. Then Tuesday, I received my "thanks but no thanks"letter. I sulked for awhile then put my big girl panties on and moved forward looking for last minute job openings. Please pray!

Confession Time

I have been doing pretty good with my eating this summer. A few mishaps here and there but mostly pretty good. NOT TODAY!

It started off a confusing day. I had to rush out the house with my nephew to pick my Dad up from an appointment at the hospital because my Mother had received an emergency call from my Grandfather. He was crying to his homebound nurse to call my Mom and only my Mom because he was dying. She rushed up there and in the mean time he was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia. I will leave out all the drama with her sister not being called first and refusing to go to the hospital because he was not sick. Blah Blah Blah drama.

I did not have breakfast, needless to say. My nephew had managed to eat two pieces of raisin bread while I took my record time shower. I went to the hospital to wait and wait and wait on my Dad. Even went upstairs to visit my sister at work as a nurse. Came back down and waited some more. Finally he comes out. I have needed to get a prescription from Target so I went there since we  were out there.

I went to the Target snackbar and bought a pretzel unknowingly drenched in butter and a large Pepsi for me and my nephew to split. That is where it all went bad. Starting off my first beverage of the day with soda and not water.

Then my nephew and I went skating, well he skated. I sat at the booths at the snack bar in which I was hungry and ate a chili dog, nachos with chili and cheese and a large Cherry Coke.

I did ok until 4ish. Then I had chicken tenders and water. Then just now I ate spanish rice, a lot of it.

I cant brush it off if I post it and tell everyone then I have to deal with it.

Ok, its over time to move on and hope I dont eat anymore spanish rice tonight. I love that stuff.