Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I didn't do it.....

Nope, I didn't do it.

I did not exercise today. I have been trying to make that a daily habit again. I have had bronchitis and a terrible cough for weeks. I was feeling better this week. I went to Aqua Zumba Monday night and enjoyed it. I did yardwork yesterday. Today, I was going to Aqua Zumba but dinner took longer than expected to cook. I was hungry and didn't want to wait until after 9 to eat dinner after Zumba. So, I stayed home.

I told myself that I would do a walking DVD. I even changed into comfortable shorts , tshirt and a sports bra. Yep, putting on the sports bra would make me exercise. Oh, that is funny.

It didn't happen.

I didn't do it.


We are finding it easier to go through some of my brother's belongings slowly. Today we went through two Bibles, one when he was a young boy and  a New Testament he took to church as an adult . My brother was an ordained deacon at our church. We found a note in his New Testament of some notes he wanted to share with the deacons about things that were not quite right. Some background history, my brother wanted change, these men wanted to do things the way they have always done it. This became a big problem in the meetings.

Out of the blue one week my Grandfather received a visit from some of the older deacons. There was a big vote going out on some change in the church, they were collecting votes. It was kind of dumb to go to the grandfather of a deacon wanting change. Their philosophy was they were visiting the elder members who get ignored...ok....Well, within a few hours my Grandfather calls my mom hotter than a firecracker. These men had told him there was a big vote coming up and they needed his vote to keep the church the way it has always been . He played their game while they were there because he is no dumb bunny. My grandfather already knew what was going on. These men told him that evil had gotten into to our church through one of the deacons and this deacon was wanting to change how things have always been done...ummmmh! This is his grandson. He not only was angry about why they came to the house but their agenda. He said in 40 years, no deacon has been to my house. Furthermore, wanting me to vote on something and thinking I am dumb enough to not know they are calling my grandson evil. This took place when my grandfather was of his good mind.

Well, in my brother's Bible we found a notecard in his hand-writing. It had  letters circled and notes beside each letter of things he wanted to talk about. The second letter was V for Visitation....are we doing it because we care , money or to get votes for our own agenda . Then you saw written, Grandfather/evil. Off those few words I remembered the whole story.

I was re-reading my blog the other night of some past posts. One of them talked about a man who disliked my brother but years later came up to my Mother and I and talked about my brothers passion for change and how he loved my brother. He also stated he sobbed and sobbed at the funeral.....Well , it was the same man my brother had wrote those words about. He is now in Heaven also.

I will post memories from time to time. Sometimes they will make sense to no one but me but I want to share....

My church is struggling to this day because the elders didnt allow change and now all the young ones who would carry on the church have left. HMMH! I wonder if that's how God wants his churches to be.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I did it.....

I did it.....I saw my former sister-in-law and I did not give her a piece of my mind. Oh, I wanted to. After over 2 years, she finally gave us some of my brother's belongings. We were the last to receive anything. Nice to know where we stand.

She met us with her new husband at my nephew's game. I did get up and acknowledge her and side hug her. I did not talk much because I do not trust my mouth and what might come out. I heard her tell my sister that she gave this of his to this person and this of his to that person. I sat there thinking  oh how nice , all of these people above us. But instead of letting the devil win with my mouth , I chose to sit away and slowly eat Goldfish to keep my mouth busy.

She stayed the whole game. Her, her husband, my sister and Mom carried on conversations. At the end , she gave us 3 boxes and cried. Everyone hugged her and I stood away. I am dealing with alot of hurt and bitterness with her. She came over on her own, which she has never done, and hugged me.

How do I feel? I dont know. There are years of hurt , lots of hurt and it is hard to let go. I know Biblically what I should do but I am not ready. I am proud of how I was able to be around her and not be ugly.

My nephew did go up to her after being encouraged to hug her. Before we left, he , on his own, walked up to me and just hugged me and wouldn't let go. He is 11 and usually gives side hugs for a second. This was both arms front hug and not letting go. I think it was his way of letting me know, he understands and loves me always. .

I just ask you to pray for peace for our future.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Sometimes you just need a laugh

Sometimes the stupidest thing can make you laugh and not stop.

I was at the pharmacy waiting my turn to get put in a refill. There was a weird acting woman in front of me. She was asking slurred questions to the pharmacy assistant. The pharmacist comes over and states that he cant fill that prescription. He doesn't know the doctor, he doesn't know the patient and furthermore the prescription was from over 90 miles away. She says , yes I know its for my friends cousin who lives up north. I squint my eyes to see the prescription.....oxycodone....I could only laugh and not stop . I had the pharmacist tech laughing cause I could not stop laughing at what people will do for a fix.

Ohh...maybe you had to be there but it is also very sad.