JellyBellyBegone

Go even if you dont want to...

2012-02-15T17:43:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had something you were supposed to go to but just did not want to?

This evening it was our church's annual Valentine's dinner at the local rescue mission. I did not want to go. It is always a little awkward and I was having an all about me mind set. I went anyways. Our church cook always makes a roast beef dinner around Valentine's Day that we serve to the 20-25 men staying at the mission . Then, we join them once they are served. I sat beside one church member but still surrounded by 3 older African American men. I tried to talk. They did not talk back much. They gestured or laughed at me. Well, they laughed at about everything I said. You know what... I am a substitute teacher.Them laughing was what I put up with all day. I am immune, I have tough skin.. These men were not laughing at me though they were laughing because they thought I was comical. I wasn't trying to be comical ,I was trying to conversate. Then at the end one of the three men smiled at me and said..... You have brightened my day. Thank You. I almost cried.

Thank You Lord for nudging me to go. Thank you for allowing me to be a bright spot to these men who are going through tough times. I think my times are tough but theirs are tougher. Thank you helping me remember silly stories that had to do with some of the gifts we gave them. Thank you for making me comical on a night I did not want to go at all. I pray that these men saw your light in those few minutes I was able to talk to them.

I also passed out valentine chocolates to them all. One of the men in my church started to help but decided to stop because he saw the men's faces light up when I gave them the candy and spoke to them while doing so. He came up to me later and told me why he stopped. I was embarrassed because I am a large full-figured woman, why would they care but they did.

I walked in dreading going but deciding to make the best of it by trying to bless them. I walked away more blessed than them.

Quick

2012-02-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

I am still alive. Had a rough and busy weekend.I will post about it later when my big computer is working again.. Just keep my Dad in your prayers,

I went to the Y this evening .I was looking forward to some steamed zucchini tonight with a tadbit of olive oil butter and Mrs.Dash. I pulled the pack out that I bought from BJ's yesterday.I started slicing when I discovered it looked a lot like its twin vegetable, the cucumber. Well it was a cucumber and now I have 5 f them and am so disappointed.

Relief.....

2012-02-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

I can hear clearly now the pressure's gone
I can hear all the obstacles in my ear.

I know that is bad lyrics for a good song but it has been a LONG week with pressure in my ears that would not pop. I was miserable.

My left ear popped on Wednesday. I was very happy but still felt like I was in a barrel talking. I could hear noise around me unless you were talking directly to me. I could not hear you right in front of me and found out that I don't lip read very well.My new favorite saying of the week was ..."HUH"

I did everything I could to get the right ear to pop with no success. Whatever I did would make the other pop. This afternoon that ear was bothering me and I was considering going to the doctor. I decided to hold my nose and try one more time this evening before heading out to a concert. This time it worked and I was so glorious. I sang the lyrics to the song above after it popped.

The icing on the cake was later at the concert. We went to hear and see the St.Olaf choir. They were excellent. Their music was slower than what I like but the harmony was great and 90% of it glorified God. What a great evening for that after finally being able to hear clearly after a week of barrel talking.

Thank You, Jesus for fixing my ear.

By the way, if the St. Olaf choir comes to your area.... Go see them. They were great and talented. These tickets were a Christmas present to my Mother and she loved it.I think it was her best gift.

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-31T18:28:00.000-08:00

I DID IT! I DID IT!

I made a commitment on January 2 to be active at least 10 minutes a day for the month of January.

Believe me , some days I did not want to do it but I got my butt up and did something. Last week when that cold kicked my butt, I still got up and did something. That something may have been walking, goign to the Y or just simply stepping or dancing in front of the television.

Total fitness minutes in January...675.

I do not have a total weight loss for January but I can tell you that I have lost 12 pounds since last being weighed around Thanksgiving.

Encourage me, please.

I am falling apart...

2012-01-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

Help me! I am falling apart!

Last Sunday....sneezing alot.
Last Monday....sneezing and runny nose.
Last Tuesday through Friday.... full blown cold so bad Idid not even work all week.
Last Thursday to present.... bad head congestion and ear congestion.
Today.... soar throat, soar neck and congestion.

I just want to feel better.

Word of the Day!

2012-01-23T16:58:00.000-08:00

FUNERALIZE

fu·ner·al·ize. verb \ˈfyün(ə)rəˌlīz\. -ed/-ing/-s. Definition of FUNERALIZE. dial. transitive verb. : to hold a funeral or memorial service for

I had someone tell me they funeralized their sister in October. I was flabbergasted at the word thinking it was slang or a make believe word. I looked it up and it really exists.

The other definition is to officiate a funeral.

Learn something new every day.

Raisin Bran Muffins

2012-01-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

I made these this evening and they were delicious. I was looking for something to grab and go for breakfast. Hope they are as good in the morning as they were warm this evening. Next time I may cut the sugar back a little. I don't like to bake but these were simple, to me at least.

Raisin Bran Muffins.

3 cups raisin bran

2 cups vanilla soy milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda dissolved in 1/4 cup of water

Directions:

Grease muffin pan
preheat oven to 375
Combine first all ingredients in a bowl and mix together
bake for 20 minutes

Number of Servings: 24

I am still alive

2012-01-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

Wow! I did not realize I had not posted in 10 days. I have been meaning to do it for several nights but then get busy and don't. Also my new keyboard's space key is not very good. I have to press hard to get it to work or spend lots of time correcting what I typed.

I joined a challenge on sparkpeople.com that challenges me do some kind of physical activity every day for 10 minutes in the month of January. I am proud to announce this is day 6. I also have been to the Y , three times since Tuesday. On the days I have to force myself to get up and do something, I choose to walk or dance in front of the television for those 10 minutes. Most of these times I have kept going for longer than 10 minutes. Go Me!

Today I went to the Y for family day in the pool. I tried to swim some laps but had to stop because my swimsuit was falling off. I have a two piece, no not a bikini, and the two piece is getting a wee bit big. So every time I swam the pants would fall off. I was so proud of myself for trying but have to find my old one-piece before I try that again.

I had a blonde moment this evening. I have to check a website to look for schools for me to substitute at on any given day. Well I called the # this afternoon instead of doing it online. I accepted a job at my least favorite middle school. I thought it was a two day job for Wednesday and Thursday. I kept refreshing the page this evening looking for a job for tomorrow. I kept getting " No Jobs Available at this time." I was getting frustrated. I went back to look at my future jobs and noticed that job was for tomorrow not Wednesday. I was getting stressed for nothing. Now I just need positions for Wednesday through Friday.

Well, that is it for me at the moment. My bed is calling me.

My personal nag....

2011-12-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

I did not realize how much it bothered my nephew that I was in the ER on Christmas morning until yesterday.

Back up to Christmas Day.....I get to his house and immediately go lay down after leaving ER. It was requested that I try to go to the other room for our family Christmas, that lasted about 10 minutes before I had to go lay down again. He came in the room with me and was playing his new Just Dance 3 while I rested. I went home around 1 and slept all afternoon. I returned to his house for Christmas dinner around 6:30 feeling a little better. He asked if it was ok if he could sit by me on the couch. I told him I was not sick sick but was sick on the insides. He came and sat with me until dinner.

After dinner, he came in the kitchen and took the last Pepsi. I was joking with him that I was going to drink that. He went in the next room and brought me another one. I told him that was sweet but Aunt Becky was just teasing him and because of my tummy right now that I can not have Pepsi, just water and non-carbonated drinks. Little did I know that this information was stored in his little brain and would come back to bite me three days later.

We went to Putt-Putt and Arcade yesterday. He and I had not had lunch so I ordered us some lunch and sodas. Oh no, I asked for a Pepsi. He sat there having a literal hissy fit that I ordered a Pepsi and I was not supposed to drink Pepsi. I did try to get a non-carbonated drink but they only had Gatorade. He kept getting louder and louder and more persistent. Then he said, " Aunt Becky, you remember you had to go to the hospital on Christmas Day because of problems with your tummy. You told me you cant have Pepsi and you are not going to have one now." That statement showed that it must have really effected him by me missing Christmas and being in the ER. So, to his much persistence, I changed my order to water. He was happy.

Wow is all I could say on how persistent the little booger was.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Mine started off in the ER with stomach pains which I suspected was a UTI. I was right. I have been sleeping most of the day. I missed out on my nephew's Christmas but had to be where I needed to be. I see him everyday and that is a blessing.

Random

2011-12-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

I have been battling bronchitis for the past few weeks and have been exhausted because of lack of sleep because of coughing. I thought I was getting over it and really wanted a milkshake. I ordered a small one. BIG MISTAKE. Chocolate plus sugar plus milk product when having bronchitis equal coughing ALL NIGHT. Lesson learned.

I also have had the munchies. I opened the refrigerator about 50 times to the same nothingness.I thought that if I kept opening it that the refrigerator light bulb man would run to the grocery store and put some better food in it. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. Bad refrigerator light man.

Well that is it for me for the moment. I had something else to post but I forgot what it was .I think I left it in the refrigerator with the little light bulb man. Maybe if I go open it one more time the light will come on and I will remember what I was going to post about. HAHA!

When things were quiet...

2011-12-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

Things have been quiet..... then she struck again.

The crazy woman just called here in tears. My Mom asked her why was she in tears yet again. Her response was you have Daddy's money and I am the executor and I have to have it. The money in question is the wallet that my grandfather gave my Mother with the instructions to keep it until which time the estate is settled. If she does what is right then my Mother is to split it, if she does not do what was right then my Mother was to keep it. My Mother informed her that it was a gift with specific instructions and until the time comes she is the one who will keep the instructions and the wallet. Then her husband got on the phone stating he was calling the lawyer to make my Mother legally turn over the money because they have a signed letter that she was given the purple bag. Well the purple bag does not contain the money. The purple bag , he removed the money from and put in his wallet and then gave the wallet to my mother as a gift with strings attached.

Several people have told us to watch out for her husband because they think he is shady and after the money... him getting on the phone today has proven that right. This is not his business.

Why?

2011-11-25T15:48:00.000-08:00

Why ?

Why is it that the people that are closest to you hurt you the most?

:( Hurt twice this week deep by family members. Not the crazy lady this time.

Happy Thanksgiving !

2011-11-24T20:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all my three bloggers!

How was my strange Thanksgiving? Very nice overall but very different.

The day started at 7:30 with a phone call that my Brother-In-Law needed a ride to the hospital so that he could drive my sister home who had just passed out at work. I was flabbergasted because she had only been at work for an hour. I took him not knowing she was still in the ER and I would have my nephew for most of the day. I do love him so I did not mind. In the long run, she was dehydrated which caused her sugar level to go off whack and she passed out. In the mean time, because of her previous infection they wanted to make sure there was no infection anywhere else so that ordered a CT scan. Once again because of a wild freak inconsistency in her blood sugar and dehydration, a test was run looking for one thing and found something else. They discovered that she has a fatty liver and needs to see a specialist on Monday. This was unrelated to her dehydration that caused her to pass out today. God knew.

I then came home with him , did some things around the house, cooked and watched the parade.

They still were not home by noon. We had signed up to go serve the needy at the Y , so we took munchkin with us. He did not want to go. He only had to serve a few people but he had such a great attitude about helping. At the end, he was hungry and ate a plate of food. When he says he is hungry, we feed him because he rarely says he is hungry.

Lastly, we ended up at my brother's house for ......no, not turkey but chili and clam chowder. I was not looking forward to this and I have my reasons but it turned out to be a nice evening even without the stuffing and turkey. I will get that on Sunday with the big family gathering.

I did miss having my stuffing on Thanksgiving today and was contemplating going to the store for Stove Top but I did not. The neighbors were frying a turkey and I was tempted to steal it when they went inside but I did not. It smelled so good.

So Sunday , when you are tired of your leftovers and scrunge your face at the thought of turkey or possibly you are eating turkey chili. Remember me when I will just be celebrating with that tasty food and it will be hot and fresh.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Where have I been?

2011-11-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

Where have I been?

Well, Very busy with a project idea that I experimented with Super Glu but had to break down and buy a hot glue gun. It was well worth the $2.49.

Tada! THis is the finished project . Just turn your head sideways because as smart as I am with technology, I did not move this to another program to flop it. Sorry.

They are about 8" tall made out of bells from the Dollar Tree. Ornaments from a discount store. Ribbon mainly from Dollar Tree. Total costs without the cost of the glue gun is less than $3 a piece. This picture does not do their beauty justice. They are beautiful. I have made 13 of them as of tonight and have sold two of them at our business for $8 a piece. The silver is my favorite. I will post a pic later of that one. I have materials for at least 10 more.

If you are on my list, you know what you are getting, :)

FYI

2011-11-19T20:52:00.000-08:00

Some useless information you may need one day if you decide to use SupeGlu from the Dollar Store.

FIRST...Don't use SuperGlu from the dollar store. It sticks to your fingers way more than the object you are gluing.

SECOND...Don't believe what the first Internet search turns up for getting SuperGlu off hands. Laundry detergent and warm water don't work.

THIRD...My bright idea of Listerine does not work either.

FOURTH.... Do listen to the second Internet search and try salt with a little of water. It took 80% of the glue off the 8 of 10 fingers that were superglued.

At least my fingers are comfortable enough to live with for the next few days. I was miserable.

Getting back in the groove

2011-11-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

I went back to the doctor for a diabetes check up. I was disappointed because the scale did not show that I had lost weight. Yet, my clothes are too big and people are telling me they can tell I have lost weight.

I did not let this discourage me though. I decided to start going back to the Y and I did. I only went for 30 minutes but it was a start.

I did observe a water aerobics class I used to take and am going to start going after Thanksgiving. I did reactivate my weight training account and will start back with that the next time I go.

I did decided to take some of my Thanksgiving Day and help serve the lonely and homeless at the Y on that day. We dont celebrate until Sunday , anyways.

All this trying to be encouraged and then lost it when the doctor does not like my numbers and wants to increase meds as soon as he gets my A1C checked again. In August it was an 11 and it should be a 6.

Just a health update for anyone that cares.

It's back.....

2011-11-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

My older computer with the big screen and the bigger keyboard is back temporarily. I will only be using it to type things because the computer is old and slow. Real slow but for typing it beats the mini.

I do have good news to report.

Though I have not weighed myself, I am having to give away two pair of pants that are way too big. I bought them a size too big a few years ago but got away with them being slightly too big. I bought them too big because I bought them online and usually their clothes run small. These did not but if I had bought the next size down then they probably would have been slightly too small. Well I wore them the other day and spent most of my day pulling them up. So, showing some improvement.

I bought two shirts recently, one my size and one a size larger because that is all they had and I loved the shirt. Well both shirts are too big, one just big and the other way too big. I wear it anyways.

