Wednesday, October 2, 2013

A year...

This week marks a year for my brother's passing with October 4 being the official date of death. I believe his spirit was with Jesus before that. It is a hard week.

Someone posted a note on his facebook page in which the person was so regretful for not making things right with him. I am glad I don't have regrets. Yes , we had our moments and got mad at each other but he was my brother and I would have always been there for him no matter how frustrated I could get about some things. .

God gave me a huge gift the Saturday before he passed. We talked off and on for hours just me and him. Not my Mother or his wife there to intervene. It wasn't deep talk but life talk. I also sat across from him that Sunday at the Mexican restaurant and conversed with him . Our last conversation was about Chipper Jone's retiring from the Braves and how he would never have money woes. I wont forget those conversations.

We ended on a positive note. I cant imagine living with regret on how you treated someone. It is my goal to always be the better person... It is hard but it beats regret and it truly shows Christ's love and that is my goal. To leave people with a taste of God. I am struggling with this with one person in particular but I think things are beyond repair with that individual. I do pray for my heart to softened toward this person. It is hard.

 I miss him more than ever. I still look at the pictures and think... He is gone , he is really gone and tear up. My sister was honest in a post yesterday... She said, Lord I pray that you can heal the heart and help me forgive. We have a lot to be angry with but the time needs to come to forgive. The anger is not with him but with circumstances surrounding the death. She, in particular, performed CPR on him but his brain was too damaged at that point.

Please pray for us as we hit this sad milestone.Pray for us to band as a family and grow stronger even though we are weak.


The Brown Recluse said...

Time spent with your brother really was a gift! I'm so glad you got to have those precious moments. I am praying for you and your family to have peace and comfort during this anniversary. I know He cares...

betty said...

That was a great gift God gave you, Becky, to have that time with your brother the weekend before he passed. It is good too that you have no regrets; it makes it so much more harder to accept the death of someone if there are regrets in the relationship, etc.