As I have pressed on during the last four months of dealing with my brother's death and the responsibilities of the business, I have only succeeded by my faith in God.
I dont understand the reasons, I dont understand the pain. I dont understand the trials and tribulations that keep coming. I just dont understand.
What I do understand is that I would not have survived without God. I know he holds me in his hand and is my guide. It is not easy but I know he holds my future.
The trials keep coming.
What trials you ask?
Closing the bookstore and praying for a buyer of the books to releieve that stress.
My Dads eyes diagnosis.
My own diagnosis that now requires me to take insulin,
Now.... my moms diagnosis of stage zero breast cancer. They have caught it early but it is still cancer.
We will survive. We will continue on and fight with what is left of our family. We will continue to cling to our faith.
Let me tell you though how God works..... I was recommended by my cancer specialists to have a mammogram just based on some past history of pre-cancer. I dont have medical insurance. He gave me the name of an organization to call. Well we played phone tag all summer. Suddenly in November, I get a letter from them that I am scheduled for a mammogram on such and such date in DEcember. I went and was scared. After losing my brother, I was determined I had cancer and was going to die too. Well mine came out ok. My Mom in turn had put off her yearly mammogram for 2 years. Me going for mine encouraged her to schedule hers this year. Well she went and they have found this early. Praise the Lord for that little nudge that made her go get one done right away. Before she even knew her diagnosis, she encouraged her best friend to go get one , who at 70 has never had one. She has not had it yet but is scheduled for one.
While, I am babbling, let me tell you about her best friend. The two of them have been friends for over 50 years.... read that Jen....50 years. They may go months without talking because of busy lives but pick back up like they talked yesterday. Her best friend found out that my Mom was working alone some days because of me having to work and our other employee having another job. Prior to my brother's death, she worked with him all day. Now on certain days there was no one but her. Her best friend found out and has been at the store everyday but Wednesdays just to support my mom with no pay. I have taken off most Wednesdays to be at the store. I mean she is an awesome friend.
Needless to say, this post included a lot of prayer requests that I dont need to repeat. There is one additional one right now.... My sister who is really struggling with God right now on the timing of all these things.
Clinging to the Almighty!