I know mentally I need to buy the next size down but I have not needed that size in so long that it is hard and then I worry about it being too small and wasting my money. If it is too big I can still wear it, you know.

No lectures please on the fact that stores have fitting rooms. I HATE trying on clothes. Really I HATE trying on clothes and that is being nice about it.

A Nice Gesture....

2011-11-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

It really was a nice gesture to make a sympathy note for your teacher who lost her Father that week BUT.......get a dictionary.

This is what it said, word for word. It was nicely stenciled too.

Outside: Sorry for your lost...

Inside: But it was his time to go on and become an angle.

Yes, this was someone at least in the 9th grade. Sad thing is it is also my Alma Mater. We were taught good, can't you tell.

Kudos for her having a great heart and making the card for her teacher.Kudos for giving me my laugh for the day. Her math teacher should be proud. I have seen many images of Heavenly Angels but have yet to see a Heavenly Angle. Maybe she knows more than we know, who knows.

Quiet...

2011-11-10T16:58:00.000-08:00

I know I have been quiet lately. It is not because of lack of things to post. I have plenty but I am still on the mini-laptop and not happy about it. I tried two used keyboards on the main computer and they were both bad then the mouse went bad too. Oh Boy!

So the latest thing my mom's sister has done to send us in a tizzy.....

We had grandchildren day last Sunday. All of the grandchildren went up at some point and took the things we wanted. I took some knickknacks and then requested the antique tea cart if no one else wanted it. My Sister did want it but is going to take it until I have a place of my own because she knows I did not take much. My sister took some things. My brother and sister-in-law took some things. My cousin took a lot. I mean a lot. She has not had a house for 2 years so she took a lot of dressers and furniture. My Mom's sister kept saying,, Well after the grandkids are gone there will not be anything to sell at an estate sale. Then she got even more upset when my decided to take the antique sewing machine. She knew it was worth a lot of money but it really was not. Her husband followed us all in the house watching every item that we were taking. That was not his business.

Well she called today and accused the grandchildren of taking things to sell and that she was not talking about her daughter. So once again she makes accusatory statements about my Mother's family. None of us took anything to sell, We took a few things to put in out homes so they would not be sold and stayed in the family. We all also agreed should we not want something years down the road that we would offer it to another family member before selling it or giving it away. Where out of all this she decided that we were trying to make a profit off my grandparents belongings, I don't know. See she is the one trying to make the profit,. My Mom finally finished the conversation by saying.....Once again, you are making accusations that are untrue about my family members and my family members would not take something that I could make a profit with to benefit themselves.

This woman is unbelievable. She wouldn't even let the man that stayed with my grandfather for a few weeks for free take some old barrels from the garden. She was going to make him buy them. The things I have found for sale are unbelievable. An empty Glade glass from a candle,an empty Yankee Candle glass. It is crazy.

Time is ticking until we are done with her... and my Mom still has not seen the will.

Dont judge...

2011-11-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

This is for the woman at the movie theater line who gave me such a pitiful look when I told my nephew that I could not afford to take him to the movie that afternoon. See, we had already decided to go to the kids playhouse with a mouse. We only walked down to the theater to see if a certain movie was playing yet. I can afford to take him to a regular movie but not the $4 extra per ticket because it was only in 3D. He does not like it in 3D anyways. He told me he would like to see it so we walked down there to see the times. I was not expecting it to be $11.50 a ticket because of 3D. If you need a calculator that is $23 for two of us for an hour and a half movie with no snacks.If you add snacks, it would have been over $33. I had a coupon for the mouse place. You see for two dollars more than just the ticket price,we had 2 hours of fun plus a snack and drinks and I have half the tokens left to go another time. Win on my part. We get to go another time and I only have to buy a soda or snack.

Just so you know ,lady, I did offer him to go to a regularly priced movie that he also wanted to see but he told me that yes he wants to see it but he would rather go to the mousey place.

So next time, dont be so judgmental with your looks and make me feel guilty. He had fun anyways and gets to have fun again with the little money I did have. Maybe next time you want to give the looks maybe you should go into your pocket and help pay or eavesdrop on the whole conversation before giving judgmental looks. You only heard one part.

Fat fingers....

2011-10-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

u already know i m trying 2 get rid of my jellybelly. it should come to no surprise to you that i have fath fingers. WHAT!

I left a water cup out by the computer over night and the mischievous cat spilled it on my keyboard. It is messed up which leaves me on the mini laptop. Mini laptops are for skinny people. My fat fingers hit all the wrong keys on the keyboard on the mini.Thus u r getting my shorthand a lot.

I can not post what is on my mind or n mylife because I hit two keys at once adn end up misspellign or having other things popup by accidentally doing shortcuts i dont know about.

so bare with my til i get the new keyboard. i can tell u things are rough in the family. thanks for the email for being concerned.

please keep praying 4 my mom....more 2 come soon.

Pappy was Happy

2011-10-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

Pappy was happy today. Pappy is what my nephew called my grandfather. My nephew was an honorary pallbearer. He walked with his Daddy and then behind the casket at the grave site. I was so proud of him.

We went back to the grave site to release some balloons my cousin forgot at the funeral. It was a huge beautiful butterfly.

On the way home, we stopped by Putt-Putt Arcade as a reward for how great my nephew was today. My Mom felt weird going there on the day she buried her Father but also agreed it would be good for my nephew. We only went in for 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes, my nephew won the jackpot on one of the games and won 450 tickets. At the arcade you exchange your tickets for prizes.Sometimes we are there an hour and never get close to that number. He was so excited. I mean so excited.

I got in the car and told my nephew and Mom that Pappy was so happy that he rewarded Cameron today with all those tickets. You see these tickets are like money to a kid. My grandfather LOVED money. So Pappy was happy for Cameron today.

My smirk said it all....

2011-10-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

My smirk said it all... Yes, it did. I walked down for the processional behind my parents with this really weird smirk on my face. I know the congregation thought it was strange but it was a victory smirk. I know that sounds horrible at a funeral but yes it was a victory smirk but it was not just for me it was for my grandfather too. It was a " See What We Did to Make Her Mad" smirk.

Well, they started to line us up to walk down the church. She , you know the crazy lady , had told the funeral director that the grandchildren should be lined up oldest to youngest with their families. One problem, that left me on the end with no one. I had already asked my Mother if she wanted me beside her because I know my Dad is not a "comforter". She said yes. The crazy lady was having no part of this. It had to be oldest to youngest. Why? Because her kids would be first because my brother , the second oldest was upstairs doing the sound system. How convenient, her kids first, even in the obituary, her kids first. She kept insisting and so did the funeral director. All four of us that were downstairs took a stand and refused. The director was at a loss. She kept fussing and was holding up the funeral fussing. So my cousins took two steps forward and told her ok we will go oldest to youngest. She was happy. Once she started down the aisle with her husband, we changed the order back around to where I was with my Mom, then my cousins and their family and my sister last with her family because she chose to be.

Ohh, the look on her face when she looked down the pew to see that I was not her son. That face scrunched all up with disapproval. I looked at her with my smirk and grinned from ear to ear. We trumped her. Then I was thinking Saxe you would be so proud, we got her. The last few weeks he almost hated her and definitely regretted his anger decision a few months ago towards my Mom. Like I said, it was too little too late but oh he would have loved to have seen that face too.

She is such a control-freak hung up on the "oldest child " syndrome. That is what she says to my Mother all the time. I am the oldest child. I was born first. So this little stand we took may seem small to most families but it was huge to us. It meant, #1 we are tired of the control, #2 we are tired of her putting such importance on the first born pecking order #3 we were tired of her and #4 we were all united and she was not winning. She did not win this battle. Oh she thought she did until she looked left and saw it did not go her away. She stewed the whole funeral. It was so worth it.

Side note.... My father proved me a little wrong. I said that he was not a "comforter". Well during the funeral, I was the one comforting my Mom with my arm around her. I was planning on walking down the aisle with her and holding her hand while he walked with his walker. He shocked us all at the recessional. He took his walker with one hand then reached out for hers and held her hand down the aisle with the walker. That made me cry even more. My Dad just does not do that. I was so proud of him ......well until he pooted in the limousine.

Had to leave you with a chuckle.

Well not really. One more thing. My grandfather gave my Mother his prized wallet weeks ago full of money. Almost 10 grand. He told her to keep it until the will is read. If the will is read that everything should be 50/50 then they should split it. If the will is not read that way, my Mom is to keep it until which time her sister did what was right. If she did not do right then my Mom was to keep it as a gift. On the limo ride home from the cemetery , her sister asked for the wallet. She said it either it needed to be split or put in the trust. My Mom simply said that she had just buried her father and wishes not to discuss such things on this day. Her sister was peeved again. She will be even more peeved when she has the notarized last wishes written by my grandfather 5 weeks ago put in her face at the reading of the will.

Tired....

2011-10-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am beyond tired tonight and have tomorrow to get through too. Maybe when I am not so tired I will link his obituary.

I could tell you stories to make your head spin. Here are a few quickies.

Crazy woman was on another vacation when he passed. She was shocked he died while she was gone. HELLO! He was in hospice.
Crazy woman was on a bus tour across New England when he died and could not get an immediate flight home so she and her husband rented a car and drove 10 hours.
While they were driving she refused for the funeral home to come remove the body. She needed to see him. She needed to lay on him and have a pity party.
It had been almost 15 hours by the time she made it to the house.
She could care less that the rest of the family was at the house all day with a dead body in the next room. It is all about her.
I had to go to funeral home to take a picture because she forgot, you know the executor in charge of everything.
I had to referee the rest of that appointment.
They would ask her a question and the answer would be something that was not asked.
The funeral director was so overwhelmed with her that he forgot to offer the use of the powerpoint and cd.
He pulled me to the side and asked about the pianist and organist because he forgot that too in all the confusing questions, discussions and arguments during the arrangements.
I scared the funeral home director because she signed the paperwork and I told him he was a fool for letting a person with Alzheimer's sign a legal document that had to do with $11 grand. His eyes were huge when I told him.
The cemetery man pulled my Mom back in to initial his documents because he was so flabbergasted at her sister's behavior. He said ... something is wrong with her.
On her 10-12 hour drive from her vacation the day he died. She called the realtor and is putting the house back on the market next week. He is not even in the ground yet.
She refused to allow deep dark red flowers in the fall arrangement for his casket topper. She showed up for visitation in a deep dark red suit.
She told one of our visitors that she was with him the two days before he died. She left Sunday morning at 6:15 AM. That means the last time she saw him was Saturday morning because Saturday night to Sunday morning was my Mom's shift. He died Wednesday morning. Does that add up? How can she be in two places at one time.
She asked her cousin of 74 years at the visitation if his brother was coming. He is an only child.
My grandparents had a set of friends for 70 years of their marriage. Everyone knew them. All of us. They were at everything we did. She asked my Mom who the man was tonight.

I have more...... We have discussed the option of filing the incompetent suit because of this craziness. At this moment it has been vetoed. Why? It would draw things out and at this point we are ready to be done with her. So, unless she just goes completely loopy next week, my family will put up with anything in order to be done. As much as I love my grandfather, it is time for all this to end. He deeply regretted what he did with the will and her being executor but it was too little too late. I personally think that is one reason he hung on so long was so he could change things. She argued again that my grandfather forced her to go to the lawyer. He didn't put a gun at her head. My Mom just reminds her that he asked my Mother to do the same the month before and remove her sister. Then my Mom says... I had too much integrity, as for you... you have none.
She stands there looking dumb.

Please pray that this is a fast process. ( I want it to be fast but still think calling the realtor and setting up appointments the day he died is ridiculous. The body was not even cold yet .) I know this will not be peaceful, so now I just pray for speed. The sooner it is done , the sooner it is done.

Off to bed, long day tomorrow.

BEEDABO!

2011-10-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

BEEDABO! A nickname given to me from my grandfather when I was knee high to a grasshopper. Only he was allowed to call me that. My late Uncle Leroy would try and I would tell him he could not do that, only my grandfather. My cousin would tease me but he knew better. I outgrew that name over time. As you age , you get embarrassed about nicknames.

BEEDABEEDABOBO BEEDABEEDABO! Sounds similar. I was flabbergasted when out of the blue my nephew started singing this to me. He knew nothing about my nickname. It was words he just came up with. I have him recorded on my phone singing this. I then told him what my nickname was and he laughed and will occasionally sing this to me. I don't get mad because I am fascinated.

I write all this to say that on Sunday I went to visit my grandfather and he was not doing well. It was just a week before I visited him and he referred to me as BEEDABO again out of the blue. That will be the last time I ever hear him say that in person because it will always be a memory now. My grandfather went to be with Jesus this morning. He is happy and rejoicing. We are sad.

We had good times and we had a LOT of bad times. He made mistakes, he regretted some mistakes. One of his mistakes was showing favoritism to the oldest grandchild and to the youngest grandchild, myself. The other three were ignored. See he really favored grandchild #1, the other 3 were second fiddle and then when I came along years and years later he tried to change. The other three have dealt with it , forgiven and moved on. This is good.

In the end, all that matters is he was the best grandfather he knew how to be.

Saxe April 14, 1914 to October 12, 2011 REJOICE Saxe you are with Jesus and Marie (FeFe)

Pumpkin Patch Fun

2011-10-09T19:26:00.000-07:00

I took my nephew to a local corn maize and pumpkin patch. The maze was nothing small. In an hour and a half all we did was walk and walk and walk. After all that time we had only completed half the maze. Good thing I had been walking a lot lately. I am completely exhausted. It was a great day.

Grin and Bear It...

2011-10-03T18:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

I was in a home ec class today. My last class had 28 regular ed students and 4 special ed students with their teacher's assistant. It was a 6th grade class, not my favorite. There was one overweight child in with the special ed students that would just get up and walk around. On one of her trips around the classroom, she walked up to me and out her face in my face. OK, a little bin uncomfortable for me, she is now in my personal space. Then she says to me...." You need to go on a diet and exercise program so you can be skinny like me." I stood there with no response. Nothing I could have said would have made a difference anyways. I did want to say.... You think you are skinny. HAHA! I did not though. I just put a big grin on my face and went with it.

Changes....

2011-10-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

My mind is changing. I went to our local fall festival. The highlight of the festival is usually the food. I usually get butterfly fries, roasted corn, soda, and some other fried or fattening food. The only thing fried that appealed to me were fresh mini doughnuts. So I knew that would be ok as a splurge and I would be sharing with my Mother and nephew. So I looked for what I wanted to eat. Nothing was appealing to me but grilled chicken teriyaki.This was appealing to me because at the chinese restaurants this is fried but here it is grilled. It was delicious. I chose to get the roasted corn which was great too. I did get the dozen mini doughnuts with cinnamon sugar but I shared them. Oh they were delicious fresh and warm. Almost like being at Krispy Kreme when the Hot Doughnuts Now sign is on. As for the soda... I brought my own water with a lemonade packet. Go me! Not only did this save me calories but money. Since I eat at home so much I dont like to pay money for what I can make at home. I especially dont like to pay ridiculous money for fair food I can cook at home. I will spend it , however, on things I dont usually cook at home. I don't cook grilled chicken teriyaki because I have yet to find a sauce that is not sweet. I do not roast corn at home, too much trouble. I do not cook mini doughnuts at home, I would be in so much trouble if I did.

