Saturday, March 23, 2013

God Nudge

This evening I stopped by the local Chinese restaurant to get some House Mei Fun. It is made with a rice noodle and  I love it from this one restaurant. As I was ordering someone came up behind me and interrupted me for his order of two egg rolls. I was mad because I was there first, whine whine whine. This man ordered two egg rolls but when he found out the price , he changed it to one because he didn't have enough money. I ordered mine and when I pulled my money out , I turned so he wouldn't see my money. I had the cash from the business in my pocket too and pulled out the wrong wad. ( Wad of money... ooh I sound rich... my wad was all ones) I stepped away and he went to the restroom. He came out and said... Hey Baby girl, how are you? I said fine but was thinking... who are you to refer to me as baby girl and secondly if you really know my age you would know this baby girl is probably older than you. I stewed for a minute. In the mean time, God SPoke... yep in the middle of my anger and sarcasm, God Spoke. He said, go up there and order that man dinner. I stood there thinking, whatever.... he probably drinks or smokes and has money for that. Did I say... God Spoke. I knew if I didn't listen this time, I would be disobedient. I went up there to where he was standing and asked him if that egg roll was his dinner tonight. He said yes it is, its all I had money for. I said let me buy you some soup and he said no. I said let me buy you chicken wings and he said ok. I then asked if he wanted french fries or fried rice and he said fried rice. He looked at me and asked why I was doing this because the egg roll was enough. I told him God told me to and I don't fight with God. He thanked me and I left. Then I was thinking does he have something to drink. I remembered I had capri-suns in my car. I went in the trunk and got two out and one Gospel of John and a Life Book that I am passing out right now. I asked the couple walking in to give it to him but by then he was walking out. I handed it to him and he asked me again why I was doing this. I told him that God told me to. He asked if he could hug me and I hugged him. He said he loved me and would be at church tomorrow. I told him where mine is but just a general area not specific. I don't think he will be at my church then it makes me wonder if he will beg if he does. I don't know why this happened and let me tell you this was very rare for me. He did not appear grungy or smelly. I don't know his life or situation. He did tell me he was homeless now. I know God told me to feed him and I did in more than one way...physical food, emotional food with the hug and spiritual food with the books. I let knowing I had blessed him and felt Iwas blessed too. He saw me drive off and stopped , stooped and waved. What impressed me in this all... he never asked for money even for the .63 cents he was short for the egg rolls. I have to trust God with his nudge that this man needed a little bit of love and encouragement tonight.... I almost didn't go to this restaurant tonight because I don't like this parking lot alone at night but God was watching and in control.


I just want to remind my two blog readers that this blog is my thoughts. I dont worry about grammar, sentence structure,quotations or anything else in the english etiquette. I have things on my mind and sometimes my mind goes faster than my fingers when typing. I know proper English and etiquette and if I were writing a professional paper , it would be correct. But as for my blog...its just that my blog thoughts. I also know how to spell and in every day life that is my pet peeve, on here... I DONT CARE!

Nobody has complained.... just explaining.

I will admit, Icant type worth anything and failed typing in high school. So sometimes I just blame that and my sorry keyboard too.

If the Popo had pulled me....

If the PoPo had pulled me Friday for speeding and reckless driving, they would have had a problem and a chase. Well a chase at least to my nephew's private christian school. Now that would have been on the news.

You see, I have taken the month off from subbing to concentrate on closing the business down. Only thing is I had to work three days to keep my name active in the system. So I chose three days at a 3 PM release school with a teacher that had a student teacher so it would be stress free. This meant the two days we had my nephew, I could not pick him up because he gets out at 3 PM too.

Friday morning on my break, I called the store to remind my Mom to get munchkin at 3. She was busy at the moment and could not talk. I told her best friend, who did tell her. I get out of school at 3:10 and go straight to the store and arrive at 3:18 in which I see my Mom's van. I thought hmmh, Munchkin's Daddy must have gotten off early and picked him up. I walked to the back and said Mom, do we not have Munchkin today? HUHHHH WHAT? WHAT TIME IS IT? OHHH CRAP! I forgot about him. I take off running out the store and yell for my mom to call the school.

This is when the Popo possibility starts. I drove like a bat out of well, you know where. My cousin was driving by as I was running to the car and beeped. I had to get in the car, start it, pull out and wait on traffic to pull out. I caught up with him and passed him. When I did pass him . he gave me this weird look. I was a speed demon and a lane changing jerk.I had to go past the grave sites which always has a funeral at this time of day which means the popo are near too. I kept speeding while thinking. Popo if you follow me you just going to have to catch me at the school parking lot. I am late and in a hurry.

Praise the Lord, I was in the clear today. I walked briskly to the office then down to the cafeteria where they had him in after school care. He was fine but I was afraid he would be scared and upset. This happened one other time years ago in a mix-up and he sat in the hall and cried. That would break my heart. He looked at me reluctantly like, why did you get here so fast, I was having fun. I hugged him and signed him out. Then he looked at me and said.... WHY DID YOU FORGET ME TODAY? I looked at him and said...BLAME YOUR NANNY I WAS AT SCHOOL!

I have thought long and hard about his statement of forgetting him. I am going to explain that we never forget about him that Nanny just lost track of time. How could we ever forget about him... NEVER!

So if you ever read the news about a car chase ending in a church parking lot... It just might be me because someone lost track of time.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Would have been 50

Today was a hard day. My sister and her family came over for dinner to brighten things and face it together. Here is my facebook post.

It is the eve of your birthday. I thought I could be strong but the tears keep flowing. You would have been 50 tomorrow. I thank about what we would have done as a family to celebrate. I remember your 40th so clearly celebrating with friends at the store and all the over the hill gifts. Next month is my 40th and I wish you could be here to celebrate with me. I miss you so much Rob and think you would have been proud of me closing the store with integrity and allowing for goodbyes. It has been heart breaking not having you here to help. I love you, miss you and always will.

This is him years ago in his van I named the Scooby Mobile. I miss that smile. I miss him.

Thursday, March 14, 2013


My Mom's surgery was a success. They got the cancer,so they say, and some calcified tissue around it. They biopsied her toe also because of a weird spot. She did good until she woke up. She was very emotional. We walked in and she was balling and saying... Robert is dead. Robert is dead.She had me crying and I couldnt stop the tears for about 20 minutes.I had already had a moment earlier when out of instinct, I thought ... I need to call Rob. I fought tears for awhile after that thought.

Please continue to pray. She starts radiation in a few weeks.

On a lighter note, when I get a working keyboard, I will share more memories of my brother.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Prayer Request

Please pray for my mom as she undergoes a lumpectomy tomorrow to remove stage zero breast cancer. Please continue to pray for her as she starts 4-6 weeks of radiation shortly after the surgery.

My Song

The song that gets me through my tough days...

Flood by Jars of Clay

Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud


But if I can't swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again

Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground


Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me


Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again