2011 Has to be better...

Some may ask why I post such personal things on here. Well, I consider my blog readers to be friends too. Friends that will lift you when you are down and pray for you on the ups and the downs of life.

I thought my financial situation was turning around. I had talked to most of my companies and made arrangements. One of the companies I made arrangements with sent me a Warrant of Debt today because of missing the October payment. I was under the impression that they would automatically take out this payment every month.Why else would it be called a monthly payment? Why else would he get all my bank information to make auto withdrawals? So when my account rep called I did not think anything of it, I thought he was calling me to remind me that the payment was going through. How nice of him, I thought. Then a few weeks later I get a letter stating my agreement had been breached and they would start legal proceedings. My account rep called again and that is when I was told he would call every month to authorize the payment. I made arrangements for the October and November payments. They took out one of them last week and are supposed to take another out two weeks later. Today , I get home and have a Warrant of Debt from my city with a court date of January 6 concerning this same bill. I am scared and flabbergasted. This was processed October 26.

It is not as if I was dodging them. I have made contact and am trying to pay the bill. Why waste your time on someone who is trying? There are thousands of people not trying. I honestly think if my wages were garnished that it would be less than my monthly payment now.

I sit back thinking what else could possibly go wrong in my life right now. I cant find a full-time job. I am looking. I have applied for marketing jobs, teaching jobs in every city and district around here, day-care jobs. I don't know what else to do. I am substituting every day that I can which has been almost every day but the first two weeks of school.

So my last post talked about me turning to soda in stress. I must confess this evening I have been stress eating. I have had three of those Banquet Salisbury steaks, some Stauffers Mac and Cheese and then the gravy from the Salisbury Steaks was so good that I had to fry some french fries to go with it. I learned that from my few months of working at a steak house. I know it is not healthy but it is comfort food. The only problem, I am not comforted but actually have a headache now. I ate all this while watching the Biggest Loser too. Isn't that sad?

Please pray for some positive changes in my life.

Reflections...

I am sitting here thinking and reflecting on the events of today. I need to give praises.

Thank You Lord.... that my Father had just turned off a major highway and was on a side road.
Thank You Lord... for him not driving my grandfather's car because we never would have heard the end of it.
Thank You Lord....for not hitting any other cars , pedestrians or children playing.
Thank You Lord....for him just stopping at a stop sign. Had he been moving it could have been even worse.
Thank You Lord... for friends and fellow bloggers that give encouragement and prayer.
Thank You Lord....for his defibrillator working.
Thank You Lord.... for his life.

Thank You Lord for everything.

In times of stress...

In times of stress....

Some people turn to alcohol, nope not me
Some people turn to drugs, nope not me
Some people turn to food, used to be me
I turn to soda now.....

My first drink of the day was at the hospital and it was an XL Pepsi from the cafeteria and a small serving of mac and cheese.

A few hours later , I had lunch and the rest of the soda.

I stopped at my sister's and had more soda.

This evening I ate some of my delicious lo-mein like dish that I make with Ramen and leftovers. I did drink water.

Now I want another Pepsi. I know I have it in the car. I keep it in the car because it is least tempting but now I really really want some and am trying not to go to the car.

I am getting desperate enough to even drink the Mountain Dew White Out that I bought for my nephew but I really don't prefer.

When I am not under stress, I really only drink one can a day, if that. When I am under stress, I want soda and more soda and more soda.

No update on my Dad, just that he is in the hospital for observing for the night. I will tell you that my grandfather has made me extremely mad though. I have mentioned that my parents were using his car to drive back and forth to take care of him because it is less on gas but they gave it back to him with his latest craziness with my mom's sister. His neighbor went to check on him when he heard what had gone on this morning when my father was on his way to take my grandfather breakfast. The neighbor told him what happened to my Dad. My grandfather's first statement had nothing to do with my Dad and whether he was alright. His first statement was... I am glad he did not have my car. How inconsiderate and selfish of him. I just sit here shaking my head, even the neighbor was appalled.

Secondly , my sister went by there to check on my grandfather when she went to clear my Dad's car out and look for his teeth. At this time he did inquire about my Dad. She went to hug him and be the better person after the ugly pow-wow a few weeks ago. He snubbed her and turned his head. Then started in on the things from the pow-wow a few weeks ago. She ignored him and left. He thinks she is the reason for his license almost being revoked, she did nothing. He thinks she is trying to put him in a home, she is not. Yes, she called social services but backed out with the attitude if wants to die like this then let him die like this. It is his stubborn decision.

Now that my Dad wont be driving for awhile, it leaves all the pressure of checking on my grandfather 5 days a week to my mother. My Dad was really good about helping her. She can not do that and see to it that my Dad gets to where he has to go, work, and pick my nephew up from school on our days to babysit. So, the question is... Will her sister do what needs to be done.... Probably Not.

UPDATE....

My Dad has been admitted to the hospital for observation for the night. He went into V-TACH which is when the heart rate is going so fast it has nothing else to do but stop. He blacked out from this and then his defibrillator went off. He came to when he hit the pole. His car is totaled. He did not hit anyone else, just a mailbox, driveway and a pole. He was not driving very fast because he does remember stopping at a stop sign before this happened.

He has been charged with reckless driving but most likely the charges will be dropped because of it being medical. Unfortunately because the black out happened while driving his license will be suspended for 6 months. If he does not have another episode with a blackout in those 6 months then his license will be reinstated.

He did lose his bottom false teeth somewhere. We thought it was gone forever because this area is nothing but leaves and gravel. One of the neighbors went over there with a rake and raked the area and found his teeth. We are thankful for that also because he was fortunate enough years ago to get false teeth that fit him perfect. I think this is the same pair he has had for over 30 years.