I did walk my butt of to get to all the exhibits and have been walking at least a mile almost everyday. My legs can feel it in the muscle that has been awaken by walking harder and longer.

The best part of my mind changing..... The highlight was not the food but watching and enjoying my nephew as he played in the hay maze and enjoyed the old time exhibits.

Stories from the job....

2011-09-27T18:41:00.000-07:00

Met a young woman in a freshman class who asked me if I had children. I replied with no but may adopt some day. She asked if I would adopt her. I laughed it off and told her I would want a younger child so I could show them about life and take them places. She said, I have not been many places or done many things. I chuckled and said good try and she laughed too. I then listened to her conversations with her friends. She lives with her brother because she asked him to please file for custody of her because her mother was not caring for her and she knew her older brother would. He did. My heart broke.
Talked to a senior today. I overheard him say something about working two jobs. I was flabbergasted and asked him about it. He said his Mother wanted to go back to school to be a nurse so he works two jobs so she wont have to work as much and go to school. He gets up and works at a manufacturing facility from 4-6 AM then goes to school from 7 AM to 2 PM. He then heads to a fast food joint to work from 3-10. Then goes home, does his homework and goes to bed. My heart broke.
Talked to another senior today. She is very active in school. Her part-time job ended with the business closing. She is worried because her parents are down on their luck and she feels she needs to work to help them with the rent. My heart broke.
Talked to a junior the other day. Her goal is to become an RN. She wants to make enough money to get her mother and herself out of public housing. She wants to care for her Mom who is on disability and not have her depend on the government to care for her for everything and provide for everything. My heart broke.

I never had all these pressures. I did start working early but that was for my WANTS. My parents had enough to provide for my NEEDS but struggled. I knew if I WANTED something I needed to buy it. No pressures to provide for the family. I was blessed.

Now the head turning story.....

I had a computer class. I am harder on computer and business classes because I try to leave a good reputation because this is my area of teaching. One student decided he wanted to surf the net and not do his work on the computer. I know this teacher, I know what she expects. I was not going to look bad for him playing and not watching what he is doing. I was on his back. After the 4th warning, he still decided to play. There were others playing too and I was reprimanding them too but he was the worst. I warned him, if I come back over here again and you are on the Internet, I am going to log you off then you can explain to your teacher why you have not completed anything. He looked at me and said " F*&% OFF". Then he spelled it for me too. I told him thanks for the spelling now I know exactly how to spell it on the referral form. He was shocked I wrote him up. See, I actually don't hear the cussing anymore when they are talking to each other but when you say it at me and in my face, oh yeah, I hear it. I had the form taken to the proper principal. I went back around the room where he was still on the Internet. I told him , " Hey B, I am really disappointed you did that. You have always been ok when I have had you in classes." That turned into that it was my fault for riding his back about the Internet and his work. MY FAULT.... Ok, MY FAULT that you have gone against authority and ignored your assignment to play on the Internet. His teacher returned early from her field trip and he was nailed not only by me, but her and now has to deal with administration with his language. Time to grow up and be accountable for your own actions.
The thing of it is , I am pretty laid back. As long as you are attempting your work. I don't care what you do as long as it is legal, orderly and quiet. There are some teachers that I know so I have to be firm because I know their expectations. This was one of them. Oh and after 4 warnings, wouldn't you take the hint that I am watching you. I think he knows I am not playing next time.

Another situation, a Mother came in to reinstate her child from suspension. She was mad because no one could meet with her for another 30 minutes. It was written in her letter that they could not talk to her until after a certain time but she came before that time anyways. She was hostile and mad that no one could meet with her. Well the administrators are in the hallways, doing their morning duties. There is a reason they gave the woman a certain time. She was raged and left with her child. She said she has to work for a living and her son only did something stupid. Well your son did enough to get suspended and why not be mad at him for the suspension. He is the reason you had to come in there, not administration. Oh, and what moral did it give him for you to get mad and leave with him. It is just another day that he is not in class learning. Use your brain, Mom.

Ohhh, the things I hear.

Trying to do better

2011-09-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to do better with eating and exercising. I am working more veggies into my diet. If you remember, last year I struggled big time with my lunches. I have been packing a salad every day . A good salad. I like beets, onions, cukes, peppers and chick peas in my salad. I make a fresh one every night.

To make it easier to eat healthy and not make getting lunches ready such a chore, I have created a shortcut. I took one of our larger mixing bowls and I store all of my salad ingredients for my salads in that bowl. SO every night when I go to pack lunch. I just have to pull that one bowl out and everything is all together. I only have to slice things. This has been so much easier than looking for all of the individual items all over the refrigerator. I know I could cut down more time by pre-cutting all the veggies but they get limp so fast that way.

The funny thing is when I am enjoying my lunch in the teacher's lounge, all the other teachers are envious.

My other big secret is pickles. I have been eating a lot of pickles, Claussen to be exact. I get the crisp and the salt of snack foods with none of the fat.

Anyone have other suggestions that they would like to share that may help me?

My body, My soul....

2011-09-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

The Lord has been working on my heart and mind about my body and its state of being at the moment. I have been trying to adjust my eating to lower my blood sugar. I do good most days and sometimes I think I am ok then check it and it is high. I have cut out my sodas. I may have one a week which is better than one a day. I have tried diet, don't like, wont drink it. I would rather have water.

In the mean time, I have just been burdened with my weight. Is it really a reflection of God and how he wants me to be? A book reappeared beside my recliner. It is called Fat, Fit and Fabulous. I have had it for a few years but never read it. I have been reading it but wont tell you that it has wowed me into eating and exercising. It has however given me food for thought, no pun intended. God did not intend for us not use our bodies. They were not created to sit. Why would we need all that muscle? We were meant to move. The book is a hard read because it is written by an Scottish doctor and is written sometimes with the Scottish dialect, it is not American simple English. She weighed over 230 pounds and is short. She started going to the gym and decided she wanted to run a marathon and later moved onto wanting to compete the Iron Man. She never became skinny. She realized it wasn't about the weight but about keeping our bodies fit.

This book really has had me thinking and reflecting. I did start walking again this past week but them we had one rainy week. I tried one day to do my Leslie Sansone Walk Away DVD but couldn't find my new one and gave up that day. I tried the next day and only found her Firming DVD. I did it anyway and was sore the next day. On Saturday I decided I would find one of her regular walking DVDs and I did and walked a mile. I am sore now too. It feels great when you finish. So why am I so lazy about getting started? Just the thought of it , really.

My new goal is to walk 4 out of 7 days the next few weeks. In a few weeks I want to start swimming again at the Y a few nights a week. I can do this, God wants me to. I need to put aside my own concerns and realize I am being faithful to God by taking care of my body which he has given to me.

As for two other books that have crossed my path and popped out to me which I will begin this week: PrayFit by Jimmy Pena and Bible Cure for Weight Loss. These two books have been placed in my path. I have not looked for them. The PrayFit is like a 60 day devotional that concentrates on making your body God's Temple. It also gives suggestions on new exercises each day. I am going to start that one on October 1. I made it a goal and October 1 is Saturday so not too far off.

If you are interested in any of these books, I think you can order them from our website www.agapechristianbookstore.com

I will end this with.... Remember ,,, our bodies are a reflection of God. Treat them that way.

Mosquitos....

2011-09-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

Mosquitoes.... arent they the eighth plague? Oh, I hate them. How can something that small bite you and make you itch so bad? Reminds me of a flea. Honestly, how big can that mouth be that I can feel it bite me and suck my blood out?

I enjoy playing outside with my nephew but those pesky things eat me up. One brand of spray does not work at all. Another brand smells so bad that you have to shower as soon as your get home.

Oh, them stupid skeeters.

HELLO!!!

2011-09-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

Hello! I have had a lot of things I wanted to blog about but getting used to school hours has hurt me. By the time I get on blogger and want to write, I am worn out. This includes this evening.

SO quick update... Grandfather still hanging in there. I went to see him Tuesday and it was sad. He very lightly lifted his arms to wave at me. That was it. Even when I took his hands and held them he did not acknowledge me. My Brother saw him the next day and his description of him was... He looks like death..Literally , yet his heart keeps ticking and he has been eating.

Sister, healing very slow and depressed. Her diabetes is causing everything to heal slowly and she is frustrated.

I should be back tomorrow with other thoughts going through my head.

Carbs, Carbs, Carbs....

2011-09-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

I love carbs. I mean I LOVE carbs.

I have been adjusting to my diet to adjust to my diabetes. I do great during the daytime at school. It is night time I am having a downfall. At night, I want carbs. The problem is the carbs make me want more carbs. I have to have some carbs so I can not cut them out completely.

HELP! My name is Becky and I am a carb addict.

Silence....

2011-09-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

Had some things I wanted to blog but decided instead to leave in silence on this particular day. WE had silence during church today and I sat and prayed for all of my kids in church that they will never have to face a day like 9/11/01. That they would never have to go to war or be hurt due to such an awful act of terrorism. I pray that I will never have to face a day like that again. I have been on the verge of tears all day just thinking and reflecting.

I will end in...... SILENCE.

Found it...

2011-09-10T06:14:00.000-07:00

I prayed all night that the Lord would lead me to my wallet. I went out this morning and looked all over the ground. No luck. I started back in the car. No luck. I did find my work badge that I lost last year about this time. I started to get out of the car when I glanced at the crack between my seat , the door and the backseat floor. There it was.

UPDATE on my sister. My sister had a huge, I mean huge abscess bothering her last week. She went to the doctor on Friday who referred her to a surgeon the same day. He said she only needed an antibiotic. She went into the ER Monday because of the pain and was admitted. They drained it and it was highly infected. At one point she was isolated because they said it was MRSA. It was not, Praise the Lord. It was another form of a bad infection. Because of the infection she has been in the hospital since Monday and was projected to get out again on Monday. I think things have changed again. Thursday she had a machine and sponge installed to help drain the infection. Yesterday the infection doctor removed it. Today I just received a call that the weekend doctor does not like how it looks and is taking her back to the OR this morning to work on it some more. Please pray for her. She knows she will be out of work at least six weeks. This also has been embarrassing to her because she works at this hospital.

Prayer Request Again

2011-09-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Continue to pray for my sister. She is doing better but still in the hospital fighting the infection.

Please pray for the Lord to lead me to my wallet tomorrow. I know it was in my car and I only went home and to my Sister's house. I really dont need this right now.

Thank you.

Prayer Request

2011-09-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

PLease uplift my sister in prayer. She is going through a hard time medically right now. SHe will be ok, just scary at the moment.

Death Angel Thoughts

2011-08-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

I have never really thought about whether there is or is not a death angel.

My grandmother in her final weeks would see a man from time to time either over her bed or just in a room. She described him as being a bald man, that was it. She saw him and a little boy all the time.

I do know she had dementia and could hallucinate.

The last two days my grandfather has seen a man standing over his bed or sitting in a chair in his room. He has seen kids but not just one boy. Today he asked my Mom why this man was sitting in the gold chair in the living room and wanted to know who he was. My Mom just looked and was speechless. Later , she had left the room and when she returned he asked her where the man went that was just there. She did get a little spooked because it is just her and him there. He told her that the man took his hand to take him somewhere and my grandfather refused to go.

I do know he has been confused with his power being out for 2 days.

My Mom's sister just called to tell us that he asked her to tell the man in the gold chair to leave that he had been there all day and he was tired of looking at him just sitting in his living room. I am getting spooky chills typing this. At this point , his power and lights had been restored for several hours.

Is there a death angel? I am beginning to wonder.

We survived

2011-08-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we survived Hurricane Irene. I discovered that the houses in the neighborhood I live in were built to last. If I was in the living room, I could hear very little of the wind. I kept looking out at our cedar tree in our yard thinking that it wasn't moving much. I forgot this cedar tree is solid. It is our neighborhood landmark. It barely moved so I was fooled. The few times I ventured into the side rooms, oh boy was the wind whipping. We lost a small limb at the beginning of the storm and during that storm that limb went all over our yard.

I kept my car around the corner at the DMV because it is higher ground and should we need to leave for an emergency with my Dad we could get out by walking and sloshing through water. Our street only flooded halfway the first half, my house is halfway, unfortunately. The second half it flooded all the way but never up to our houses, Praise the Lord.

As for others, they were not so lucky. Early in the day a tree fell on an apartment complex less than a mile from my house. The Mother was able to escape but her 11 year old son did not escape and perished. Heartbreaking. Please pray for this Mother. They had just moved to this apartment on Tuesday, so you can imagine she is rethinking her decisions of moving there right now.

As for others in my family, my grandfather, brother, and sister all lost power. Long story and drama later about my grandfather, the hurricane, the aide and my Mom's sister. My Brother's property was the worst hurt this morning in the family when a gigantic tree landed on his detached garage. Praise the Lord it was the garage and not the house.

Tomorrow , I have received the message that our church will be used as a sleeping shelter for disaster relief workers and I am on that committee so I may be busy manning the church during the next few days.

Below is a picture of my brother's former garage. Smashed to smithereens.

Update...

2011-08-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

AS of the moment , I still have power. It has flickered twice. There has been a lot of rain and wind but the worst will be here around 2 Pm today.

Our street has not flooded, yet but it will probably in the bad wind and rain later.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Questions...

2011-08-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I just asked the question.... If we are forced to evacuate for Hurricane Irene, where will we go?

All of our family is here. My sister and her family will go to Ohio or Florida to be with his family. My brother and his wife will head to Illinois to be with her family. Where will we go? My Dad has family in Connecticut but that is in the track too. We also are not close to them to go raid their house for a few days. What about the indoor and outdoor cats? I am not leaving without the indoor one, at least. I will want to take the outdoor one too but because of her outdoor instincts we may lose her somewhere. She stays in a garage most nights that has an upstairs so she can get to higher ground. Wow, I can only imagine what the residents of New Orleans felt as they had to make these choices. We have not been told to evacuate but all these things are going through my mind at the moment.

As for my Grandfather. My Mom's sister will have to take care of him because of my Dad's health problems we will have to get him to electricity and air condition somewhere.

Hopefully , we wont have to face any of these problems.

Earhquake...

2011-08-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

Earthquake... What earthquake?

