Hmmh

My day....skipped church... what a sinner! My nephew is playing fall ball on a travel team. His team plays on Sundays. I am not for it on Sundays but I am for him. We usually miss the first game if it is 10AM because we go to church. Today his games were 10 and 12. So we decided to play hookie and go to both his games. You see my nephew is the light of my life and we have an awesome bond. Well,  he is also the light of my parent's life. My Dad does nothing else during the week but work on used books and go to doctor's appointments. So if he wants to go to the games, I will see to it he is there because he can not drive anymore and my mom hates the interstate. I know where I am spiritually and will not fall because I miss a Sunday or two. I do miss worship and looked for a local church I could go to this evening. Do you know I could not find one locally that had an evening service? Crazy huh!

The ballgames were in my old work stomping grounds. Only 4 miles from where we had our second store for 4 years. We drove down there to get the best pizza in the area since we are never over on that side of the water. We drove past our old location and there is a consignment shop in there now. I could see something across the parking lot that had the word Jesus on it. So I drove up close to read.... Believe in Jesus , John 3:16. This just warmed my heart but made me want to talk to my brother but he is in Glory and I can't. He would love to see that the building is still being used to reflect God's light. How awesome! I miss him so but this just really warmed my heart today.

Mom and I have been attending the Griefshare bible studies at a local large church. It has been great for us both. I went trying to get her some help but it has helped me too. We have 4 other women in our small group and the facilitator. These women tell me every week what a blessing I am to them. I sit back thinking how and why. I am just here sharing my thoughts. These women have lost their husbands and fathers. It does not matter who we have lost , we all have lost and are grieving. It just amazes me that just based on me sharing my feelings on my grief and despair that it has blessed these women. I guess I should not ask why but just allow God to keep working in their lives and mine.

My blood sugar is way out of whack. My physicians assistant is not so nice. She does not listen to me just tells me how it is. There are some background things she needs to know like she gave me a prescription for a med that has a blackbox warning for both chronic heart failure and bladder cancer. I explained to her I dont like the risks. I have family background for heart problems, I dont need greater risks. She went on to ask if I researched the other things she has me on. I told her I had but they didnt have blackbox warnings nor had such risks. She also asked if I was using compression socks at night that she claims she told me about last visit. She did not and I told her she did not mention them too and she basically called me a liar. If this was not a free clinic , I would go elsewhere. She also took credit for my BP being great. She has done nothing to adjust any meds. I have taken the same meds for 5 years that other doctors put me on she just updated the prescription. Well, all this to say she is sending me to endocrinologist now. Hopefully he will have better bedside manner than she does. Pray for me on this.

Furthermore, I am needing prayers on some life/career/ education decisions. I am ready for change and am praying to be led in the right direction. Also need to get the business situation settled. I am tired of it hanging over my head. Also I feel like God is going to use me in a big way soon. I dont know how but I am open and ready. I pray everyday to be a blessing to someone in my path that day... I also pray for the language of the students not to infiltrate into my head... wow these kids use some bad language. I do try to say,... watch your language a lot and usually they respect that and try but not always. Just keep me in your prayers.