Thank you Lord for watching over him. Thank you Lord for protecting others that could have been in his path. Thank you Lord for finding his teeth. Praise you for your awesomeness.

Blak Clouds of my life continue...

Leaving right now for the hospital. My dad was going to take my grandfather his breakfast and check on him when his defibrillator went off and he hit a telephone pole. He wasnt going fast but is a little confused. Please pray.

Thanksgiving Menu....

Thanksgiving Menu.....

Crockpot Mac and Cheese
Roasted Squash, Cauliflower, and Brussels Sprouts
Corn
Corn Bread
Stuffing
Brownies
Pecan Chocolate Kahlua Pie
Pork Loin marinated in Garlic and Herb seasonings.....

Yep.... Pork Loin. Since my sister is a nurse we have to work around her holiday schedule. Yes, she chooses Thanksgiving in hope of getting Christmas off. Some years she gets lucky and gets both off, not this year. So, our "real " Thanksgiving is Sunday. We did not want the same foods twice so close together so I made up tomorrow's menu. Just remember pork is the other white meat.

This Thanksgiving is one filled with changes. My grandmother has passed. My grandfather is going with my mom's sister to her daughter's land three and a half hours away. So it is the first Thanksgiving we will be celebrating without either one of them. Keep my mother in your prayers as she endures tomorrow without her mother, father, nor sister. We were supposed to go to her sister's house for Thanksgiving but with all the latest turmoil with her that is the last place we want to be. My cousin also decided she wanted Thanksgiving on her land for the first year there so she invited them but she doesn't have room for the eight of us too. We understand that. They currently have a FEMA trailer and a small barn. Their basement for their new home will begin construction in the spring. She also is three and half hours away. Too long of a drive for one day. Seven hours on Thanksgiving day, wow!

Changes... Changes... Changes but we will make the best of it.

I hope and pray everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving.

Modge Podge Again...

Another post with multiple thoughts....

• I made my crock pot macaroni and cheese again and this time it was not quite as good. There is a reason though. My directions were not followed. I fixed all the ingredients in the crock pot the night before except the noodles. I placed the crock in the refrigerator. My instructions to my mother were to add a box of noodles but make sure the milk covers the noodles then to cook it for four hours. I talked to her during my lunch and that should have been a clue. She said, I did not need to add any milk because the noodles were covered and you could not even see them. I thought nothing of it. When I came home that afternoon, I stirred the mixture and was shocked. The noodles had disintegrated. Then I looked at the counter and noticed the full box of noodles never opened. I pieced it all together, she had never added the noodles. She thought I had already added the noodles and that she needed to add milk. Sometimes I wonder about her. So we had milky cheese soup. I did add the noodles in for the last hour and they did cook but it was not as good as the last time because the cheese had clumped together after cooking for three hours with nothing else to stick to.
• I started my walking back today. I know this is a bad week to start a routine but I could not keep saying, next week and then next week never comes. My mom, nephew and I went for a 20 minute walk in the neighborhood behind our business. Well, we walked and he roller-bladed. It was nice but wherever I go trouble follows, literally. A cute long-haired orange tabby cat was laying in her yard when she spotted my nephew. She evidently loves kids and came out to meet us in the street. I approached her to make sure she was friendly and sure enough she was. She followed us for three blocks until we went back to our business. The cat lover in me was then worried about her finding her way back . I was able to pick her up and love on her. I took her in the store where she was quite intrigued. I then was able to put her in my car and drive her back home. I am now worried that she will find her way back to us because she liked us so much. She really followed my nephew but I was the one who was able to hold her and get her back to where she needed to go.
• Someone asked me last week on motivation techniques. I have only one. It is Sparkpeople.com. You can log your food, which I haven't lately. You can log your exercises and earn points for virtual trophies. Surprisingly enough this does motivate me. When I am walking and exercising, I catch myself thinking about the number of points I will get today for exercising. It is funny though that something I will never physically have can motivate me.
• Update on the situation with my grandfather. He is still staying alone. My mom goes out there five mornings a week to see to it that he has breakfast and some kind of sandwich for the rest of the day. He never eats the sandwich or meal that she leaves, only the breakfast that she cooks. He drinks Ensure the rest of the day. My mom's sister , well she comes on Wednesday night to Thursday morning and for a few hours on Sunday. She had a conversation with my cousin about the will. She claims, if she told her the truth, that the will was not changed. I wont believe her until I see it. What was changed? A living trust was formed giving her full charge of all financial decisions for him while he is alive. At which time he deceases , she then becomes the executor. She claims he asked for this, I don't believe it. He does not even know anything about a living trust. She convinced him of this when she found out it was true that he had looked into removing her from the will. This guarantees her spot in the will and gives her full control of him and the money. She must be in full control. This also prevents my mother and family from making any decisions while she is on one of her many vacations should something happen to him. She still feels we told the ER to admit both of them in April for no reason and that neither one of them were sick. He did not have pneumonia and stay in a week and my grandmother did not leave under hospice care and pass away a week later. Nope, all that was not necessary according to her. The ER just admitted them because we told them to according to her. As for his driver's license. His doctor refused to sign the papers to send to the DMV to renew his license. He went off on the doctor who then walked out. Somehow, she found another doctor to sign the needed paperwork. So at 96.5 , he can drive according to the law. She is the only one in the family who thinks he can. He drove Halloween weekend and hit something because his car is scratched and dented. He cant hear and he cant walk but he can press the gas and maneuver a car, according to her. I do not trust his driving . I pray he does not hurt anyone else when he does drive.

Well that is it for the moment..... Toodles.