I went to Busch Gardens this afternoon with my Mom and nephew. They were busy and I was fussing about how far we had to park. We get on the tram and head to the entrance. We get in the park, stop at the restroom and go straight to Loch Ness Monster roller coaster which is closed. Then we head to another ride, which was closed. Strange, very strange. Then I remember when we walked in that they also were closing the skylift. All sorts of things are going through my head. Then I look on my phone and my sister had text me asking if we were ok. I responded, yeah why. It is not like her to be so concerned about us. At that moment one of the employees told me there had just been an earthquake. I was shocked. My sister said the hospital shook. Evidently , we were on the tram. Strange day. We went shopping in some of the shops we never go into. My nephew was fascinated by some magnetic rocks so I bought them. We spent about an hour at a picnic table playing with the rocks and eating lunch. We made the best of it until the rides re-opened. It was definitely a day to remember. Now every noise or vibration is freaking me out now. There have been some aftershocks but I have not felt them either.

We will get over this shock and now prepare for Hurricane Isabel which is projecting to hit us Saturday.

This song is in my head..... It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

UPDATE...

2011-08-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

My Grandfather is hanging in there. He is surviving off ice chips then maybe two to three spoonfuls of yogurt. He is heading back home this weekend where he wants to be when he dies. He is still alert and knows everything that is going on. He has been very concerned about the way he has left his will. He has felt guilty and worried about the power he has left my Mom's sister. He wrote a paragraph stating that he wanted everything divided 50-50 between them. We did a little inquiring and found out that if it is notarized, it is legal. It was notarized yesterday.
My Mom's sister at the moment has no idea that my Mom has co- medical power of attorney. We think she will find out today because she found out last night that the nursing home called my Mom to tell her something and her sister was not happy. We know she will go and inform them that she does not want my mother called when she will find out about my Mom also having Medical Power of Attorney.
My Mom's sister was approached by her daughter about the Alzheimer's issues. She denied she had it. My cousin had to admit that she found out from the doctor. My Mom's sister had never told her husband either. Great honesty in a one year old marriage. She finally did admit she has Alzheimer's or dementia but said she will never add my Mom to any of their father's affairs. She was warned that legal proceedings may begin under the circumstances of her being in control with Alzheimer's. She stormed out of the nursing home and told my cousin that she was after blood this time. We do know she went to the doctor and removed my cousin from the forms of her doctor's office. I think she will come up with a forged note from her doctor saying she does not have Alzheimer's. I know it will be forged because she also forged a DNR for my grandfather. She is evil.

As for other news.... It is 2 weeks before school starts and I have no job prospects. That is depressing.

I went for a Blood pressure check up the other day which was great. Unfortunately we did a random blood sugar test because of my last blood work and I have diabetes. I also had my throat checked out because I had a soar throat for days. It wasn't strep but he said it was something weird and also a nasal drip. Finally after 8 days it is starting to reside but now I think I have bronchitis. I hope the antibiotic is strong enough to kill the bronchitis too.

Pray for positive changes in my life.

Prayers Needed

2011-08-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

The psycho sister is back in town and with a vengeance. My Mom went up to the nursing home to help show her how to feed my grandfather the proper way so that he wont choke and aspirate. She refused to listen. Even at one point started yelling at my Mom for no reason and shoved my Mother. Yes she shoved my mother. My Mother called the nurses in so that she would have witnesses of her trying to explain. The psycho woman kept talking and over talking my Mother even making fun of the food they were feeding him. All of that the nurses witnessed but not the shoving. I am so mad right now that if I was not in charge of my nephew today I would be up there giving that woman a piece of my mind right now. It is useless though, she is that crazy. Finally the nurses told her you have tried, walk away and my Mom did. The nurses then proceeded to inform her sister that she was in the wrong and they would not explain anything to her because she had refused to listen. She then walked over to my sleeping grandfather, sat beside him and said "Poor Daddy, I see all the stress you have been under all week." STRESS... He had no stress until she returned. He is due to come out of the nursing home Friday , this date has been pushed up since she came back. SHe still thinks he is ok at home by himself. He is so weak he cant situp by himself. This woman is PSYCHO and can not see that he is dying or sees it and is denying it.

Update...

2011-08-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

My grandfather was able to eat some babyfood today with a thickening agent added to it. It was only about 1/4 cup of food all together. He was fed this over a course of an hour or so. She gives him very small spoons of food so that she makes sure if he chokes or aspirates it is a little amount. The nursing home will not feed him but we can feed him at our own risk. My Mom just can not sit there and watch him want to eat, be hungry and not feed him. His esophagus is 99% closed. He was very quiet today but alert and in a good state of mind. He is no longer on an IV.

Speaking of IV. Here is a quick quip of what we go through with my Mom's sister. My sister told me this story earlier today because she was up there last night during a huge confrontation between the nursing home, my Mom's sister and medical power of attorney. That story in a moment. My Mom's sister was telling the nurse that my grandfather had an IB at the hospital. The nurse looked at her quizzically. My sister insisted she explain what she is talking about. She responded that an IB was that needle in your arm to take fluids. My sister corrected her and said it was an IV. "A what?" she said. An IV. V as in Victor. Her response was... "Who is Victor?" My sister gave up.

On to the drama. The drama started because she decided that he needed his diabetic meds even though his sugar is running fine because he is not eating. Sometimes it is 41 and she gives him the meds to lower it. Yep, she is a smart one. The doctor at the nursing home decided he did not need it any more. She decided her power of attorney over rides the doctor. Read on.... We finally are at a place where no one is scared of my Mom's sister. She is not happy. She was extremely not happy when she proceeded to plop her Power of Attorney at the nursing home administrator, doctor and the nurse. They looked at it and proceeded to inform her that the paper was not the Medical Power of Attorney. You see her Power of Attorney is for the financial end of things and in our state you must also have the Medical Power of Attorney to make all the medical decisions. She had a hissy. They argued for about an hour then she finally left. Then when she left they pulled out some legal paper work in which my Mother is now the Medical Power of Attorney. The Christian woman she is , she also listed her sister but nothing can be done medically to him without both agreeing unless one is out of town. So for the weekend my Mom is the sole Medical Power of Attorney and her sister has no idea. She will win in the end , somehow here on earth she always wins. They said in order to change this paperwork now that has my grandfather's signature on it she must bring in a lawyer, a notary, and two witnesses. I don't put it past her and to manipulate his signature. She is that evil.

My sister did say it was nice to finally see some nurses and doctors stand up to her and do their jobs and not buckle under her bullying and threats. In the mean time, she is in Pennsylvania and New York on vacation while her Father is here crying that she left him in this condition.

Please continue to pray.

Not going well...

2011-08-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

My eating has not done well this week at all because of disappointment and stress.

Stress: My grandfather is going downhill fast. I am ok with him going to heaven. He has lived for a long 97 years. The stress is the things his daughter does to hurt my Mom. It never ends. My grandfather is being put in a nursing home for 21 days. I don't think he will be here for the full 21 days. His esophagus is pretty much closed. He was born with an irregular esophagus and now it is closing. He cant eat without choking which in turn causes him to aspirate which in turn causes pneumonia. He has had no food since Sunday night. The hospital will not feed him because of the risk of him choking. He has refused a peg feeding tube. He decided this long ago. So now we just sit and wait for the end. Right now he is still perked up because if IV's but that will soon slow down. Last night though he did start talking out of his mind. He insisted it was raining and it wasn't. Then this morning my Mom's sister went to see him and he asked her how she knew where he was. So the end is coming. Please pray for peace. Oh, by the way, my Mom's sister is due to start vacation tomorrow and she is still going despite the circumstances. Does this surprise you? Remember last year when both grandparents were in the hospital, she never came home from that vacation. Yet , she is the one in charge. Make sense.

Disappointment: I was really psyched about a potential part time job teaching. I thought I did great on the interview. They even called me and asked for a copy of my license and references. Then Tuesday, I received my "thanks but no thanks"letter. I sulked for awhile then put my big girl panties on and moved forward looking for last minute job openings. Please pray!

Confession Time

2011-08-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

I have been doing pretty good with my eating this summer. A few mishaps here and there but mostly pretty good. NOT TODAY!

It started off a confusing day. I had to rush out the house with my nephew to pick my Dad up from an appointment at the hospital because my Mother had received an emergency call from my Grandfather. He was crying to his homebound nurse to call my Mom and only my Mom because he was dying. She rushed up there and in the mean time he was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia. I will leave out all the drama with her sister not being called first and refusing to go to the hospital because he was not sick. Blah Blah Blah drama.

I did not have breakfast, needless to say. My nephew had managed to eat two pieces of raisin bread while I took my record time shower. I went to the hospital to wait and wait and wait on my Dad. Even went upstairs to visit my sister at work as a nurse. Came back down and waited some more. Finally he comes out. I have needed to get a prescription from Target so I went there since we were out there.

I went to the Target snackbar and bought a pretzel unknowingly drenched in butter and a large Pepsi for me and my nephew to split. That is where it all went bad. Starting off my first beverage of the day with soda and not water.

Then my nephew and I went skating, well he skated. I sat at the booths at the snack bar in which I was hungry and ate a chili dog, nachos with chili and cheese and a large Cherry Coke.

I did ok until 4ish. Then I had chicken tenders and water. Then just now I ate spanish rice, a lot of it.

I cant brush it off if I post it and tell everyone then I have to deal with it.

Ok, its over time to move on and hope I dont eat anymore spanish rice tonight. I love that stuff.

Really......

2011-07-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

I was at the pool the other day ease dropping on other's conversations while I sat and relaxed. Is it really ease dropping if they talk loud enough that you have no choice but to hear what is being said.

They are smokers and were enjoying their cigarettes while I was peeved that I was outdoors in fresh air and had to be subjected to their smoking. I was a good distance from them but you know how the cigarette smell just permeates.

Well the topic of their conversation was smoking at work. Their place of employment has become a no-smoking facility. After many complaints the management has agreed to give them two parking spaces in the parking garage as a designated smoking area. Instead of being glad that management gave them a space, they were complaining. Get this.... they don't think their designated smoking spots should be in the parking garage where they will have to breathe in all the exhaust fumes of passing cars.

REALLY..... You are worried about exhaust fumes while puffing something that kills your lungs.... REALLY!

I just shook my head thinking what a DUMB remark. It is OK if I kill myself with a cigarette but it is your fault that I must breathe in exhaust fumes.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

2011-07-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

I believe in giving praise when you lay out your worries in prayer and it is answered.

I was way behind in my student loans. I am not unemployed for the summer but denied unemployment. I had asked for an unemployment forbearance but was given the run around.

This morning I checked my account and my unemployment forbearance was granted.

Praise the Lord.

Every little bit counts.

Cats....

2011-07-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

Cats are so funny.

How can a cat that has never had human food love ice cream? I can drink milk or anything else with cream and he leaves me alone. Let me sit down to a bowl of ice cream and I will have a companion trying to help me eat it. No, I don't let him eat out of my bowl. I will put a little on his nose which will occupy him for awhile after that he is usually satisfied. Let me tell you though, if he does not get a sample, he does not give up. He is very persistent.

This evening he was in the back part of the house. I was in the front. I scooped myself just a half cup. I did not even sit down and he was in the living room sniffing out the smell. It is crazy. Now he received a little on his nose and he is happy. I wish that little amount made me happy because I wanted more after that 1/2 cup but I was good.

It is funny how old memories pop up with something so silly. My Mom was vacuuming tonight when my cat went and hid in my room but right at the door. My late cat, Pudder, she hated the vacuum because we would powder the floor with flea spray. This was before the times of Frontline. She would refuse to touch the carpet anytime the floor was vacuumed. She would go to all extents to avoid the carpet. She would jump from the kitchen to the lounge chair then maneuver herself on all the furniture. She would then stand on the last piece and plot her next move as to touch the carpet as little as possible before entering my room. It was always so funny to watch her. She always associated the vacuum cleaner with the powder whether we used the powder or not. Memories are so much fun to remember and smile about even though it hurts when you lose the loved one whether furry or real.

Speaking of ice cream and my late cat, she loved milk and ice cream. The only thing is she did not like plain milk. It had to have sugary cereal in it before she would eat it. She was a sugar girl. By the way, she ate human food. She knew you had fried chicken from the minute you entered the front door. Beware because she would go to all extremes to get it.

Another memory of her was when I was eating a Subway sandwich in the living room. I left it to go to the bathroom. I returned and my sandwich was gone. I found the sandwich on the floor minus the cold cuts. She had pushed the sandwich over, removed the meat and taken off to the corner with all the meat. She was a character.

Life, cats, and memories.

God Happenings...

2011-07-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

Several things happened recently that prove God exists and is all around us.

The first was a death. My former employee was diagnosed with Stage 3 pancreatic cancer a few months ago. Her testimony is not that cancer won but God won and wanted her home. I have been keeping several of my former employees up to date on her illness over the last two weeks. I was the one who had to call and email all them to let them know of her death yesterday. One emailed back and knew I was going to email her that day about that. See she was channel surfing when she stopped on the 700 Club. She had an overwhelming need to pray for our dear friend. She said, I prayed that God would take her home peacefully and without pain. It was during that time our dear friend and co-worker entered the Gates of Heaven. She is now singing and rejoicing with our Saviour. Please uplift her family during their new season of life as they mourn their dear Godly Mother. Well done good and faithful servant. Rejoice in your rewards

The second includes a wallet, my brother's to be exact. He drove off yesterday but was waved down by his mailman. His first thought was what kind of legal trouble am I in now. The mailman had a package he had to sign for. My brother signs it and the mailman takes off. He then opens it to discover his wallet that he did not even know was missing. He has no idea where he lost it at but some honest person found it and anonymously mailed it to him with everything still in tact. He only had a dollar in cash at the time at that dollar was still there. Thank you God for protecting. Please bless the anonymous finder with wealth, health and happiness. There still are good Samaritans in this world.

The final was VBS for my church. I took on the task as VBS coordinator. We did not have many kids last year by having VBS during the week. We decided to have it during church time on 5 Sundays in the summer. During the week last year my high attendance was 5. This Sunday I had 10 and are expecting more this Sunday. The adults rallied around being helpers and it was great. I left church on such a high Sunday. We used Group's Pandamania and they make it so easy. I gave the craft person her kit. The recreation leader his kit. The music person her kit.The snack coordinator her kit and the teachers their lessons. Then I just had to get the kids from one station to the next. We even had a "panda" visit. We are calling her Panda Patti. I was ecstatic and can not wait until Sunday morning.

God is good.

2011-07-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

I had to show you a picture of my outdoor kitty, Cocoa. You know the one that showed up at our doorstep with no hair and bumps all over two winters ago. Yep, she has taken up residence here. She is great with my nephew. You can see that she catches a lot of prey because she blends in with my dry grass environment. The funny part of today's photo, you cant see. What you can not see is that my mother, my nephew and myself were in the middle of a kickball game. Yep, she came and laid down right in the middle of all the action. If the ball came near her, she would just look at us like I know that ball is not going to hit me. If we were heading to base we would have to run and jump over her. Typical cat attitude.
I wish this picture did her a little more justice but it is with my camera phone. She really is a beautiful calico.
I will repeat her history. We were feeding two other orange tabby cats just like my indoor cat when she showed up looking awful. I mean even I could not stand to look at her. She was all bones, skin, bumps and no hair. I finally started feeding her and talking to her. Her hair started to come back and she became affectionate. We took her to get spayed and rabies shots. We were informed that she was already spayed. So she was someone's cat who probably kicked her out because of her skin problems. Yes, we did check the papers for lost cats but nothing ever appeared. So over time she has become ours. She stays in our neighbors garage at night that has a dog door. They dont care. On really cold nights or hurricane threats she stays in our garage so we know she is ok. The funny thing is that she never ventures past my house and the houses on either side of us. We have new neighbors moving in so that may change.
What I find so amazing is wherever she sleeps she can hear when someone wakes up in the house because she is at the doorstep waiting for food and water. She has her own bowl under the faucet outside. I moved it the other day to mow the grass and had it in my hand to put back but evidently I was too slow. She came up to me and swatted it out of my hand because she wanted water and she wanted it THEN.
She has snuck in a few times but my indoor cat has made it clear that this is his territory. She now will not cross the front door. They each have their territory.
I have no idea why I decided to share all this tonight. I guess because I have never had a solely outdoor kitty with such a great story and deposition. I really wish I could bring her in but Lilbit says NO WAY.

What I saw...

2011-07-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is not a post about my trip. It is a post of my plane ride home.

I normally select an aisle seat because I have broad shoulders and can lean over into the aisle until the beverage cart arrives. My flight from Phoenix to Charlotte and Charlotte to my hometown were great. I had the seats to myself and could look out the window.

How can anyone question God's magnitude? I was on the other side of the clouds. Literally... on top of the clouds. Oh my they were beautiful. It looked like big puffy cotton and spools of cotton candy. We usually only see it from the ground but from the air it is awesome. How could something so beautiful been created by a big boom or aliens? It can only be the work of God. Beautiful and majestic is only something God could create.

Out of the blue the following lyrics from a song came to my mind and I quietly sang it.

O Lord O Lord how Majestic is your name above the Earth. O Lord we praise your name. O Lord we Magnify your name. Prince of Peace. Mighty God. O Lord God of everything.

The clouds and lightening that I saw we so awesome and just small part of what an awesome God we have.

I also give credit for God for the invention of airplanes and him keeping us safe. They are huge yet that big piece of machinery carries thousands of people a day and flies through the sky. How can something that heavy fly. Only God. I was at the wing when I realized that wing is huge. We learned alot of aerodynamics from the birds God created. You can never deny it with the wings.

Wow! What a powerful and awesome God.

Tired

2011-07-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

Weddings over and I am tired, tired , tired.
Ready to head home but will enjoy two days of site-seing.

From East to West

2011-06-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

I flew from one coast to the other coast yesterday for the wedding. I am still on East Coast time. I was up at 5:55 AM Oregon time.

My flights were pretty good and sat by some interesting people too. The last flight was a mother /daughter from England. We talked the entire 2.5 hours.

Well, will post more later.

My Greatest Blessing...

2011-06-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

BUT I DONT WANT TO GET IN THE WATER....Does that face say that? Eight years ago today, a woman gave birth to what would become the greatest blessing I have received. Thank you to his biological parents. You have blessed my family beyond imagination in good times and in bad.

He was being a booger today. I took him and his friend to our church landfill to play ball. They were arguing and fighting after about 15 minutes. I took the friend home. See , my nephew is a great child most of the time until this friend enters the picture. This friend brings out his ugliness. So, I solved it, I took the friend home. The ugliness did not stop. He was then mad at me and I ruined his birthday. Yeah , right. I had to run an errand and by this time he had calmed down. I tried to get him to run in the fountains at our local shopping center. He refused. I then told him to walk in the middle and I would meet him on the other side. Well he never made it to the other side, you know why? He stopped and was playing in the water fountains and laughing and smiling. I title this picture..... BUT I DONT WANT TO GET IN THE WATER.

Just how old do I look?

2011-06-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

In the same weekend I have been complimented and insulted about how old I look.

The first was Friday morning. The cable guy had been dealing with my Father but when he returned with a new modem, I answered the door. I knew who he was and let him come in. He then asked if the man he had been dealing with was my grandfather. Well , either he thought I looked real young or may Dad looked real old. Personally, aside from my Father's walk, I don't think he looks 73. So I assume the guy thought I looked real young.

The same day, I went to my sister's to feed her cats because they were out of town. The neighbor's grandchildren are always over the house and the little girl came running to my car. She gave me a hug. When I left , she and her brother were in the yard waiting for me to come out. They were discussing my name. They both know me because I am at my sister's house all the time and they are at their grandmother's house all the time. The 6 year old boy was explaining to his 4 year old sister that my sister, Mrs. Debbie, was Cameron's mommy and I, Miss Becky was his GRANDMOTHER! I was like no, no, no and explained to them that I was Cameron's aunt and I was younger than Mrs. Debbie and could not be Cameron's grandmother. So that burst my bubble from the cable guy earlier.

Lastly, I drove across the bridge today to get some delicious spaghetti near my grandfather's house. I noticed that cigarettes were cheap . I called a family member and they agreed they were cheap and to buy a carton. I asked for the specific kind. The man said, I will get them when you tell me and show me how old you are. I looked at him and said way over the legal age for cigarettes. He told me to prove it. I did and he laughed and said I never would have guessed. I felt so young because the legal age is 16. I was honored to be carded but truly and honestly the guy was being a little ridiculous. I look way over 16.

I do know when I substitute and I mention to the high schoolers that this is my 20 year high school reunion. They calculate , well those that can add, my age and sit there astonished. You dont look 38 is usually the replied. Well thank you, thank you very much.

I am becoming my Father...

2011-06-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

I know it is scary that I am becoming my Father. My Father likes complete silence all the time except his television when he wants to watch it.

Tonight I want complete silence and am not getting it. All I am getting is lots of background noise. I have been in the presence of a 7.95 year old ( he will be 8 Tuesday) for 10 hours. He left me alone at the pool but some other kid needing attention kept pestering me. I was nice but I wanted to tell him to leave me alone.

This is what I am getting

One tv with more irritating music reality on. I think it is more the screaming and clapping that bother me.

One tv in another room running. I cant turn that off , that person is watching it.

The air condition is running non-stop and the filter needs to be replaced so it is also rattling.

On commercials from the irritating tv with the music show, she is in the kitchen washing and clanking dishes with the water running.

Then the other day our neighbors dead limb landed on our power line. So the power company has been outside for over an hour , yes it is 10:22 PM trying to get the limb down with his diesel truck running.

To top it off , my internet service is slow. They are coming tomorrow to boost the speed. The bathtub isn't draining properly. Then a million flies have some how scooted in the door and are zooming around everywhere.

Praise the Lord, the power truck pulled off. One piece of background noise down.

I think it is PMS, lol. I dont get that though cause I am a depo shot junkie.

Pray for me tomorrow morning as I interview for a part-time teaching position.

I enjoyed my conversation...

2011-06-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

This is what my mom's sister told my cousin about her conversations with me on Sunday."I really enjoyed my converstations with Becky today". I was flabbergasted because I would not call it a conversation. I just answer her questions if they are directed at me. Today she was the happy part of Jekyl and Hyde.

Her: Have you found a Full-Time teaching job?
Me: Nope
Her: Are you substituting right now?
Me: Not any more.
Her: It is a real shame because you are so educated then you went back to teach and get your license. It just is not fair.
Me :( Just stare at her. She didnt ask a question. I only answer her questions if she asks one.)
Her: Your Dad says you are going to Robert's for dinner? ( Robert is my brother)
Me: Yes.
Her: Have I eaten there before?
Me: I have no idea.
Her: Isn't it down that road?
Me: Yeah ( Well my brother does live down a road).
Her: What do they serve?
Me: ( Look at her like she has totally lost it )
Her: Robert's, right?
Me: Yeah Robert's house.
Her: It is called Robert's House.
Me: That is what I call it. (at this point I realize her Alzheimer's has kicked in and she forgets I have a brother name Robert, so I am being mean and playing along. )
Her: I forget where exactly is "Robert's House" and what do they serve?
Me: Hamburgers.
Her: (flabbergasted) Hamburgers.
Me. Yep , off the grill. ( At this point I am chuckling and knowing I am giving her a hard time)
Her: Robert's House and they serve hamburgers off the grill. OH! You mean Robert W. , your brother's house.
Me: ( Just smiling and looking at her like she is dumb)
Her: What is your sister-in-law cooking?
Me: Nothing
HEr: But you are going to their house for dinner, right.
Me: Yeah Rob is cooking hamburgers.
Her: What is his wife cooking?
Me: Nothing.
Her: NOTHING.
Me: Nothing, Robert is cooking.
At this point my MOm walks in the room.

Her to my Mom: What is Rob's wife cooking?
Me: ( Looking at her like she is crazy again because I just answered this question.)
My MOm: Nothing
Her to my Mom: What?
Mom: NOthing.
Her: What is nothing?

I kid you not this is what she said. What is nothing? Alzheimer's again. At some point out of the blue she announced that she had a gem replaced on her 25th anniversary ring that her second husband gave her. She was only married to him for 8 years before he died. So how could he give her a 25th anniversary ring. That ring was from my uncle who died in 1991 whom she was married to for over 30 years. Then she told my Mom that the new ramp that was built in the front for my grandfather's wheelchair was built by her second husband ( she mentioned him by name) this weekend. He died about 5 years ago and she is currently married to husband number three who built the ramp this weekend. This is the woman who is in charge of everything with my grandfather. Really!

End of conversations. This is the longest conversation I have had with this woman for two years. So she was so excited that I spoke to her. You see, I dont "talk" to her. I just merely answer her questions , which is all I basically did. This is also the first time since my grandmother died that I have been in the same room with her at my choice. It was my choice to be there since it was Father's Day and I was there to see my Grandfather for a few minutes. It was only coincidental that she was there . I was not going to make my grandfather get hurt or suffer because I did not go into that room because of her. I have more integrity than that. Usually if she is in a room, I am not.

Now the mean side of her Jekyl and Hyde was leaving nasty voice messages with my Mother again yesterday questioning her as a Christian again because she wont talk to her and subject herself to the verbal abuse during another situation.

Just a little insight of what we go through with her and this was somewhat of a good day.

THoughts...

2011-06-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I have not disappeared. My internet did from time to time but I did not.

This was my second full day of being out of work. No subbing in the summer and yes I am scared financially. I have started applying again for mystery shops but most of that is very low pay.

Here are some of the thoughts in my head right now:

I am so over the music reality television. You know, Idol and The Voice. I finally figured out that I am not a music fan. I dont like to sing. Yes, I like to listen to some music, mainly country and Praise and Worship. I live with someone that loves these shows and the computer is in that room. Even the background beat of some of it just drives me nuts. I am over it, really.

I leave a week from tomorrow for my friend's wedding. I am excited but also scared because I know I have very little money to survive off while there.

My first real day of summer, yesterday was a bummer. We were heading to Busch Gardens but it was raining. We decided to go bowl with our kids bowl free membership. My internet service was down so I could not print the coupons. I then went to my sister's house to use her computer and it is slow as molasses. It took two hours but we finally made it to the bowling alley only to leave and find out it was a beautiful afternoon after all and we should have kept with our original plans for Busch Gardens.

I received a call from one of the school district's I applied for last week. I was so excited thinking it is interview time. The excitement ended fast when the secretary told me that my transcripts from my community college were wrong. I was flabbergasted. You see it was addressed to me but it was not my transcripts. It belonged to a male who majored in music. I am not a male and refer back to my first bullet, I don't care for music. I had to request another transcript and send it back to them, I can only hope this one is right. I have 10 copies on my desk but they are sealed copies, if I open them then they are not official. So do I open a few or not? Positive side of it... they were interested enough to call me and request another set. Just hope they look over that one D in psychology. All the rest are A's and B's.

My grandfather has really come down recently. I know this is selfish but I keep thinking , I leave town in a week for a week and I dont want to miss this trip. I dont feel too bad because my cousin leaves Thursday for the weekend and was thinking the same thing. My Mom has helped by telling me that even if something happens that I have been there for him when he was alive and that is more important than being there when he is gone. So if something happens during that time for me to continue with my plans.

Today , members of my church stopped by to visit him for a few minutes. It was amazing how his spirits were lifted after their visits. He even ate some chicken and dumplings after they left. He is eating very little.

Speaking of his eating. We have been desperate to find anything that he will eat. He doesnt even want oysters anymore. Out of the blue Friday night, he asked for brains and eggs. How disgusting! I remembered from my grocery store days they sold them in a can. My mom made it for him the next day and he ate it and said it was delicious. How gross. We mentioned that to our church visitors today and a number of them had eaten it before and enjoyed it. BLAHHH! Look it up on the internet, it really does exist.

I never posted on my trip to Arlington, VA to visit my great friends that have accepted a pastorship at a church. I had a great visit with them that day. They have their work cut-out for them in their church for church growth but have such potential in this area. I can not wait to see how God works in their lives, their new position and in their church. I love this couple. I have watched the two of them grow to have an awesome marriage, family and spiritual life. They are a role model to me on the subject of marriage. SHe took us on a drive-by tour of DC. I have never been into DC so I was fascinated. I can not wait to put it back into my schedule to go visit them again. I really want to go to the DC zoo.( I want to see them too) They are literally minutes away from everything. If I was not leaving on Wednesday , I would go up there this weekend but it is too much for me to do in one week.

Please continue to pray for my job search. I am hopeful.

Well I am tired and heading to bed. Munchkin will be here at the crack of dawn. I have not decided on Water COuntry or the pool for tomorrow yet. This is the last day I have him until I come back July 6. I want to make the most of it.

Comments

2011-06-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

If I normally comment on your blog and have not lately it is because I too am having a problem with blogger and comments. I know there is a fix and will figure it our one day when nothing else is on my mind. In the mean time, hang in there. I did have things to say,

Anger!!!

2011-06-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

I know I will delete this post in about 24 hours.

Have you ever been so angry with someone that you wish you could be there when they burn in hell one day?

That is how I feel about my mother's sister and how I have felt for a long time.

The fire department installed my grandfather a free smoke alarm but they required emergency information from him. He had my cousin who was there at the moment write both my mother's information and her sister's information. My cousin talked to her mother and told her that he had signed it and had written both of them down. Her mother got angry and drove over to the house and blocked out my mother's information. She also left papers for the fire department that she is sole power of attorney and read this closely........ SHE HAD HIM DEEMED INCOMPETENT by his doctor. My Mother knew nothing about this. My grandfather knew nothing about this. Most days he is mentally ok it is when his blood sugar is low that he talks crazy. This now gives her full control of everything he does and final say-so. He has no legal rights. My mother has no legal rights unless she has money to hire a lawyer and fight. She does not.

My cousin was flabbergasted and did not realize her Mother could stoop this low. She also stated to my mother that she hopes her mother burns in hell. That is sad. Real sad. A woman at the beginning stages of Alzheimer's is in control.

ARRGGHH!

I am sorry if this is an ugly post, I really am sorry.

Right now I need a lot of prayer for God's Grace. It is hard when this woman who is evil keeps persevering and the nice and innocent sibling keeps being pushed down.

Pray for my Mom because the attacks are directly at her. After tonight we are confident she has lied about the will still being 50/50. By the way... the deeming of him incompetent came right after social services tried to step in.

This woman makes Lucifer look like a saint.

Needless to say she is not on my facebook account. Her face keeps popping up on my homepage under the PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW. I think they need to change it to... PEOPLE YOU MAY WANT TO THROW DARTS AT. Well I just updated my status on facebook to BEcky personally knows SATAN. Facebook refreshed my page and it changed to items RELATED TO YOUR POST and where her picture was is now a page on Satan.... How ironic.

He is not competent to make decisions but he is competent to stay alone 18-20 hours a day.
The woman that is in control has told everyone to leave his house unlocked every night so the morning help can get in the house. She does not have the sense in her head to give them a key. No the house in a prominent neighborhood with no cars in the driveway is left unlocked every night for anyone to beat him and rob him blind. Seems to me she needs to be deemed incompetent.

UPDATES....

2011-06-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

The kitten in the previous post passed away Thursday. The boy will be charged with a felony. I hope he gets the help he needs.

I went to visit my great friends today at the new church that God has called them to. It was a great day and I am so excited for them. I will expand on this later.

What is wrong with people?

2011-05-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

I am going to bed on an angry note because of the news.

Two different segments on cruelty to an animal.

The first involved a 14 year old boy abusing a kitten at the park and cutting it. An 8 year old boy grabbed the knife away from the older boy before more damage was done. He had already dropped the kitten on the ground from a high slide. The little boy kept pleading for him to leave it alone. The kitten lived but has a broken leg, fractured rib and bruised lung. How horrible but kudos to the 8 year old for standing up to a bully on behalf of that kitten. The kitten goes up for adoption Friday.

The next one was a dog that was adopted and has a great life now. He was found weeks ago burned with acid and stabbed.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? Are people so warped that they have to pick on something that can not defend it self.

As I finished this post a thought went through my head.... What should I expect when I live in the area that thinks that famous football player from around here was innocent when he was found to be involved in dog fighting?

Application Process Begins

2011-05-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

My application process for next school year has begun... again.

Please pray for me during this process. I so need a full-time job with benefits.

What happened to Good Samaritans...

2011-05-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Has society come so far down that we do not look out for fellow humans that are struggling?

My Mother and I went out to a fast food chicken place today. We do this occassionally on Sundays when the rest of the family has other plans. We like this chicken but the others find it spicy. There were only two tables dining at the time. The lady at the table next to us saw the situation first. There was a man pulling up in a wheelchair scooter on the sidewalk heading to the door. She saw it first that he was not going to be able to hold the door and maneuver the chair to get in. I overheard her tell her husband about the man when it caught my attention. I looked at this couple to see if one of them was going to get up and help. They both sat there. I finally got up from eating to go assist this handicapped gentleman. I heard the lady tell her husband...Awwhhh, she is going to help him. I was thinking well duh lady you and your husband obviously are not going to help. ( They were two very capable healthy adults.) He thanked me.

He then went and ordered. The employees gave him his to-go order. He wheeled across the dining room but could not get past the carpet because the high chairs were in his way. I, once again, got up from eating to assist him both with the highchairs and the doors so that he may leave. He thanked me again. I was happy to assist.

My Mom was uptight. She even called the manager over to give her opinion. She understood that the employees could not see him trying to enter the restaurant and could not assist him but when he came through the line they then knew he was handicapped and may need help. They gave him his food then basically walked away. She explained to him that his customer should not have had to stop their meal to assist this man while his employees stood behind the counter talking and oblivious that the man may need assistance. She went on to explain that customer service starts from the start of walking through the door. They were not busy and could not assist they were just conversating. The manager agreed with her and also thanked me.

It still leaves me wondering. Neither the couple beside us that first discovered the situation nor any of the employees had the decency to help assist the man. What has happened to society?

Someone mentioned that they are afraid of their help being rejected. I would rather have tried to help the man and been rejected, which I wasn't , than to sit there and watch him struggle and struggle to get both in and out of the door.

He is a monster...

2011-05-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

I had a chat with my nephew today. I asked him what did he do with his bad paper last night. He told me he stuffed it under my television stand. I was puzzled. How could he had stuffed it under the tv stand and I have it too? Well then he confessed that he received two F's this week. One in vocabulary and one in math ( symmetry).

I have decided to look for some things on symmetry and work with him on it. As for the vocabulary , I think he was just having a bad day. He usually aces those tests.

I have created a monster.... well his parents have to be technical.

Kids...You have to love them

2011-05-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday School on Mother's Day we were discussing honoring your Mother even when she makes mistakes and forgiving them . I asked one of my first grade boys if his Mom ever makes mistakes. He responded..... Oh man, she makes a lot of them. I could only laugh.

Today my nephew received his work envelope for the week with all his grades for last week in it. He was stressed that he earned an F on his last vocabulary test. He does not make F's. He is an honor roll student and his parents are hard on him about staying on the honor roll. He showed it to me and asked if I would trash it before his Mommy saw it. I told him I couldn't. He gave me the goo-goo eyes. He asked if I could hide it in my garage. I don't know why the garage was so important because his Mom rarely comes over here. I told him I could not do that. He got quiet for awhile. I then looked at him messing with the envelope then erasing something and doing it again. My almost eight year old nephew was trying to forge their initials on the envelope they must sign each week. I never thought of such a thing until high school. That is how scared he was. The F paper was accidentally left here. It is not my fault that he packed all the papers up to take home while I was still looking at his mistakes. Then we ran out the door to go to baseball practice.

What would you do? I know what I should do but I also know how hard they are on him about his grades. It is crazy. Don't judge me until you are at his house during homework time. Dad sits there with an eraser to erase his mistakes before he even has a chance to see what he did wrong then gets yelled at for not doing it right.

Let me tell you about his last F paper from months ago. He was upset about it also. He was looking at it and was stressed about it. He packed his stuff up in the envelope and put it away. I was wondering why his Mom never seemed to fuss at him over that grade. Well a few weeks later my Mom found his F paper hidden under a bunch of papers on her desk. That devil.

It is sad though thought that at 7 years old this stresses him out and forces him to hide and think of ways to not let them see the grade.

We were not raised this way. If we made the honor roll, great. If we didn't she was still proud that we did our best. I remember waiting until leaving for the bus stop to show her a D that needed to be signed. She just asked... Did you try? I said yes and it was over. I didn't make many D's or F's though. I did fail 8th grade world literature. She was concerned but not stressed because it was all about mythology and I did not believe or understand it. It was against all Christianity that I had been taught. She asked if I had tried and even tried to do it with me. It wasn't happening. She knows I tried. No punishment, no fussing. It was over. I wish my sister would remember her upbringing. We turned out ok.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends that are mothers.

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who are like mothers to someone.

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who would like to be mothers. I am one of you.

Today I cooked for my family. We had a sausage and shrimp pot boil. It was delicious. We spent the afternoon on the porch talking, playing with my nephew and eating brownies and cookies. It was a great memorable day.

Thank you Lord for such a great day!

Update...

2011-05-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

I found a seamstress who will buy and make the dress for $189. I told her I just could not afford that and she lowered it to $150. She took my measurements yesterday.

My mom has a gazillion points on one of her credit cards. I am redeeming them for my airline.

Praise The Lord!!!!

Seamstress Needed

2011-05-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

I have waited to the last minute because of finances to buy a bridesmaid dress. My best friend in Oregon is getting married for the second time but having her first wedding. I did not know if I really could travel to the wedding until the last few weeks. There are two bridesmaids, myself and her 18 year old daughter. She picked a dress that looks great on her daughter but the whole back shows which is not good for a fat 38 year old. She told me I could get any dress but try to get it as close to her daughter's color. I went to the bridal shop and the dresses all run 2 sizes small, so the largest size is too small in the in-stock dresses. They can order it but now they are running the week of July 23 but her wedding is July 2. The express dresses don't come in my size. I know I waited until the last minute but I had no money.

I went to the fabric store and found some material that matches but now I need a cheap seamstress. Do you know of one?

HELP!

The woman never amazes me

2011-05-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

My mother's sister is such a piece of work. Everything with her is "whoah is me". I mean everything.

My Mom was trying to to have a decent conversation with her. I don't know why she tried to have a decent conversation with her, it never ends that way.

Yesterday she called my Mom to tell her that she had been in tears all day just thinking about Mother's Day. She went on to say that next Sunday is her first Mother's Day without her mother. My Mom reminded her that it is also her first Mother's Day without her mother and she was not alone.

Her response......" Well she was my mother for 72 years and only yours for 68 years." As if she had more of a right to be upset and grieving because she was born first.

This woman is unbelievable. Just think, I don't post about all her antics anymore because I think my blog readers may think I have an active imagination. No imagination needed, I couldn't even make up such things with her. Nothing she does amazes me anymore.

I will tell you that my grandfather has fallen twice this week. Social services was called again by the emergency personnel. She beat them to the punch and called his doctor to convince him to tell SS that my grandfather is OK to stay by himself and he did as she told him. Unbelievable.

What I need....

2011-04-27T19:42:00.001-07:00

What I need....

A personal assistant to get my clothes ready everyday, even my shoes. I have limited shoes for work and hate the task of getting ready for work everyday. I don't mind going to work, just hate the task of getting ready.

A personal chef. I get so tired of trying to figure out what I will fix for breakfast and lunch when going to work. I hate thinking that much in advance. As for dinner, I have no problem with fixing that myself. I just don't like worrying about breakfast and lunch.

Anybody want to apply for the job?

Unfortunately the pay is pitiful.... There is none.

This and That...

2011-04-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

Had a great turnout for my church's Easter Egg Hunt. We had over 25 kids and it was barely advertised. I was stoked. 25 children for my church is great.

I have been fooling my Father lately, we have been switching our ground beef for the low fat ground turkey in our meals. He has yet to catch on. Tonight I just cooked turkey burgers and he is in there almost licking the plate. He is a ground beef man, he could eat it every day.

Gas prices are ridiculous, plain ridiculous.

I worked all week at the school I interviewed for last summer in a business position. Not only did I substitute there but also the attendance office. It was a great week. The lead teacher that interviewed me had avoided me for a long time. She approached me Friday to tell me she appreciated me doing the position all week. That she was surprised I didn't have any major behavior issues and never needed security nor her. It meant a lot to me that she took the time out to tell me that. Let's hope she remembers that if they have a position open back up. Then I was asked to help in the attendance office all week during my breaks from my classes I was subbing. I don't have to do that as a sub. I only HAVE to sub for the position I came in for. I am flexible and helped out. I enjoyed that too. The main secretary came in to buy me lunch but I had already had lunch so she told me next time I am in the school she is buying me lunch. They were surprised at how well I caught on and was able to cover it with no help on Friday. I think I am going to tell her forget lunch just remember when she hears a business position open to recommend me. The assistant principal even came in to thank me for covering the attendance office. It is a big job, believe me and I didn't do the computer part of it but all the other stuff. The main principal, who kind of avoids me too, went by stopped and waved at me in there too. I hope I made some impressions.

Another mother at my nephew's game called me his mother today. My brother-in-law and my sister get very upset when this happens. I always correct the offender and say... I am the auntie. My brother-in-law told the woman she just said fighting words. When will my family understand, they only call me this because my sister and I look just alike. If they do not see us all the time they don't know we are two different people. I am not trying to be his mother, she is and will always be. I just support him in everything he does.

That is it for now... I know it has been a few weeks. I am going to try to start exercising again this week. Cheer me on!

Happy Birthday 2!

2011-04-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my Father! He is 73. Happy Birthday to my spiritual sister from another mother. Jennifer over at Noodle's Nest. She is 29 again. ( Well if I pretend to be 29, she has to also , so she wont give away my age since we are only a day apart. ) Tomorrow I am going out to lunch with my family to celebrate my birthday, my Dad's birthday, my grandfather's 97th birthday that is on the 13th, and my cousin's 47th birthday on the 14th. A month full of birthdays. Happy Belate Birthday to my other best friend who celebrated on the 4th. Here is some useless interesting information. I have three terrific friends. The two mentioned in this post were both born in April, like myself of the same year. My birthday is 4/8. My third long-time terrific friend was born on 8/4 of the same year. We have laughed about never forgetting each other's birthdays because you just have to switch the numbers. How neat. If you are reading this and have a birthday this month, Happy Birthday to you too.

Happy Birthday!

2011-04-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to me. I am in Lancaster, PA and heading home tomorrow.

Why I never ask for directions...

2011-04-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, I wrote about my weekend on my cousin's farm. We left the area later than I wanted to because I knew it would be getting dark in a few hours. I was the main driver and did not bring my glasses for night driving. I figured if I could get us into Petersburg, VA, my sister could drive from there. She knows the route from there. We left at 5:45 PM and it should have been a 3.5 hour drive. We were driving down Route 40 and had been on the road almost an half hour. We noticed that a lot of cars heading the opposite direction kept flashing their lights at me. I thought, wow that is a lot of people warning me that a cop is taking radar. I dropped my speed down to 40 MPH because I didn't knew what the speed was but knew most of the route was 55 MPH. I kept driving and driving and driving, no cop. Then one lady flashed at us and waved us down. I slowed down some more thinking something was on the van. My imagination was thinking there was some mass murderer and we were heading straight towards them. I did not know. Then I spotted it..... a tree fell blocking all of Rte 40. I could do nothing but turn around. I pulled up in someone's driveway. This family and evidently all the neighbors were sitting at this house on the porch watching all us poor travelers struggle. I waved at them and all at once, they all raised their hands and waved at me. I just laughed. So we headed back the other way trying to plot how to get home. That is the only way I knew. We stopped at an old country convenience store. I played with the GPS for awhile but the only alternative routes were back down 40 and back down 40 and back down 40. I knew if I went back to my cousin's then traveled another 30 minutes into South Boston that it would be a five hour drive from there. I was not liking that alternative. I went in to potty and asked the country bumpkin if there was a way around 40. He told me of course. I should go down there and turn where there used to be a grocery store then turn where there used to be a car repair lot. Right past there will be Eureka and you can take one of those roads to bring you around that tree. I sat there dumbfounded. Honestly man, the reason I am asking directions is because I am not from here but you are giving me directions like I live here. If I lived here I wouldn't need the directions. Then a country customer asked me if I understood. I was honest and told him no. HE then told me to turn left at the old Grocery store right before the town of such and such ends. Then turn left at the old car lot. Then turn left on Saxe Roy Rd. I was so happy to hear the name of a road. The only bad thing is I never found this old grocery store. I drove some more. I pulled over at an old country church trying to get the GPS to route me through South Boston, no such thing. I was hoping being at the church would cause divine intervention. That sort of happened. I turned back around when I discovered I may have lost my cell phone. We went back to the country store. No cell phone but my nephew did find it in the car. Praise the Lord! I made the mistake of asking for the directions again to get around the tree. It was no better than the first answer. So off we headed back down 40 hoping the tow truck driver we met earlier was going to move it. We hoped and prayed. I began to get nervous because a truck had flashed his lights at me again. I was like come on, Please God , I want to go home. Thank goodness he listened. Two neighbors had volunteered during this time and had chainsawed enough of the tree that one car at a time could go through. It is now 7:15 and off we go...home. We drove about a mile and long and behold there is that Eureka town that county bumpkin told me about. We could have been long past there had he spoken fluent English. Wow, what an adventure. Anytime my Mom and I are involved with something it becomes an adventure. We made it home after 10:45 PM .

Great Weekend...

2011-04-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

My cousin and her husband retired about two years ago. They went and bought 100 acres of sticks, literally. No real grass, nothing. The whole lot had just been cut down for lumber. It is nothing but stumps, twigs and dirt. They have a vision, patience and lots of knowledge. They want a working farm. Last year spring break, we went for a visit. They had three dogs and two cats. One of the cats had kittens the night we were there. This year spring break, we go for a visit. They have one dog ( two were killed by cars while hunting), five cats, 15 hens, three roosters, 20 broiler chickens, two rabbit hounds, four pet goats and five wild goats. One goat had a kid right before we left. Its momma was white and he is different shades of brown. Today less than 24 hours after we left another goat had twins. Wow, what a change in one year. The pet goats and kids were adorable and playful. I was sitting on the ground holding a cat when one of the kids got jealous and decided he needed to be held. What I learned about the baby goat was when they want to be held they just walk up on your lap and get in your arms. No coaxing, nothing. They also like for you to lay on the ground on your hands and knees so they can jump on your back and play. They play king of the mountain by butting each other off your back. Then the one that wins jumps off and tries to flip around in the air. It is so funny to watch. Then they love to head butt each other for play. I could have watched them all day. The wild goats are fenced in a portable fence. Their first purpose is to eat the twigs and other things on the grounds. They are moved every few days. At some point they wil be sold for their meat at a great rate. They are extremely popular in the Musiim community but for now their purpose is to eat the ground down. I did have a new experience. This was eating fresh chicken from the farm. The broiler chickens are raised for that purpose. This chicken was smaller than grocery store chicken but it was tastier. It was hard though to sit in the barn having a bbq chicken dinner while the new broilers were right out the door eating to get plump for my cousins third round of organic free range chickens. My sister and I kept telling them to stop eating the feed so they wouldnt get eaten but they woudnt listen. The hens are being raised for the purpose of eggs. The two days we were there they laid amost two dozen. We took them home. My cousin sells these on weekends for $3 a dozen because they are natural grain fed. She always sells out. I learned that fresh eggs from the hens do not need to be refrigerated for two months if they have never been washed. There is a protective covering on the eggs that keep them fresh. Once the egg is washed , the coating is removed and they must be refrigerated immediately. I never knew that. We ate in the barn because their house is not built yet. They live in a second-hand FEMA trailer.We stayed in a local hotel. GOd Bless the people who had to live in those. Extremely tight quarters. They have lived in one for over a year, Bless their hearts. Last night winds were in excess of 50 MPH and a tornado warning was issued. They had to sleep in the barn for safety. The local Amish housebuilder came today and staked out their house. They hope by August to be in their new house. I am a city girl. It was a good weekend to visit but I found out I LOVE the city.

Rant.....

2011-04-02T10:49:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share with you that the city I live in and where we have our business located likes to waste payroll dollars with the Sheriff's Department. You see they have nothing better to do on a Saturday except to drive around to businesses telling them to remove their signs advertising their business on the business's own property. There are not burglaries, robberies, rapes, murders, traffic accidents, speeders or red light runners to harass today. Nope only businesses trying to take in enough money to pay their taxes so that these city employees and Sheriff can come around and harass them while criminals walk the streets. Then say.... We are giving up our day off to go around and summons and threaten businesses that are breaking city codes on their own property. Stay home and enjoy your day off. I can guarantee you that you are not doing this for free. The city counsel person may be but the deputy in the deputy's car is most likely getting paid. It should not be a city code to advertise your own business on your own property with a two way sign the size of poster board. Give me a break. My goodness, this sign is breaking city code and is more important than a crime being committed at this very moment. Get some priorities.

Things that make you go hmmh....

2011-03-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

Things that make you go hmmhh.... I have been going through another slump in life again. Still wondering why evil seems to outweigh good. Still wondering when my day will come to land a job and start my teaching career. In the mean time, I was watching television and heard two things that made me laugh and think....HMMMH!

Cell phone company announces that in a certain local area their service is down. Well, ok so no cell phones for a few. It is not convenient but it could be worse. Yep, you could need to dial 911 and not be able to. The news recommended that if you have an emergency situation and only have cell phone ability with this carrier that you drive to your nearest fire station. I know it is not funny but it was to me. So if I fall and can't get up, I have to get up and make my way to the fire station. If someone is breaking into your home then you should tell them to wait so that you can go to the fire station and get help. Maybe I am weird but I found this hysterical. I pray no one truly needs 911 during this time.

The next thing was a local but national animal rights organization is running a new campaign. You can register to win a free vasectomy if you have your animal spayed or neutered. Oh come on. Is that something you really want an animal rights organization to do for you? I know they wont physically do it but but but..... If it were my husband if I had a husband, I would not want him winning nor relying on them for such a procedure. They need to stick to a spay or neutering animals campaign and not humans. On another note , I know many of human who needs the procedure.... Did I say that?

Sorry if you don't find this the least bit funny but I guess it takes very little to make me laugh right now. If you could really read my mind somedays , you would take off running. Scary, scary.

The latest name....

2011-03-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

The latest thing that I was called by a high school student...... A BEACHED WHALE.

Yeppers I heard him in the hallway say...." Dang, We got a beached whale in our classroom today."

If I said it didn't hurt I would be lying. I go weeks with no remarks and then there is that one fool that runs his mouth.

By the way, my lunches are still a problem but for the last two days I have pre-made a breakfast burrito and am able to microwave, eat and drive. It has been pretty tasty too.

Wheat tortilla, little shredded cheese, two eggs scrambled with mushrooms then a little salsa. Yummy!

I am struggling...

2011-03-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am struggling with some things with my healthy lifestyle adjustments.

I am upset that for the last two weeks I have lost nothing.

I am burnt out on my breakfasts. I like a certain bread that Costco sells but can not always get to Costco to buy it. Costco is on the other end of town. I have tried other breads when I am out . Usually I will skip breakfast even if I make a sandwich out of another bread. Later in the day it becomes birdfood. I know that is wasteful but I just like that certain bread. I have to have something easy for breakfast that I can just grab out of my bag and eat in the car. I enjoy a peanut butter sandwich every day. I leave too early most days to fix something. The kitchen is also off of my Dad's room so I can not do too much messing around at that time in the morning because he is sleeping. I am just frustrated.

As for lunch, I am just as frustrated. I stopped eating school lunches because most of the time they are not worth the $2.75 I pay for them. That is sad. My dilemma is I am not always able to get to a microwave. Some days I can. I try to find lunches that when I am at certain schools that are good and do not need to be microwaved. Most of the time I resort to cold pizza or pasta salad. That is old now. I need a change. When I know I am a school with microwave access I have no problem. When I worked at the bookstore, I never worried about lunches. I knew I would have some vegetables from the chinese restaurant or Subway. I miss these options. I enjoy veggies for lunch but my options are few and far between.

HELP! Any suggestions.

I feel like a celebrity...

2011-03-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

I do feel just like a celebrity when I go out in public these days.

It only goes to show you that you are being watched and you need to watch your actions.

You see everywhere I go now, someone knows me from being a substitute teacher or from our bookstore. I used to roll my eyes when we went out anywhere and everywhere and someone knew my mother...even in a hotel lobby in Louisiana. Now it has switched and some child knows me somewhere and every where. I know now not to show myself out in public.

Today I went to Busch Gardens for passmember preview day. Well I could give a rant in itself on that but the new owners of BG are not honoring some things from old owners of BG and somehow twisted it to look like it was our fault. Like I said, a whole different post on that.

I was standing in line to take the tram. This girl points at me and starts waving. Then she asks if I remember her. I hate this question because I see 80-90 different students a day if I am in middle or high school . Then I am usually a different teacher 5 days a week. Multiply this out... that is how many students I may see in a week. Sure honey, I remember you. I do remember most of the faces but not names. I smiled and just asked which school she went to and shook my head like oh yeah I remember you. This not only happens at BG, it happens in stores and restaurants.

Later in the day , I was walking with my nephew, my great friend , her son and her parents when a girl about 13 suddenly walks up to me like she has known me forever. I slightly recognized her but she remembered me. She was scared because her Dad was supposed to meet her at 5:30 at that spot and it was 5:40 and she could not find him. I was flabbergasted. My friend didn't know I had been stopped and she is walking ahead with her family and my nephew. I could not leave the poor girl stranded. I walked with her to the nearest concession stand in which the supervisor was there with a walkie-talkie. I asked him to help and he took over. I was torn between losing my party which included my nephew whom I was in charge of at the time and helping this little girl. ( NOTE: I am getting so old that I consider a 13 year old to be a little girl.) I stayed for a moment and made sure the girls were being cared for then caught up with my party.

On our way home, we exited the interstate and stopped at a stoplight near a local mall. Two teenagers were crossing the street right in front of my car. Once again, it was one of my students from a high school. He recognized me first and started waving to me. I waved back. I did know him because I frequent this high school and he is classified as a "runner". Nice kid but he will weedle a pass out of you for anything then he roams the halls for 30-40 minutes before returning but he always gets the pass because he is such a nice kid and negotiator.

Wow, I feel like I could not get away with anything anymore without someone seeing me somewhere.

So, I will be giving autographs out on Fridays at 3Pm for a fee of $5 a piece. At this rate I should have at least one fool. LOL!

Family drama update

2011-03-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Had a family situation today in which we all had to be together briefly. It was my great-aunt's 92nd birthday. For the sake of her, we put our differences aside and all showed up.

My mom's sister put on the biggest show. This celebration was not for her it was for their aunt. She came up and hugged my Dad and stated she has missed him and has not seen him in so long especially with all he has been through medically. Also said she was surprised he was able to come. She then came up and hugged me. I just rolled my eyes. She said that she never sees me anymore. Well Duh, I am over her abuse. Man, she put on the show. Even came back up to me later to tell me how much my grandfather LOVES me and I am the smartest woman he knows. He may have said all this, but I don't trust anything she says,ever.

I was thinking later. She probably was real happy because she brought my grandfather and she was in control of him and everything he does now. She is in her glory being in control.

I was appalled at her excitement over my Dad after the heck she has put him through and the accusations. It was unbelievable. Some of you may think she is turning a corner. Oh no, she was an actor because tomorrow she will be back to her old ways again when she does not have an audience.

As for my grandfather, he has told my mom fifty million times that he will make peace with my brother when he apologizes to him. He has nothing to apologize about. He saw him for the first time today since the pow-wow in October. He looked at him and said that he was not mad at my brother. Oh, he is not mad but he turned all the pictures of my brother and his wife backwards in his house. My sister went up to him and he was cold to her. He still thinks she is behind social services and was trying to put him in a home. She was not trying to put him in a home but trying to get him cared for.

As for the new member of the family, my mom's sister's husband. He just eggs all this on. He is the reason my grandfather is mad with my sister and was mad with my brother. He tells my grandfather all sorts of lies about what they are trying to do. They are doing nothing. Since this man is always buying my grandfather something he believes everything he says. My grandfather is always bought and will always be bought. Whoever buys him the most gets his respect.

This past week, my grandfather confessed that he went to a lawyer with my mom's sister. He says he does not remember what he had done but he knows she manipulated something when he was not in his right mind. He says he does remember 5 witnesses coming in the room. None of which he knew. All five testified that they knew my grandfather and knew he was in his right mind at the time of the change of the will. He swears he did not know any of them.

So as for the drama in my life, it really has not changed. My mom still checks on him at least once a day, five days a week. She has it thrown in her face every few days that she may go up five days a week but she only stays about an hour or so but when her sister comes up just 2 days that she stays for several hours. Of course, this comes from her sister. Every time my mom reminds her that the last year of my grandmother's life that either her or my Dad were there 24 hours a day. The response from her sister... That was then and this is now. So then my mom says, WHATEVER! Then she does what she can and what she cant she doesn't with no shame or guilt.

But really , you should have seen the acting today. She could win an Academy Award.

Disappointed...

2011-03-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

I walked more this week. I cut out my high sugar sodas. I was really psyched for a loss but unfortunately it was a .4 gain. I was upset but not going to let it bother me. I am trekking on and hoping for better results next week.

BEWARE

2011-03-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

BEWARE.....

Beware of buying gift cards for other places at gas stations and big box stores. It is always best to buy it directly from the source.

You have seen the displays at Wally World, convenience stores, and other places selling gift cards to restaurants. Beware because the cashiers do not always activate the cards. That happened to me tonight. I did not have the receipt because it was given to my parents for their anniversary. I went to Panera with one of their gift cards to bring dinner home from them. I did not know it was not a card Panera sells but a gas station sells for Panera. The card would not go through. The manager came out and made a few phone calls and found out it was never activated by the store that it was purchased. I was so embarrassed.

The manager was soooo nice. He could tell I guess by me reaction that I was really flabbergasted. He gave me the meals for free. I felt horrible and offered to pay for them with cash but he refused. I was also nervous because the cashier had said my check card was denied and I knew it could not have been denied. I did find out she had not worked the transaction right and was processing my check card as a gift card.

I felt embarrassed and awful about leaving with food that I did not pay for but I did offer. I told the manager that if we got the card situation straightened out I would bring it back in to him. I hope he does not think I stole that gift card I would never do that. I still feel like I stiffed them out of two sandwiches but I did offer to pay and did have cash to pay for it but knew the gift card would cover it.

All this writing to warn you to either not buy the giftcards at those stands or to make 100% sure the cashier activates it because I know you would not want your recipient to go through what I went through and be so embarrassed.

Kudos to Brian at Panera though for being so nice.

Odds and Ends...

2011-03-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Some odds and ends...

I have almost kicked my soda habit. This week I have had two half cans of Pepsi and a can of Sprite. I am used to a soda a day if not two cans.
I have been drinking sweet tea. I like the taste of tea with just a little sugar, so unlike a typical Southerner that likes a little tea with their sugar. Oh, I know what you are thinking... It is no different than soda. But it is... I use less than 1/4 cup of sugar per pitcher. I like the taste of tea with just a little sugar. That is only 4 tablespoons per pitcher and I was drinking half of that in one soda. I USUALLY share the pitcher of tea with the family.
I am burnt out with working with the children at church. I love them. I love my Sunday School class too but since the first of the year I have had to do children's church also every Sunday but 1 . That is prepping for my small Sunday school class and then prepping something for 10-12 kids at all age levels during church time too. My co-worker has been sick ALOT this year. We are usually on an every other week rotation, but that has not happened. I am tired and out of ideas. I cant do videos but so many weeks. I do my lesson and activities on my week but when I have to do her week too I have a habit of finding a movie but I am running out of movies.
I am still walking at least a mile a day 5-6 days a week. Some days more. Yesterday my outdoor cat followed me along with another cat I feed when his owners kick him out. I tried to get a picture but they were walking too fast.

That is it for now for this post.... I am supposed to weigh tomorrow but hate weigh-in days. I am afraid of a disappointment because I have been working so hard.

Sometimes answers are clear....

2011-03-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the answers are clear from God then sometimes they are very hazy.

Someone in our church has started a Women's Bible Study on Tuesday nights. I participated in the one on Ruth and thoroughly enjoyed it. The worst part was the drive to her house. She lives 30 minutes from me on a good day. She chose the book of Revelations. Studying end times does not excite me at all at this time in my life. The other side of me wanted to go for the fellowship and support with other women in the church. I have struggled with this for weeks. Today was the first meeting and as of 4 PM , I was still struggling.

Why was I struggling so much?

Because of Revelations,for one.

I watch my nephew after school on Tuesdays, it is 5:30 sometimes before I get home and then I cook dinner. I knew on nights like this I could utilize the crockpot. That still only gave me 30 minutes of rest and dinner before my 30 minute drive. Most days I will have left the house by 6:30 AM also.

I also have been struggling with things at church. I love my church but in my heart it is time to make a change. I am tired of some things and ready to move on. I love my church though. Make sense.

I love the women taking the study but really had thoughts of whether I am taking it to not let them down or to truly study the Bible.

I already prep a Sunday School lesson and children's church activities every week for our kids at church. I love those kids. I dont know if I could add another study on top of my other things to my list right now.

I made the decision today on my walk. My walk which was awesome. I did 2 miles in 36 minutes which is great for me. I listened to my newly synched IPOD with all scripture and Praise and Worship songs. It was me and God time. I decided that on the Tuesdays I did not have my nephew that I would attend the study. After all, I was supposed to have him today but his Dad stayed home sick and I did not have him after all. What a sign from God, right. In my mind, I made the decision to go but my heart was still heavy not really wanting to participate. As I kept walking I kept praying about some things in my life. A lot of things, my health, singleness, church, family. I was back to being wishy-washy again. I felt the Lord telling me that I needed to work on things with me including my health. See that has become my time with God. It was like he was telling not to take on anything more right now because I can not handle it. I then decided I was not going to participate. I know that sounds bad from a Christian perspective. I was relieved. I made a decision to concentrate on getting healthy and using my walking time to concentrate on praying and praising. I was satisfied with my answer then it was confirmed. My phone rang, it was my nephew. He wanted to go to baseball practice from 5-6:15 and did not have a ride because his Dad was sick and MOm was at work. He knows who to call and to count on. I then got in my car and took him to baseball practice. I knew then I could not go to the Bible Study and God had made it clear. I will miss the socialization of it but not the hustle and bustle of having to get there. I did realize I would be participating only to not disappoint the other women but knew if I started and didn't complete it, I would disappoint myself.

Another women's Bible Study has started at a local coffee shop on Mondays. I am seriously considering joining that one. It is closer. It is also on Mondays not Tuesdays which are easier. It is also not on Revelations. It also is more of a praise and church time which I am missing out on in my church because of working with the children.

I feel like I should feel bad for not participating in my church's Women's Bible Study but I don't. Is that bad?

I lost an arm....

2011-03-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

I lost an arm.... and a leg at the gas station today. It should not be $40 to fill up a compact car. A compact car that is all mine, I must remind you . I received the title for it on Saturday. Good thing because with the price of gas I needed that extra money this month.

I lost something else these last two weeks......9 pounds. YAYYYYY!

Why walk a dog?

2011-03-01T19:33:00.000-08:00

Why walk a dog?......When you can walk a cat.

I have been trying to walk at least a mile a day for the last few weeks. Some days I succeed and some days I fail. I have tracked an even one mile walk from my driveway down 2.5 blocks, across one and down three winding up at the other end of my street. I have walked this a few times by myself.

Saturday I made the mistake of walking near dinner time for my outdoor cat which means she was out and about and not sleeping somewhere. I cant call her a stray anymore because she is mine. I feed her and care for her. She decided to follow me. She usually on a normal day stays between my house and the two houses beside me and never crosses the street. She followed me all the way to the end of the block. I was very concerned because I would cross two busy streets and she would have to too. Then if she got lost I would worry. She was very skiddish too at this point. Thankfully this day some of the teenagers in the neighborhood were gathered on a porch and she decided to go get some attention. I told them I would be walking and just to shoo her on back down to my end in a few. They said they would and were delighted to pet her. She mosied her way on back home within 45 minutes.

This evening my Mom and I set out to walk. I was smart this time and fed her so she would be distracted. It did not work. She followed us all the way to the end of the block. The worry in me would not allow myself to go any further. I calculated how many times I would have to walk my own block to make up this route. It would be three times up and back. This cat followed me the entire walk. She kept up with me. She did not complain until the last trip. She then slowed down and would wail if I got too far ahead of her. It was so funny watching her and if any of the neighbors were watching, I am sure they were amused too. I even had to wait on her twice as she did what a dog would do on its walk, potty breaks. When we returned to the house , she went straight to the outdoor faucet and waited for me to give her fresh water. Who needs a dog?

I have been wanting a dog just for walking but did not want give all the care for a dog right now. I guess God answered my prayer. He gave me a walking cat.

I need to take a picture next time.

It was good

2011-02-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

I tried to make poached salmon for the first time this evening. I succeeded in making poached salmon this evening. It was ummh-ummh good. It was oh so moist. It was oh so tasty. I want some more.

I am not a recipe follower. I looked at one and thought, Ok what can I do. This is what I did. I sauteed a few green onions with garlic and olive oil. Then I added enough water to cover an inch of the pan. I added some Old Bay, butter and some salmon seasonings we already had. Let it come to a boil then placed my big piece of salmon in the pan. I put a few of the fresh green onions on top and some Old Bay. Let it boil then cover it for about 12-15 minutes. I had a big piece of salmon, you can adjust this by just uncovering and check to see if the salmon flakes.

I will never bake or broil salmon again. I may never grill it again either. This was that good.

Observing....

2011-02-21T20:33:00.000-08:00

This evening my nephew came over and was visiting at my house. He was on the computer playing games and I was observing him. He is such an awesome child. He has his days, he has his weeks but he is still awesome.

I was thinking of the life he may have had if he was not placed in this family. The thought that he would be with a no-good mother went through my mind. She has three other children that she does not have custody. Then I thought that it was mean of me to think of her being no-good. She was a good mother. She knew she could not care for him and gave him away to a family that could. In my mind, that is the way it is. I don't want to hear other wise. I don't want to ever hear that the real reason she gave him up was because she was all about her. Well, even if she was she knew with that attitude she couldn't raise him and still did the most awesome thing she could have done. She gave up her own flesh and blood to someone who could give him what she couldn't even if it is no more than she couldn't give love. She showed more love by letting him go to a home that loves him beyond your imagination.

On our drive back to his home , I told him that I love him. He said I love you. I said I love you more. This went on for awhile and he finally won the game by saying he loves me more 80 times. That is a lot of love. I did tell him that I loved him 100 times more. He said that is a lot of love. I said , Yes it is. I am so grateful for that love.

Thank You God for my nephew. I know I post a lot on adoption but it is the most awesome gift I have been given so far , my nephew. I hope to get stable and pursue adopting a child of my own one day.

I Love You More My Handsome Nephew.

I am trying....

2011-02-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

I really am trying to get back on track with exercise.

The good news is since last Sunday I have walked at least one mile six of the seven days. Go me.

As for my eating, I have good and bad days. Today was bad, bad, bad. I never sat and ate a meal. I ate a bunch of non-meals, junk and sodas. I am trying to get back on track with exercising and know that my eating will come naturally after that, I hope.

Everyone enjoy your President's Day off. I will be working because of one too many snow days around here.

Jeremiah 29:11

2011-02-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

That is the scripture God laid on my heart in my early twenties. I quote it everyday. I trust him with all my heart but I am struggling. What exactly are his plans for me? I keep waiting and waiting for things to happen but they never do. I am not questioning him just wondering when....

When will I find a husband?
When will I find a job?
When will I make enough money to survive?
When will I have a family of my own?
Will I have a family of my own?
What lesson am I learning at this point in my life?

The list goes on but I always cling to my Lord and my verse. I know he has a plan and one day it will be very clear.

Even my computer...

2011-02-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

Even my computer makes fun of my weight.

I went to synch my old Ipod just now. The file name it gave me was FAT32. Now what exactly does that mean. Now I would really be offended of it said FAT37, since that is my age. Though I don't feel it.

Seriously , did it have to give me the file name FAT. I don't need any more hints or teasing?

Do you know who you are?

2011-02-14T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today I started off in a regular ed Math class but was moved to a special education class for the second half of my day. I did not know it was autism until I got in the room.

One child walked up to me and read my name tag with no mispronunciations. The regular ed students cant even do this all the time. I never realized how hard it is for some people to pronunciate it. I also never realized that since part of it sounds like the word Southern that it would raise so many questions out of different students. It is Scottish. So for this child to walk up and just pronounce it like he says it everyday was astounding to me.

This same child started introducing me to the other 4-5 students. I listened and was impressed by his leadership. He shook my hand and started pointing and telling me who everyone was. The sub that was leaving who is a regular teacher who had to fill in until I was done with my previous class asked him if he had introduced himself to me. He looked at her with the straightest face and said, " No, I know who I am."

I could only laugh. That was the highlight of my bummer Valentine's Day though. He knows who he was but .... DO you know who you are?

Kids can be cruel...

2011-02-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

"Man she eats a dozen doughnuts. "

"Not just doughnuts probably cheeseburgers too."

" Man, she is huge."

"Obese."

"She might eat you too."

Chuckles

" Look at how fat that sub is."

"Whoah"

More laughs.

Yep this is what I heard today in the hallway before classes started. This was by far the the cruelest kids yet I have endured. I pretended to ignore them. It was getting to me though but I would not show it. Class bell rings, announcements are over and then I introduce myself. This was followed by a lecture of how immature these kids were and questioning if they had ever seen an overweight individual before because they were acting like they have not. I also informed them that I was here the day before for a lower class and they acted more mature then this upper class of middle schoolers. I also told them that I do not eat a dozen doughnuts or cheeseburgers but that people are all different sizes. Their mouths dropped and the room was silent. You see, they had just been called out for their foolishness.

The principal came by to see me later in the day inquiring about my day. I told him everything. He was embarrassed and ashamed. He was feeling me out to see if I would say anything because the teacher in the next class had heard it herself and had already reported it. He agreed with me that the kids he has this year were cruel. He was thoroughly embarrassed.

I refused to let this get to me. I refused to let these middle-schoolers see me get upset or cry. When I lectured them I kept a straight face. No emotions. This taunting went through my head for hours. I wanted to just leave but I refused to let them know they had run me away. I would prevail. I survived the rest of the day until I was leaving. As I passed some girls outside to leave. One looked back at me , laughs and then says, "Whoah." That was it for me. When I made it to my car, the tears came. I had lasted all day but that was the final straw.

I am due to go back there Thursday. I have had good days at this school, this was a first. I have been wavering with cancelling the job and going somewhere else that day. There is that part of me though that refuses to let the kids get to me.

I must confess a few hours later I did go get a doughnut. I tried not to but after all that crudeness today, my emotional eating gave in.

Dinner

2011-02-07T16:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I have to share something that was good. I found boneless pork loin on sale last week so I bought one. I usually slow cook them in the crock pot with dry onion soup mix and water. Turns out great. I always shop at Save-A-Lot and my store carries a lot of the Goya products. We get the flan for my grandfather because he loves egg custard and this is as close to what my grandmother used to make. I have been eyeing a marinade for weeks. I go in there several times a week to pick up milk, bread or some last minute item we are out of. We have a small store so I love our store. I can get in and out yet still get good quality products too. Oh, back to my marinade. It is the Goya Mojo Criollo. It really interested me because of the word mojo, sounds like mojito and I like a mojito every once in a blue moon. I finally broke down and bought it. It was around $3, it was not the price holding me back but the wondering if it was sweet and if it was salty or not. I took my pork loin and marinated it over night in the Mojo Criollo. I used 3/4 of the bottle to cover the loin 3/4 of the way fat side up and poked the loin with my fork to let the marinade seep in on the other side. This morning we drained off over half the marinade then placed it in the crockpot for 8 hours. Oh my , it was delicious. It was fork tender and just enough flavor to be good but not overpowering. I am now plotting in my mind how it would taste over chicken. If your store has this , you have to try it. I did learn that Mojo Criollo is a cuban marinade. Needless to say, it will be on my shopping list again.

My other latest food venture is roasted vegetables. This evening I roasted peeled eggplant. I sliced it about 1/4" thick but did not chunk it. When I chunk it , it has a tendency to reduce to nothing. I also bought the precut butternut squash and some cauliflower. I take a little garlic, olive oil, Mrs. Dash and Molly McButter. It was delicious too. I cooked it all in the same pan on 400 for about 30 minutes.

See, I am trying to eat healthier. I accompanied all this with Mrs. Miller's Amish Spinach noodles.

Yummy!

http://www.goya.com/english/product_subcategory/Regional-Specialties/Caribbean